The Great Saphenous Vein

Adios Amigos

2005-08-26T15:10:00.000+10:00

Hi people,

It's official. I am not updating this site anymore.

But i will be still be visiting this blog often to revise the links, and browsing the good reads. So all is not lost.

And i will be keeping this blog for the archives.

Farewell, my readers. :)

Sub-rosa?

2005-08-24T21:56:00.000+10:00

I have been toying with the idea of setting up a private blog. No pictures of myself, none of my friends. Just of inanimate stuff.

So i will join the band of faceless authors who speak from beyond their walls of blogs.

And i don't want to be linked.

2 reasons.

1) I have been reading medical blogs, and time and time again i have seen the medical personnel bringing up the topic of patient confidentiality and how you (the author) can be threatened with legal action. To tell you offhand now, i am pretty sure i covered my tracks well, by intentionally tweaking a lot of details. But i also realized that my location and how i sometimes unwittingly (and accidentally) mention certain key details of where i study and where i go for my field visits, would narrow down the search. I am paranoid. But so what?

2) I realized that by being so open with my blog, divulging certain stuff i don't normally tell everyone, i am out in the light, while the people waiting to backstab me; i don't who they are, but i am sure i must have offended quite a few people whom i blasted and rightly so, are reading my blog diligently, and waiting to plot their next move. I am exaggerating, but it has come to my attention that some people whom i wouldn't under normal circumstances give my blog address to, have been snooping around. Actually, it has been brought to my attention a long time ago, i just didn't think too much about it, till the patient confidentiality issue cropped up.

It's nice to be faceless once in a while, and simply blog your guts out. Really.

Just like WaiterRant or Opinionstats. And without too many links around.

The downside is, my readership probably drop to a zero, and it probably take me a longer time to build it up, because i am going to make my new site as obsure as possible.

So how??? Should i or should i not.

I should.

Ask the Creator

2005-08-23T20:51:00.000+10:00

Remember how i was mentioning that since i entered university, not all my questions relating to my academic work are being answered, not because of my incompentent professors (far from that actually), but because research have not not been able to yield the answer, or no one has looked into it yet?

I recently e-mailed one of my lecturers with questions regarding a topic we were taught long ago. (Yes, that's how far behind i am in my workload. But slow and steady wins the race aye?) And the reply came back to me in bold red words.

YOU HAVE TO ASK THE CREATOR!!

I didn't know whether to laugh at this professor's weak stab at poor humour, or whether i should frown and get irritated with his unprofessionalism. I am still undecided. You tell me.

On my hand, it is indeed amusing. The exasperation the professor feels, when he is helpless against some of our questions. And so he tries to crack a joke to lighten the mood.

On the other, is it really that hard to type something along the line of,

"Hey, no one has any idea why it is like that, maybe they will find out one day, and i will be sure to let you know!!! :) "

Ok, i know, that's too much to ask. But still it sounds more intellectual right??

Haha, i guess it is really down to my mood. Having received a cynical e-mail from my spanish teacher, i am less incline to tolerate one from another.

*****
My course have a couple of postgraduates. I was chatting with one of them, when she mentioned that during the bridging course for postgraduates, the professors actually explicitly told them to hold back during the discussions, to allow the undergraduates to have a chance in expressing themselves and learn. I was quite surprised, because i thought it would be rather unfair and boring for the postgraduates. It is like playing a handicapped match. And a defiant part of me is also annoyed that they can underestimate our capabilities. It is a ridiculous thought i know. But i can't help it. I am just egoistic. Heh.

But last week, i was doing a computer prac with this postgrad. He is in his mid-thirties i guess. And he sure as hell knows a lot of background stuff. So there was this pressure to keep up with his pace. He was very considerate, always asking whether i have read whatever that was displayed on the screen and whether we could proceed. Of course i felt bad. In a way, i felt like i was holding him back, you know? So i actually had to kick my brain into motion, and was forced to speed up my thinking. Don't go "Huh?? If you can think faster, why didn't you do it in the first place?" Because it is exhausting, and i don't see why i have to rush. Either way, i will get to the finishing point anyway, and there are no prizes for the first one to get there anyhow.

And boy, i really racked my brains and matched his speed. Needless to say, i was slightly wobbly (not in the physical sense) after that. But i was happy, and satisfied with myself, because i proved that i could match up, and interestingly, i could recall some of my work, and actually apply the knowledge to deduce certain conclusions. Heh.

News Spam

2005-08-22T21:24:00.000+10:00

I'm hereby spamming my blog with more news articles, found on my hideous journey to search for references for an impending essay with grotesque topics, and an ever-yawning deadline.

I'm exhausted. Never read so many health articles in my life. My eyes can barely keep open, and it's only 9-freaking-30pm in the night. I can't go to the gym because i can't spare the time, and i doubt i can squeeze some time for some spanish learning too. Which directly translates to being slaughtered a second time by my ever-wonderful Spanish teacher.

Speaking of which, did you know i e-mailed the teacher for recommendations of any CD-roms that could provide an accurate pronunciation, so that i am able to mimic it like a parrot and learn at the same time? It was the second time i have raised the question. The first time, she gave me a very vague answer, such that i didn't realize i had no answer, till i left the class. And this is her fabulous reply.

"Ias por tu email. Remind me to talk about this to the whole class on Thursday. Saludos, XXX"

I nearly gagged when i read the first line. There is a reason why i wrote the e-mail to her in English you know? My heart sank when i scanned the first line. The second line just made me irritated. I don't know what the Spanish words mean, and i have no intention to find out. I only know that i am pretty relieved and triumphant that i went ahead with my decision to purchase my spanish books, instead of relying on a rather unreliable teacher. A teacher who wants you to get your vocabulary and grammar right by the next lesson, which is this-coming Thursday, but one who doesn't want to help you along the way by at least recommending some useful text. *Rolls eyes* I shall stop being cynical. I shall be less judgemental like my medical training is teaching me to be. Maybe she thinks i shouldn't waste money on lousy materials compared to her invaluable guidance. Qué demonios.

I just went to Elaine's place to have dinner. She whipped up a rather sumptous meal for us, sambal vegetables, and sweet and sour pork ribs? Definitely a far cry from the 2 pieces of bread i flippantly slap together with a piece of ham squeezed carelessly into the middle. How i met Elaine is rather an interesting story. It was completely unplan on both our parts. I know you are probably snorting away and thinking, "Since when were friends planned ?" I know, but this was purely accidental.

It was pouring, and i was walking to school, with a forlorn looking umbrella in one hand, and my iPod in the other. Music was blaring in my ears as i attempted to drown out the noises from the speeding cars across the puddles, and the rain pattering around. It was peaceful, and i was enjoying my nonchalant walk in the cold weather. Suddenly, i heard a voice piped out beside me, and i turned to see this girl completely drenched, popped up beside me, under my umbrella. Needless to say, i was a bit taken aback. I don't imagine people just appearing out of the blue under your umbrella, do you? Anyhow, she asked me whether i was heading to the uni, and whether she could share my umbrella. Now the last question is quite redundant anyway. Can i say NO? And proceed to chase you from under my umbrella into the pouring rain? Obviously not. But it is an act of courtesy i guess. But strange that some questions asked, are not really questions; they are merely statements of required social etiqutte disguised in the form of questions. A further testimony of the complicated society we are living in.

Ok, here are the articles.

I think implementing this sleep module into our course, is a good idea, though i am sure i will be howling my head off, from the added workload.

Doctors taught to sleep soundly

An Excerpt:

LONDON (BBC News) -- Trainee doctors are being taught the importance of getting a good night's sleep in a pioneering course.

Medical staff are renowned for working long shifts, and tiredness has been linked to an increased risk of errors.

The course at Warwick Medical School teaches students how to deal with their sleep problems, and those of patients.

Lack of sleep is a common problem, but the professor teaching the Warwick course said it is barely covered in the usual undergraduate curriculum...

Something to ponder about

2005-08-22T17:02:00.000+10:00

Have finally decided to seriously sit my ass down, and read through a Health Practice assignment, that all my friends (aside from my clique), have been stressing about. Didn't understand why they were so uptight about it, since it is only due in 2 weeks' time. But i am feeling the slight stirrings of hysteria now, when i realize i know shit about anything. So anyhow, here's an article i came across whilst sifting through some AIDS news.

I wonder why some people are just out to make quick money, without any consideration of the social implications, discrimination and mental consequences that can result due to their self-absorb mentality. Money, as far as i am concern, is not everything. I know it is important, and sometimes essential, but you know, it is not always about yourself all the time. Becoming rich out of someone's misery, that's not very unhonourable, and the money becomes filthy. How can one bring his or herself to touch and use the money then?

Doctors blast DIY Aids test Kit

An Excerpt:

Johannesburg - Doctors blasted a supermarket franchise for selling HIV/Aids kits on Tuesday, saying self-testing without counselling would be disastrous and lead to possible misuse by employers, insurers and even state officials.

"Imagine allowing a 13-year-old to self-diagnose cheaply and without any support or counselling, it could destroy their lives," said Kgosi Letlape, chairperson of the independent South African Medical Association (Sama) which groups some 17 000 doctors.

"It could lead to suicide or someone going on a spree and infecting as many people as possible," he said reacting to a report on Monday that a supermarket franchise had put up a do-it-yourself HIV/Aids kit for sale...

Life's funny antics

2005-08-21T19:37:00.000+10:00

I was recounting about Friday's incident, and i found it quite funny, after the shock had passed. After some careful analysis, i don't think that girl was drunk. She was most probably on a dare, and her crimson red face was due to her furious blushing. Actually, in that kind of situation, her only hope of completing the dare would be to rattle off her question the minute the person opened the door, and do what she needed to do before the victim could reply, and then hurriedly disappearing before whatever that happened had registered in the victim's shocked brain.

Fortunately for her, that kind of tactic may have worked for most people, but not for an extreme homophobic like me. If that happened, a red mist would probably have descended upon me, and my self-control evaporated. I would have probably hunted her down, and hurt her real bad, until i feel that my repulsion and shame have been sufficiently compensated. But the probability of that happening before she lies unconscious, bleeding, or with enough bone breakages to commit her into a hospital for a good half a year, is extremely slim. So i am really glad she read my body language. I wouldn't have been able to bear that kind of consequences when my sanity returns. I doubt she would be able to.

I was relating the incident with my mum over MSN, because i found it really amusing after that. There was a long pause from her side, before, i assume, she recovered from her shock. Apparently, she doesn't share the same sense of humour as me. This was how the conversation went.

"Yesterday a girl tried to kiss me, i thought she was drunk. Haha, so funny."

(A major long pause. I actually i thought i got somehow disconnected without my knowledge.)

"Make sure you don't get entangle in such a mess!"

"..." (What the hell. Obviously not the kind of response i was expecting.)

"Obviously i won't lah! I have got a butch as a neighbour, maybe she completed her dare there instead."

"What?! I thought your neighbours were Singaporean boys?"

(Me, highly bemused. It's strange my mum rather i have a couple of guys as neighbours, than a butch. I wonder whether she managed to figure out which anatomical part can actually be of more danger.)

"Eh...my neighbour opposite is a butch lah."

"That girl Singaporean ah?"

"Yeah. From Raffles Junior College."

(Another silence. For your info, Raffles Junior College is supposedly the most prestigious school in Singapore, so my mum was probably trying to connect this nugget of information and the revolting behaviour of the girl. She probably couldn't make the connectione. Hah.)

"These girls. Parents spend so much money to send them here, and they do this kind of nonsense."

Spoken like a true kiasu Singaporean parent. I shook my head, the joke completely lost and stale. I changed the subject. Some things, parents just don't get it. They worry about everything else, but the funny part. I wonder what my father would have done if i had told him instead. It would have been interesting witnessing his reaction. Heh.

*****
I was revising through my notes, when i did a Google search. I happen to be studying about obesity now, and how it is a major concern of all medical (and non-medical) personnel.

First off, i just need to say that it has been proven that obesity is 75% genetic. It could be due to a lack of certain chemicals in the body, hence appetite cannot be suppressed. Obesity can also be triggered by some dormant genes. For example, if you eat more than you should, normally the body would try to get rid of the excess weight, to return to the normal set point (ideal weight). Unfortunately, for some people, the overeating causes certain dormant genes to be triggered, such that the set point is raised higher than the normal ideal value. So they cannot help eating, because it is controlled genetically.

There are strong evidence too. Studies done on identical twins, who were separated from birth, and who grew up in highly different environments tend to have similar weights, and their weight range is closer to their biological parents than to their adoptive parents. So obesity is not just due to being gluttony or slothful.

But, there are a couple of judgemental people out there who are discriminating against obese people.

Ellen White charged that Israel was destroyed by obesity, saying that God granted their desire, giving them flesh, and leaving them to eat till their gluttony produced a plague.

This is an utter load of crap. Don't put words into God's mouth, and use his name in any kind of agenda you have.

Gwen Shamblin, a woman who set up the Weigh Down workshop, reaping millions of dollars from it, stated that gluttony is a sin, shamelessly basing her diet on the Holocaust, with no sensitvity to the people who been through it.

This is an appalling excerpt.

"I don't think there's any debate whether genetics plays a role in obesity and weight loss," Vanderbilt dietitian Jamie Pope tells investigative reporter Phil Williams.

She points to numerous scientific studies of children separated from their birth parents, as well as studies of twins.

"Identical twins that are reared even apart end up being very similar in body weight despite different environments."

But Shamblin counters, "I believe that's described from Exodus 20 where it talks about the sins of the generation."

So what's Shamblin's basis for rejecting the role of genetics?

"Gwen went on to say that there were survivors of the Holocaust who got out of there alive not having had barely any food at all," says former employee Tonya Cardente.

Cardente says Shamblin frequently pointed to the Nazi genocide of the Jews and saw justification for her diet plan. "Clearly you can survive on a whole lot less than you think, look at the Holocaust victims."

"This is not true that I've used the Holocaust over and over again," Shamblin responds. "It's somebody who told you that. I have not."

But on CNN's Larry King Live, this is what the Weigh Down founder said:

"How in the Holocaust did you have all these people getting down real skinny? They ate less food."

And in a videotaped deposition obtained by NewsChannel 5, she explained her rejection of the role of genetics:

A: "What I base the genetics on is documentation in the seige in the Holocaust, that when people were in prison camps and ate less food, they lost weight -- all of them."

Then, another fellow who submitted an article to the Medical Journal of Australia.

John N Burry said that Self-Control of one's weight might be described as a form of bioethics. In other words, he is saying that the obese choose to be obese, and in doing so, put a strain on the health system and economy.

Can you please tell me, which person wants to be fat?? Isn't the reason for diet pills flying off the shelves the major attraction of people trying desperately hard to lose weight?

I am not sure why these people have such mentalities. But i do know that obesity is not always the result of a person's laziness and greed. That say, i also want to emphasize that being obese is not beneficial to oneself at all. Obesity brings a whole host of medical problems such as hypertension and Diabetes Mellitus Type 2. A proper diet and regular exercise is the best way to live a good life! :)

P/S: After much searching and hunting, i finally bought 2 Spanish supplement books. This time, they have both English and Spanish translations, so i at least i understand what the hell is in front of me. Forgo purchasing a dictionary, because i felt i was still too early in my language learning to have to make such an expensive investment. Furthermore, there is always time for me to get one, when i return home to Singapore, end of this year. It would be much cheaper too. And i didn't bother to buy any audio CDs or CD-Roms. Gave up trying to find a suitable one, since all had mixed reviews. Anyhow, one of the books i bought, Hugo Spanish in 3 months, had comprehensible ways of pronunciation, so that was great. If i am still unsure of how to pronunce it, i shall refer to my teacher, since i am forking out the money anyway. The other book i got was Spanish by Association. The minute i laid my eyes on the book's contents, i knew i was never going to let go of it, and i just realized that it has fabulous reviews. Coincidentally, both books i bought were the last copies, and well within my budget. What a good bargain. Heh.

Shaking like a leaf

2005-08-19T23:36:00.000+10:00

A good half hour ago, i heard a rap on my door.

I was busy learning my Spanish Grammer. I heard the sound, waited for a couple of seconds, before i walked to my door. I peered through the peep hole and i saw a couple of laughing girls at my neighbour's door.

I must have heard wrongly.

So i returned to my desk to resume my Spanish revision.

A second rap on my door. This time, louder and clearer.

I waited again, as i tried to commit a spanish phrase into my memory before i strode to the door.

I saw a girl outside my door. I didn't recognize her. She was alone and she looked harmless, so i opened the door.

I stared at her.

"Yes?"
"Er..."

I looked at her. Her face was a crimson red. She looked drunk. A sense of foreboding filled me. A drunkard at my door?

I heard a couple of giggles, and i turned to see another girl at the corner. Friend of this girl. Uh oh.

I stared at the friend, and she vanished from view.

"Did you get the wrong apartment?" I asked, vaguely recalling a similar incident occurring a couple of months back. I was eager to end this, and i wanted to get back to my Spanish.

"Er..." she dumbly replied, again.

She turned back to glance at her giggling friend.

I stood there, and slowly, i inched the door close, till it was only 1/3 ajar.

Is this girl possessed? I wondered, as my overactive imagination kicked into life. I stared at her, wondering what the hell was going on, and what i was supposed to do. I noticed the Raffles Junior College emblem on her T-shirt. A fellow Singaporean...

"Can i kiss you?" she suddenly blurted out.

Stunned but without a moment's hesitation, i firmly retorted.

"No."

She stepped into my apartment, oblivious to my answer, advancing towards me.

Appalled at the audacity of this girl, I let go of the door and took a step back.

The blood rushed into my head.

Shit. I thought wildly. I had to fight. This girl was not giving me any chance.

She propped my door open and came closer.

I got into a defensive stance, and raised my right hand, with my finger in the air. Her last warning, and my final call to defend.

She saw, and she understood.

She hurriedly retreated, and called out to her friend, "She won't allow me."

I slammed the door shut with a resounding bang. And proceeded to slip the lock loudly into place.

I walked to my desk and tried to re-read my Spanish, but i couldn't concentrate. I couldn't sit still.

Then the shakes started. The adrenaline still coursing strongly in my veins. Moves after judo moves whizzed into my head. I shook as i thought of the close shave, and the consequences that would have resulted. Both of us could have gotten hurt, because of her stupidity.

The shakes wouldn't stop. It always happens before i brace myself for a fight and in the aftermath.

Fucking Rafflesian.

Need to calm down. Need to breathe. Need to relax. Damn her.

Ayúdeme

2005-08-18T20:45:00.000+10:00

I'm tired. And i am stressed.

Spanish class was hell.

Feel so guilty. Lagging behind everyone. Can't understand a damn word the professor is saying. I know i can keep up, that's why i feel so bad. But i can't spare the time. I really can't.

I am so sorry if you are mad, or if you are unhappy with my attitude. But that's just the way it is. 2 hours is too long. You speak in Spanish, ramble on and on. I can absorb the first few vocab words, understand some grammar; i'm happy. But you are not. You want me to know the whole damn list, 30++ words, in 2 hours? After a long day in school? I am sorry, i am not that capable.

Maybe the boss of the language centre is pressurizing you, maybe the rest of the class is very eager to learn. Go ahead, i am not stopping you. But why do you still pick on me?? I know you want me to get my Spanish right. I know you want me to make my money worth. But sometimes, you got to understand, maybe Spanish ain't my first priority in life right now. I am not a very good audio learner. I am a visual learner. You are a professor. You should know that by now. Different people learn things differently man. You want me to learn, you write it down. You can't commit that kind of effort or time, it's fine with me. Just leave me alone in class. I know you care, and i don't want to make things difficult, but please. Try to read my body language. Maybe this is a mistake.

Too much things to handle. Too much to remember. I am stress. If this continues, i am going to get a breakdown, or i will turn violent.

Leave me alone. I will get my stuff right in time to come. Just need a little understanding on your part. Don't make me regret this.

Update

2005-08-18T17:20:00.000+10:00

Typing this on a brand-new Mac (it's a flat screen with vibrant colours! The only thing Macs got it right) in my school's computer lab. Practical ended early, so i have more time on my hands than i forsee, before Spanish class. I should be reading something about conjugate verbs that Erfana (my friend) reminded me, but, oh, what the hell.

A little about what happened the past few days.

Prissy X (my housemate, obviously not her name) forgot to lock my apartment. I came home one day, after visiting the post office to collect a parcel my mum sent me, and at the same time, misjudging the size of it. So i was balancing the box precariously on one hip, with 2 arms wrapped helplessly around it, and an iPod that was being juggled crazily around, threatening to crash to the ground soon, if i wasn't more gentle to it. I swore when i saw a letter in my mailbox, not because i hate for people to write to me and that i have to be forced to write back (hell no), but because with so many things to handle, i still had to stick my key into the stubborn lock, prodded and jangled it with much annoyance before it finally succumbed. That's the kind of service you are provided, for the hefty sum of money you fork out to the place where i am saying. I shall refrain from ~~complaining~~ rambling on.

So anyhow, when i finally got to the front of the apartment door, i was hoping X (my housemate) would magically appear, so i wouldn't have to fumble around the lock again. Obviously, i was dreaming, and X is not that civic-minded anyway. Whatever. I slipped the key in, and my jaw dropped, when the key turned effortlessly, and the door swung open. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have been unusual. But under the conditions of where i am staying, where the locks don't resist and fight the useless battle with you before eventually giving way? No way.

So i entered my apartment. I assumed X was doing her laundry, and was going to come back right in. But a quick check round the apartment showed that no one was home. And a small voice piped up in my head. Even if X had left to do her laundry, she should have locked the damn apartment because no one is home. Anyone could have entered, grabbed one of our laptops or something else of value in 1 minute, and make a quick getaway without her knowledge. Hell, i lock the apartment even if X is in her room, because that girl could witness an avalanche without batting an eyelid. She's that bother-less, if there is such a word in the first place.

So i rang her mobile. It would be pretty dumb if she had been holing up in some corner of her room and i failed to see her. (We don't say hi to each other when we meet or when we come home. It's that strange with X. She just doesn't care, so i just ignore it.) She answered.

"Yeah?"
"Hey X, it's me, Mag."
"Are you at home?" (A dumb question, but what the hell)
"No, i am in prac now."
"Er...you forgot to lock the apartment before you left."
"Oh."
"Ok, never mind." i hastily said before hanging up abruptly. Believe me, i would have love to yell something rude over the phone, but i was too exhausted with my schoolwork, and it is just typical X's behaviour anyway. Very careless.

Anyhow, she probably didn't want it to happen anyway. Bottomline, nothing is missing, so that's cool. But one thing that bugged me. X never bothered to explain or apologize to me. In fact, she only gave me a flimsy excuse that she probably turned the lock the wrong way, after i smsed her, asking whether she brought her keys out with her, since i maybe out of the house later, and she may get locked out. Plus, later when she came home, she didn't mention anything about it too. I would have been extremely guilty and apologetic. Whatever...

*****
Went to church on Monday. It was a day of obligation, meaning, it was compulsory. Amidst numerous groans, Suba and i rushed to church after my lecture. It was the Feast of the Assumption (wait...maybe it is the Assumption of the Feast). Ok, i am not sure. Too bad. I don't even know what it is about, so i made up my mind to listen extra hard to the preaching priest, to get an idea what that day was about. The priest started his homily (something like a speech), and i caught myself drifiting off, in the first few sentences. Hastily, i dragged myself back to attention, having not forgotten my resolution. I strained my ears to hear what he said. Only heard 2 sentences, and he ended off.

My eyes widened in shock. That has got to be the shortest homily i ever heard in my entire life! It lasted less than 5 minutes! I turned to stare at Suba, and she had the same flabbergasted expression. And mass ended in 40 minutes, a far cry from the usual hour. Amazing. And i thought i sort of knew what the Feast was about, but apparently i was wrong. I heard the gospel, and i thought it was refering to the birth of Mary from Elizabeth (yeah, go aheasd, laugh all you want...), but Suba told me Elizabeth is the cousin of Mary. So i got rather confused.

Ok, i really need to scan through my spanish now. Will update about today's prac soon. It was outrageously hilarious, whilst i was completing it with my lab partners. And more pictures. The convenience of having a camera phone!

For the heck of it...and my stauch reluctance to study

2005-08-16T00:09:00.000+10:00

You scored as Sirius Black. You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times.

Sirius Black

80%

Harry Potter

80%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Severus Snape

70%

Hermione Granger

70%

Remus Lupin

65%

Ginny Weasley

60%

Ron Weasley

60%

Draco Malfoy

45%

Lord Voldemort

20%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Feeling the heat

2005-08-15T23:05:00.000+10:00

The heat is on. I can feel the pressure brewing. Med school is starting to feel busier and busier. I hate to admit this, but i hope i am not drowning in the pile of schoolwork. But this is where i must commend the professors for their sneaky and cunning behaviour of providing very little material for us to study. I guess, so that we can't turn around and wag our accusing fingers into their smug faces, and reproach them for over-burdening us with workloads that are impossible to complete. But under the table, we are expected to do hell a lot of self-study by ourselves. Either that or we are left floundering on our own. Not that i mind the self-study bit. Sadistic as it may sound, it is actually quite fun. But fun has a fine line. Too much, and it becomes trouble.

I also realized that when i study in school now and i have queries or anything like that, and i seek clarification by researching or asking someone, i always get this sentence popping out.
"Insufficient evidence to prove that so and so...." or "Current research is still unable to find out so and so..." or "The mechanism is poorly understood."

It's really strange. Having been spoon-fed with information to all my questions my entire life, it gets a bit weird that now there are no answers. And i have been getting this feeling that our understanding of how the entire human body works, and the interactions between our bodies and both micro and macroscopic environment are rudimentary at the very least. It's like this whole frontier that we have yet to conquer, and heaps more have to be done to improve our health.

Oh, and i read this article today about avian flu. And how the H5N1 strain is the most lethal. I will confess that my understanding of avian flu is the bare minimum, because i simply don't have the patience to pore through medical articles to understand why the WHO is so uptight about it, and the normal newspapers don't elaborate much in detail about how the symptoms spread and all. All this came to an abrupt end today, culminating in a deep sense of fear and foreboding in me that lasted all of 5 minutes before it gradually faded, like most fears which you know do not lie within your control (and so your mind goes into denial as a defensive mechanism. Heh.).

The virus everyone is so hyped up about is the H5N1 strain. It is fatal. So far it is found in birds, which can kill them in days. There are rare, isolated cases of transmission of the virus from the birds to humans. Human to human transmission of this virus is yet to happen, and this is the armageddon everyone is holding their breaths for. Anyway, pigs are the only other animal who is able to get infected by human flu. And recently, they discovered that pigs got infected with bird flu too. Which simply means that, if a pig is infected with both strains (bird and human flu viruses) simultaneously, the different viruses can mutate and exchange genetic material, such that the bird flu virus can infect us and we would be 100% defenceless. I can't remember the exact number they estimated would die is such a pandemic does occur, but i know it was in the million range, large enough to make me draw my breath sharply whilst i was scanning through it in the med library. So there. Now you know too. Don't panic. Haha. :)

Recently, i have also been having this amusing professor to lecture us. He mentioned a couple of funny stuff.

For example, there was this study or research (whatever you call it), where scientists were trying to find out why some people like to exercise whilst others don't. They want to know whether it is genetic. Since you can't perform such experiments on humans, they turn to the other convenient source, the most ~~vulnerable~~ remarkable laboratory mice. Now, you animal activists out there, don't continue to read on and then spam my comment section in rage. I am not the one doing all these experiments, so you can vent your anger elsewhere. You have been warned. Yeah, so anyway, the scientists put these mice in a cage with a treadwheel. Those absolutely noisy things that hamsters absolutely love to run on in the dead of the night.

The researchers found that some mice took to running on the wheel promptly. Others drifted off and settled down. Now, the cage is constructed in a way such that when those mice who refuse to run, sits down, they get zapped by a electric shock or get a jet of hot air blasted into them, attempts to compel the mice to run. And to the researchers immense surprise, some of these mice, would reluctantly get on their lazy asses to run, but some actually continue sitting there. They rather get zapped then run, which was extremely hilarious. People are like that too. Some would work out naturally with no fuss, others would finally work out after much prodding, and yet others who would just die if they have to work out. I am not sure whether they did manage to find a gene responsible for this high inertia to exercise yet; i think it is still in one of those notorious grey areas.

Ok, i need to hit my textbooks again. I have been forced to cut down on my precious sleep, in a feeble bid to conquer at least some of this workload that has been shoved rather uncourteously into my face. Coffee here tastes bitter no matter the number of spoonfuls of sugar you shove into the beverage. So caffeine is not an ally in my battle against the Zzzz monster here. It's maddening.

P/S: Read this article from the Age. It is absolutely hilarious! I admit it. We men are Stupid.

Australian Accent

2005-08-13T23:10:00.000+10:00

I need to do something about my accent. My Singaporean accent.

It is so frustrating. The Australians don't understand me. And i don't understand them.

It is getting to the point where i have to repeat myself a couple of useless times, before i surrender and shut up. I feel so self-conscious about my own pronounciation, i start stumbling when i talk, which frankly, is quite ridiculous. And i absolutely just can't bring myself to switch to the Aussie accent. It is just so not me.

As if being unable to communicate with local classmates ain't enough, i am having trouble understanding patients. When i go on a field visit, which was a couple of days ago, i really couldn't understand this patient i was interviewing. In order not to annoy him or make him feel bad or in anyway worse than the shape he is already in, i had to force this knowing expression on my face, and nodded in cue to his body language. to indicate my comprehension, when i don't. Horrible situation to be in. And the whole time, i hope i wouldn't be caught in the situation whereby i ask him a question only for him to shoot me with this incredulous look, because he just mentioned it a minute ago.

What am i going to do???

P/S: If i sound angry or frustrated, i am not. I am just too darn sleepy. I need to find a solution to my woes, which i assume would come soon. Either that, or i have to add another high priority item to my already crammed to-do list: Listen to the Aussie radio broadcasts for at least an hour a day. Arghh.

Glucose Tolerance Test

2005-08-12T22:56:00.000+10:00

Today, i had one of the nastiest practicals over. Slowly, over the past few days, i have come to realize that med professors are a bunch of sardistic dudes, and i guess, to qualify as a true med student, you have to machoistic. I'm serious.

Today's practical was a glucose tolerance test. It is a test to check the glucose levels you have in your blood, the kind diabetics use to monitor their blood glucose levels closely. Basically, if you have uncontrolled diabetes, too high or too low a blood glucose level can be fatal, especially with the latter.

Firstly, we had to fast. That means i cannot eat or drink any sugary stuff from 10am onwards till we go for the practical, which is at 1pm. As you all should know by now, yours truly have a colossal appetite. Breakfast is light at 8.15am. Lunch, an absolute must, is at 11.15am. But those monsters in charge of us up there decided that we should starve ourselves. Plus, if we must absolutely drink, it can only be pure water, or black coffee. And i don't drink water!! I drink Ribena man, and that's what i packed today as well.

Hence, throughout the entire morning tutorial, i was restraining myself quite forcefully from reaching across the table to grab one of the oh-so-delicious raisin muffins, or the wonderfully delectable danishes or hell, even one of the amazing butter crossaints that one of my classmates brought. But i hate to munch on something and take notes at the same time, because it is just so darn messy and troublesome. By the time i actually got round to heck it, and decide to just grab one of those evil pastries that were beckoning to me, the clock turned 10. How appropriate. So i couldn't eat.

I was hoping i would be able to survive the entire tute without dying of embarassement from my growling stomach, but i was dead wrong. You would have expected me to get use to my lousy streak of luck that has been dogging me for years, by now, but alas no. So anyhow, my stomach started growling. That's fine. I just fidgeted loudly, shifting my papers and files in a bid to conceal the noises. And my stomach growled even louder. There is just so much you can do in shifting your stuff nosily around the table. If you shift around too much, people will soon notice and start to stare. Worse, someone might just ask whether anything is bothering me out, of their kind intentions, which was the last thing i needed at the moment. So i gave up moving my books and files on the table. And i started to fidget in my seat, and tugging my backpack from the ground to my lap. All in my lousy attempts to cover up the sickening rumblings my stomach was bent on emitting. But my stomach was simply set on infuriating me. It just grumbled on and on, each time louder and faster. I panicked. I knew the people sitting beside me, the ones closest to me, the very ones that i didn't want them to hear the embarrassing noises were distracted. If they were not disturbed by my ravenous stomach, they had to be disturbed by my not so subtle erratic movements.

I surrendered. I yanked my bottle of Ribena out of my bag and took a couple of long swigs from it, savouring the sweetness as it ran down my throat like a much-awaited oasis, and finally calming and pacifying my stomach. I was obviously screwed for my experiment, since i broke my fast, and added glucose into my bloodstream. And seeing that, i might as well popped a piece of chewing gum in for good measure. That made my stomach settle down for a while. But in the hour before my prac, when i attended a lecture, it started its tantrum again, the war cries loud and clear. I think Charmaine was rather amused. I daren't look at the postgrad seated on my other side. I rather not know his expression.

I finally survived to the start of my prac without succumbing to anymore edible temptation.

And there, they taught us how to measure our blood glucose levels. We had to prick ourselves just to draw blood, to place it on a little strip with an electrode on one end, so that it can be measured by the electronic glucometer. And it's not once. It's 5 times! Once at the end of our damn fast, and 4 times after we ingested a dextrose (sugar) solution they made for us, plus a urine test. Tell me, are they sadistic or what??

So here's the meter that is used to measured the glucose from the drop of blood we fed it. The strip with the electrode on one end is sticking out at the top.

And this innocent looking thing is not something you should tinker around with. It's a damn finger puncher. I hate it. I remembered getting pricked by it once in primary school, to determine what blood group i was in, and boy, it sure hurt like a bitch. Even after today, after i poked myself 5 times, my opinions remain the same. The tip is the one concealing the needle point. I felt so jittery having to poke myself. I mean, getting someone to prick you is bad enough, but to do it yourself, when you can anticipate the needle puncturing your skin, down to the last millisecond?? That's crazy man. Plus, not to mention the few times, my fingers shook so much, i couldn't hold the thing properly to depress it, so it was like one false start after another. Totally nerve-wrecking.

I pricked on my pointer first, then my middle finger. Initially i wanted to use all 5 fingers on my left hand, but i abruptly changed my mind, when one of my friends warned me that the pinky would hurt like hell. The pointer finger was ok, but the middle one? It brought a strong resurgence of the memory i had in primary school, and my ring finger started feeling tender, so there was no way i was going to prick that. In the end, i sacrificed my pointer and poked it 3 times. The first was a breeze, the second so-so, the third, a bitch. It hurt like f**k. I poked on my thumb and that was my first and last. It didn't hurt, but there was no blood coming either. What is the point of poking and not drawing blood then? There was no way i was going to make an extra hole in my left hand, so i just stood at the table, desperately squeezing my thumb, (till it was compressed to half its size!) before a miserable drop of blood finally came out. Horrible. And not to mention, a try when the glucometer died on me, and there i had with sufficient blood on my pointer, waiting anxiously for the coordinator to re-charge the battery (can you believe it?? Out of the 9 people in my group, it chose to die on me! What the hell.), and finally, having to reluctantly wipe off the blood because it was drying up. And to squeeze another pint out of it. Ok, i am joking, but it sure felt like that.

So, there my fingers, proudly barring the battle scars of today's practical.

When i went to my COSDU (Catholic Overseas Students Down Under) meeting today, one of my friends was asking me in shock what happened. She happens to be a 5th year medical student. When i told her i had to take the glucose tolerance test, this is what she had to say.

"Oh dear, poor you! They suspected you had diabetes is it?"

Me, eyes widening in shock, thinking inwardly, HELL NO! and stuttering,

"No No, i had to do an experiment. To see the effects of insulin and all."

"Oh really? I never had to do it! I only remember the urine one."

Me thinking, Oh great, thanks. I really needed to know that.

The dextrose solution they made us ingest tasted like utter shit. It was horrible. It was all i could do to prevent myself from throwing up. Even thinking about it now, makes me want to heave. It was just plain gross. Had to hold my breath and psyched myself up to think that it is simple some apple juice i was consuming. And talking about juices. 2 days ago, i drank like 1 or 2 cups of apple and mango juice, The next day, i was going to drink the remainder from the carton itself, when i noticed that it looked strangely bloated. Next thing i know, i saw the expiry date screaming into my face. USE BY 28 JUL 05! Uh oh. And i drank so much of it. Strange thing was, i had no diarrhea or stomache, just a few incesseant grumbles that's all. Weird, especially since i have such sensitive digestive system. Some things are better left unknown man.

Anyhow, we plotted a graph of our blood glucose levels. I was rather surprised that despite my failure to fast, my blood glucose level was fairly low. In fact, it was lower than many of the others who fasted, which led me to triumphantly think to myself, "A ha! These crazy professors. Don't they realize different people have different blood glucose needs? People like me need more input!!"

But i got rather nervous when i discovered my graph had the greatest variation in my group. I had the highest glucose peak level after ingestion of the revolting solution, but it dropped to the lowest in the next half hour. That's normal. Insulin will reduce the blood glucose levels by stimulating cells to absorb more of the glucose from the blood. Diabetics lack insulin, and so the glucose remain in their blood for a longer period of time. But i didn't like the fact that i seemed to be exhibiting the greatest peak and drops. It made me nervous, like i was different and had some flaw in my system or something. One of my groupmates even commented that i must have very sensitive insulin mechanism. That didn't make me feel any better. Because what the hell does sensitive insulin mechanism mean anyway?? I clarified with the coordinator that i didn't have a disease that had effects the direct opposite of diabetes, before i was put at ease. She simply echoed the comment left by my prac mate. Thank God. Haha.

Needless to say, the minute my prac ended, and i exited the lab, i attacked the butter crossaint in my bag from this morning's tute (which one of my friends told me to take along for after-prac snack) with much gusto. Crossaints never tasted that good. But i hate it when my meals go haywire. Despite eating a choctop and a bowl of seafood curry laksa for dinner, i still feel hungry. Damn.

PPS: Been watching a couple of movies lately. Layer Cake, a Brit gangster crime thriller is so-so, not too bad. Watched Land of The Dead as well, the worst zombie show i ever watched. No plot, no climax, nothing. Shitty show. And i love zombie shows. This one is just giving the zombie genre a bad name. It left a really bad aftertaste.

The Wedding Crashers was totally uncensored. Tim, Ravind and Mun Ling were enjoying all the crude jokes, and laughing out loud, whilst i was just sitting in my seat, watching a lot of naked women whizzing past on the screen. I have no sense of humour when it comes to nudity. It is just so not funny. In fact, all i can remember from that dumb show and the zombie one, is a pair of boobs, which seriously, is not very nice, especially when i am not even a guy. What the hell. But some of the scenes can really make you cringe and laugh nervously, because they are simply so embarassing!

Watched Crash just now as well. Heard rave reviews from Wenting. It's good, just that i am more than a little sick to hear about racism. I don't know. Just that there was so many things about race, colours and nationalities that it quite simply confounded me. I think the show was mainly trying to tell us that we shouldn't judge things on the surface. The one wrong act someone does, does not mean that his entire character is condemned. It may simply mean that at that point of time, when the particular situation and circumstances arose, the person could not handle the pressure and simply succumbed to it, and thus mismanaging the entire situation. So we shouldn't be too quick to jump to conclusions. It was good that the show managed to skilfully highlight that point to me.

PPS: That Mun Ling gave me hell of a scare this morning. Apparently she wanted to surprise me the minute she touched down in Malaysia, so she decided to call me. But i didn't answer since i was in a tutorial, so she proceeded to call me 6 times! And her number is registered as private, same as my parents. When i saw the 6 missed calls from a private number, i nearly got a heart attack. I thought some emergency had happened at home or something. Phew.

PPPS: Apparently it snowed and hailed in some of the suburbs today. But i saw nothing. In fact, tonight seemed to be one of the warmest nights ever.

Farewell

2005-08-11T21:27:00.000+10:00

Mun Ling is officially leaving tonight. Midnight flight. We had our last dinner together with Tim and Ravind, in Subway, after my Spanish class. It felt quite surreal. Having so many misleading departures, it just felt that she was returning to her friend's place in the suburbs like every other ordinary day. But it was only when we gave each other a rather stiff hug, and she went up the tram, with her hefty lugguage, and the waves we exchanged which lasted longer than usual as the emotionless tram sped off into the distance, did the 3 of us realized she is really not coming back. It's sad. Won't even know when we will meet again. End of this year? 3 years? 6 years after we graduate? When we are married and have kids? Or never at all? So strange. But as Tim put it, life goes on. And on we shall.

Spanish lesson today was definitely much better, though i was late. No excuses, but i was trying to memorize all the spanish vocabulary we were supposed to learn, and i didn't have time, after all Spanish takes the backseat when it comes to med. I have been so busy, and i have got a ton of work to catch up with, and i am not really sure why it always ends up like this. I initially contemplated resuming Judo (don't roll your eyes and go thinking, "She's back at it again!"), and shifting my Spanish class from thursday to monday night, but maybe not. I am just too busy now, and Spanish needs more work than i anticipated. But then again, i tend to always underestimate this kind of stuff don't i? And i am starting to like the Spanish teacher, though she's goes very fast and all, but hey, at least she didn't swear at me in some incomprehensible spanish today. :) And, i also think maybe some of the other students think i am dumb, haha. But this teacher relies heavily on audio teaching, which i think is the case when you learn a language, and i hate audio learning. Everytime she utters a word, i conjure the spelling visually in my mind, but you know it gets pretty exhausting when she mumbles a whole string of words. Plus, her pronounciation is not consistent, so i get pretty confused as i sort through the spellings in my head. So that means, i may have to put in slightly more effort than every other person, but that's fine, i am happy, and that's all that matters. Though i will let on that sometimes i do feel a tad annoyed and frustrated when some over-zealous classmates, or even the teacher herself, put in more than neccessary effort to explain some stuff i seeked to clarify. It's fine if that is the question i ask in the first place. But it's always not. They are just repeating themselves, and worse, repeating stuff than i already know, but i don't want to be rude, so i just sit there absorbing it all. And then they sit back with this self-satisfied smile, as though they have done a great deed in managing to explain some seemingly complicated stuff to a seemingly idiot like me, when it is obviously not the case. But that's fine too, as long as i am in a good mood. Hah.

Ok, i got to get back to my tutorial. It's due tomorrow. Oh yeah, don't you worry about my computer, Sam passed me a Microsoft office disk, so everything is sort of settled now. Thanks for your concern. :) I just have to install all my camera and iTunes program that's all, but it's not that urgent at the moment. Main priority is Biochemistry!!!

Near cardiac arrest

2005-08-10T10:25:00.000+10:00

After an exhausting night of searching for microsoft office, i finally found an alternative. OpenOffice. A free alternative to Microsoft office, and you can view office documents using this application. Only drawback is less fonts, less bullet variations and numbers and all that stuff. But basically it's the same, i can use it. I can type my notes and all. So it's good. Definitely better than being office-less, and having to run to school and stay there till dusk just to use microsoft word to type my notes.

Then this morning, i was intending to print out the map for the hospital i was due to go for a field visit in the afternoon, when my jaw dropped. My printer program was gone. Which meant that i had to re-install it. I inserted the driver into the my external CD-Rom drive and nothing happened. Zilch.

I stared at the screen in confusion, and it dawned upon me. My external CD-Rom drive had to be re-installed as well. Panic clutched me. I was near hysteria, because every other damn driver i need to install requires the bloody CD-Rom drive.

I remembered vividly that Fujitsu out of their dumbness, gave me floopy disks to install my CD-Rom drive, but my laptop is a fucking Tablet. There ain't no floppy disk drives to install it!! So i just sat in my chair in a daze.

Then, i decided to try my luck online. I was hoping these major companies were not so foolish as not to put their drivers online. Thank God for the internet.

I downloaded all the drivers, for my printer and my CD-Rom drive. Presto. All is well...till my next bombshell that is probably lying in wait for me.

Can't study, can't focus, can't do my tutorial. Feeling damn disoriented and unease.

For now, i shall iron my formal clothes to get to the hospital.

More later.

New Vocation in life - Computer hacker. To counter hack those brainless scums

2005-08-09T16:23:00.000+10:00

Shit, my computer kena 4 infected Windows file. Trojans. I hate them.

So mad, had to start recovery disk. Only backed up my important notes. Didn't realize microsoft office is not included as part of the recovery.

So now, i have no microsoft office and can do nothing, when i seem to need to do everything at this juncture.

Don't you just love the people who invented viruses. They make your life so much more colourful.

To the person who invented the Trojan Horse. Fuck you. I hope you are happy i can't resume my studies or my assignments.

May God bless you with both a direct and an indirect inguinal hernia. And may both hernias be non-reducible.

Damn you.

Long disjointed entry ahead

2005-08-09T10:14:00.000+10:00

Too many things to blog. So little time to type. And a laughing hyena (En 2) (she is on a sugar high from her cough drops. can you believe that? Like who the hell gets high on cough drops???) beside me for added distractions. Heh.

I am typing this on my school's mac, in between my lectures. That's how pressed for time i am.

Know how you see someone, and it conjures a vivid image of a character you read it a novel, like a million billion years ago? One of the professor who is lecturing us now, i swear, she looks just like the lead character in Roald Dahl's The Witches. I'm dead serious. She sports long hair (like nearly up to her waist?), and wears rather youngish clothes like short skirts and tight-fitting tops, but by golly, she's pushing 50 man. Looking at her, i can understand why so many women are so fearful of aging. She's like the epitome of aging or something. I am not being mean, but can't you just age gracefully, instead of trying to stop your youth from passing by grasping at it futilely? She looks like she was late for her Botox treatment or something man. Come on, stick to your age, age elegantly. I shudder whenever i think of myself trapped alone in a room with her. Just the mere thought makes my skin crawls and my heart skips a beat. I sure as hell do not want to risk being turned into a mouse! ;)

*****
So i have been like running around recently. Mun Ling, one of my good friends over here in Melbourne, has decided that her happiness doesn't lie here, but in somewhere else, so she's quitting the course (but not medicine altogether). She's leaving tomorrow, or so i think :), so i got to hang out with her more often. God knows when we will meet again, she is not even Singaporean. Looks like i have to make more trips to the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur if we are going to keep in touch.

*****

Thursday i had my science experiment. The Body temperature one. Remember i was supposed to be a subject? Thank God i swapped with another fella. There were actually 2 subjects, one for back-up. But the other subject in my group was sick or something too. Fortunately, i had the brains not to rely on him, but to swap and save my own skin beforehand. Subjects had to dress in singlets and shorts. Initially, i thought of chickening out, since i am a rather conservative dresser. Wanted to trick the coordinators into thinking that i had some religious inhibitions that prevented me from exposing a lot of skin (which is obviously untrue!), but i thought better of it. Decided to stop being such a wimp. In fact, i was already mentally preparing myself, and was on the verge of purchasing a sleeveless top (that's how unliberal i am, i don't even own a top without sleeves. Hah), when Mun Ling decided to drop me a bombshell, right outside the lecture theatre. I was just hanging around the lectre theatre with my clique, when that girl rushed out and started hollering about details of the experiment.

Someone else had taken the experiment before, and apparently she got hold of the details. She started shrieking, saying that the subject had to roll his/her shirt right up to under te boobs, so as to attach some heart rate monitor thing. Which means plainly that more skin than anticipated, will be shown to the whole world. I gulped silently and stared at her, trying not to let my unease show through my cool exterior. I saw En En and Erfana's eyes bulging in disbelief, and their jaw slackening even more. They were as shocked as me. But they were not the subjects!

Despite our obvious (or my hopefully not so obvious discomfort), Mun Ling started elaborating rather animatedly about her own perception of the experiment.

"You have to attach the monitor under the boobs. I think they will attach it for you! But what if people have saggy boobs?? Then do they have to lift the boobs up to attach the monitor?! Yikes!!" she screeched.

Our eyes narrowed as we stared at her.

"Firstly, none of us here have saggy boobs, so that is nothing to worry about." I replied rather evenly.

"Secondly, i am making sure no one is touching me. So there." I added.

Actually, i have already made up my mind that i wasn't going to be nobody's guinea pig. Plus, i was still sick. So wearing so little layers in the lab, will definitely worsen my cough. So that's how i decided to swap. And swap i did.

Mun Ling was right about the monitor thing. I wasn't so sure about the saggy boobs part. Didn't see any subjects with such an anatomy.

The guy i swapped with, was then drapped in 3 thick blankets to raise his body temperature. We were investigating how the body will react to a rise in core temperature, and how it carries out its thermoregulatory mechanisms.

The coordinators were demonstrating to us how to use a Douglas Bag. It is a bag with a long tube that the subject has to insert entirely into his mouth (an added reason why i was so relieved when i swapped) and breathe in and out of it. It was used to measure the amount of carbon dioxide and oxygen and all that crap. It looked complicated using it. Frankly, i didn't want to be the one in charge of operating it. Neither did the rest apparently.

So when the coordinators came over to my group to asked who wanted to operate the Douglas Bag, everyone tried to look busy, and probably hoped that they wouldn't get picked. I hate this kind of situation. Because it is so uncertain, and you wonder whether your luck will hold out or not? I hate the apprehension. So know what i did to cut it short? I volunteered. Yeah, i am crazy. I volunteered for that thing. How strange humans are. I didn't want to operate the damn thing, but i volunteered with it because i couldn't stand the suspense. But it wasn't that bad after all. Haha.

But when we removed the tube from the guy's mouth, a whole puddle of saliva just flowed out. We were all so stunned, but we didn't let our repulsion show on our faces. Duh. We are going to be doctors after all, and we have to be professional about it. Apparently he couldn't swallow when he was breathing through the tube, so his salive accumulated whilst he breathed through the tube for 5 minutes. He had to repeat the procedure like 5 times. Poor guy. A third major reason why i thank the Lord profusely that i was able to get him to swap with me. Haha. Below are a few pictures of him being drapped under the layers of thermal blankets.

The ~~poor~~ subject

See the bin of water? Yeah, he also had to immersed his legs all the way up to his knees into a bin of 42 degree celcius (if i remembered correctly) water to further increase his core temperature

On of my group members adjusting the blankets. The huge red blanket is a space blanket. And see the computer? The subject was attached to the computer to check his body temperature. The experiment has to be terminated immediately if the subject's body temperature flunctuates by 1 degree celcius.

*****
I also had my first Spanish lesson on Thursday. We were running a little late, because we couldn't find the correct classroom. So when Erfana and i trotted into the classroom a mere 5 minutes later than usual, and i muttering an apology to the teacher, the teacher launched into her tirade about punctuality. Or so i think. Because she was lecturing me in Spanish. And all i heard was this.

"Blah blah blah blah 6.15pm, blah blah blah blah blah 8.15pm!!"

I assumed she was talking about punctuality since i heard the times of the lesson. It was highly amusing. And she knew it. She was lecturing us in mock anger. I think she was testing us to see how we responded after hearing the language for the first time. Needless to say, i was completely cracked up and entertained.

We progressed on into our lesson. Everything was going fine till these 3 female students, friends apparently, trudged in late and without their textbooks. I had to lend them mine and shared Erfana's. That was fine, until the teacher started whizzing through the lesson. Apparently, it was difficult to be able to learn simple Spanish in 12 lessons, so she was hurrying through everything. From pronounciation and some basic grammar. In my haste to copy down what she was rattling off, and to write down how she articulated each particular vowel, i got lost. And i got really mad. I wasn't made at the teacher. I was fuming at the 3 fucking students who borrowed my book. If i had my book, i could annotate it easily, and listened at the same time, without getting lost. I couldn't do so, since it was Erfana's textbook that i was using. I was really angry. Those fuckers made the most noise in class, and bootlick the teacher (just like typical Singaporeans), but they fail to bring the most important material to class, and created such a huge inconvenience for me. Even thinking about it now, a good 5 days later, my temper still rise uncontrollably. Assholes. My entire lesson was screwed. I switched off.

So when the teacher picked on me to recite how to pronounce the number 25, i stared at her stonily. I was raging. I think she must have realized something was amiss, because she left me alone after that.

Now, i am suppose to know how to say the numbers 1-40, all the alphabets and the names of a great many clothes and colours by next lesson, and i don't even know whether i got some of the pronounciation right. This is infuriarting. Those bitches had better get their paths straight next lesson. Cross mine, and i am not going to be very nice about it.

*****
Friday i attended COSDU (Catholic Overseas Students Down Under). It is a session where we could mingle around. Anyhow last session was an ice breaking session for the newcomers who joined us this semester. Suba and i initially wanted to sneak out, because i had a lot of anatomy to cover, and i didn't have time to waste. But everyone sort of noticed us, so we had to choice but to stick around. And i was glad we did.

We played 2 ice breakers - speed dating and some polar bear game. It was fun. Speed dating is not the conventional way we know it. It is more like we were given a question, and as we rotate, we had to ask our partners this question and know more about them in 2 minutes, before we switched again. To my immense surprise, i disvcovered a couple of people who shared similar interests with me. There was Danny, who is trained in Taekwondo, and who participated in competitions, and recently tried his hand out in Kung Fu (which i was contemplating. Note the term "was" Heh). There was Willard who was a fellow Man U fan, and who played mixed soccer with Amelia, a fellow soccer fanatic. In fact, they were going to play an intra state, inter college social soccer tournament the next day. And i could have joined if he had known i was interested in soccer, and i knew about the tournament. Drats. But now we know, so i am hoping i get to play more soccer in the future. And most amazing thing of all, i met Nic, who was a former Judoka, and who knew my former coach, because he was from the school my former coach was teaching. It was incredible. Gosh, it was amazing.

Also i want to add that, in COSDU, it is also the only place so far, that i feel most at home, feel most comfortable with. Maybe it's because i found people of similar interest. Maybe it's because we hail from the same region back home. I don't know. But i am liking it there.

Ok, i need to go grab a bite now. Was too lazy to eat a proper dinner last night and had a light breakfast. Will update more about Saturday and Sunday soon.

P/S: I resumed my gym last night after my bout of cough finally subsided. I was thinking was running 3km, and walking the next 3km, but i got so hyped up whilst running, that i continued, and ran 5km. It was refreshing! Then, i went back and did 60 sit-ups just to ensure my sit up bar ain't here for nothing. And guess what? I am not aching at all today!!! So yay, shall do more sit-ups, and continue my run.

PPS: En En has got my virus now, and i think Erfana too. Haha. After days of gloating at me, En En wasn't spared. She tried to cough at me yesterday, but i merely waved her away much to her mock chagrin because she knew it was useless. My antibodies took 2 weeks to produce. I am not falling sick so easily. Haha.

Feelings

2005-08-06T12:00:00.000+10:00

Feeling like this...

Going to do this....

Thank Anatomy.
And Getty Images.

Jeans for Genes

2005-08-06T10:39:00.000+10:00

By the way, yesterday was Jeans for Genes day in Australia. Bascially you wear jeans for a good cause, and of course donate some moo-lah. The money don't just roll out of your denims you know?

A couple of fellow med students showed us a slideshow where kids were borned with congenital defects. It was really sad. There was a kid who was born (and he actually survived) with fetal alcohol syndrome. I didn't know they survive. It was both horrifying and saddening.

Anyhow, donate if you can. A gold coin. It doesn't mean much, but it sure helps. If you haven't been doing any good for a long time, maybe you should do just this once. And you don't even need to put in much effort. Just a couple of mouse clicks is all that is needed.

I was thinking of getting this soft toy. My friend, En En was mentioning how she would squashed her teddy bear into her suitcases whenever she goes travelling. That sounds really cool man. It got me thinking, maybe i should get a travelling companion too. It would so cool that a soft toy trots across the globe with you! I have been searching for one but to no avail. Then i saw this. It is really nice! It looks soft, not too hard so it is not nice to hold, and not too kiddy, so that i will be shy to show it. Haha. Plus, the money will go for a good cause too. Seriously contemplating this. Going to wait a couple more days to see if they will be coming up with other mechandise too.

Glitterbug

2005-08-06T10:20:00.000+10:00

I am nearly bursting to the seams of the events that occurred the past couple of days, but alas, anatomy lecture rules the day. The above picture is a Glitterbug handwash. During one of my tutorials, we were taught how to watch our hands and thoroughly cleanse them of bacteria. One of my professors stressed the fact that it is not correct to say, sterilize our hands, because to do that, we have to boil our hands, which is obviously not a feasible alternative, unless you have a deathwish, or you are desperately in need of money, say in the range of 20 billion dollars?? US currency.

Anyhow, we were had this cream smeared and thoroughly rubbed into our hands. How it works is that, you will be able to see the stain under UV light if you never watch your hands correctly. We tried the normal method, the method we normally use, after we visit the lavatory. Here comes the shocker. I know i scrub my hands properly with soap, but there were obvious stains on every part of my hand, which is crazy.

The correct method involves scrubbing the back of your fingers, interlacing them, scrubbing the tips of your nails, and your thumbs. And then run them under tap water, with your fingers pointing upwards against the stream of the tap. Apparently, this helps wash off any dirt off your wrists if you forget. I didn't try the correct method, because of a lack of time. 2 volunteers did. They came out only slightly better. Very slightly only. It was a very strong case of what the hell??

Anyhow, my tutor who is a GP, did admit that most doctors (especially senior ones who tend to discard the good habits they learn in med school) including her, fail to wash their hands after every patient. Patients can actually complain. I raised the point that washing so often (i mean if you are working in a hospital, you will see what? Close to 30 patients minimum? Wouldn't that translate to washing 30 times?) would actually dry out the skin, and that would be detrimental. Again, she dropped another bombshell. Surgeons are apparently very prone to contact dermatitis (a skin condition) because they scrubbed so often.

The thing that leaves me scratching my head is, no one says anything about this? I mean everyone is concern preventing the spread of infection to the patients, but no one spares a thought for the doctors? How strange. Maybe they should start inventing a handwash that doesn't dry the skin out. Maybe more doctors, especially female ones, will be more than willing to scrub more often. Heh.

P/S: Check this out man. People are getting increasingly lazier! They think that it is too much a hassle to throw tennis balls for their dogs to fetch, so they invent a tennis ball throwing machine. Like what the?? Don't they realize that the game of fetch is not just the exercise sorely needed, but the quality time spent with their dogs? Playing with them and all? Jeez. Wonder why this people have dogs in the first place. GoDoGo - The Automatic Fetch Machine

Tutor talk

2005-08-03T21:24:00.000+10:00

I went for my first ICM (Introduction to Clinical Medicine) tutorial today. And got picked on by my tutor THRICE in 2 hours.

Before i start ranting, i noticed one thing. I think the University is splitting up all the international students and mixing us thoroughly with the locals. I must say they are doing a pretty good job BECAUSE i am the only international student in my ICM class of 10, and one of only 2 international students of a class of 10 in my PBL (Patient based learning) tutorial.

I am fine with it. That's great, less segregation, if we can even communicate in the first place! When i speak, the locals can't understand me, because of my Singaporean accent. And i can't bring myself to switch to the Aussie accent (if i can in the first place), because i feel like a damn fake, like i am trying to be very ang moh-ish, and i think it will come out funny, since i don't even know what is their accent like. And when they speak, i don't get it too. And i tend to nod or smile to indicate that i understand, when in actual fact, i don't. Just like them. It's funny, but it can get pretty awkward.

Anyhow, i was early for tutorial today. I seem to be getting into my lectures and tutorials early this couple of days. I got to stop this nasty habit. I. Am. Not. A. Nerd. Back to the point.

Before i entered the classroom, i saw this tall lanky guy hanging around outside. I recognized him. I know him. He's in the same tutorial as me. I made a beeline into the classroom without saying anything. I am not being mean. You will get what i mean.

So, he came in soon after. We made conversation. Or at least i tried to. As in, he was pretty much mumbling to himself and guffawing at his own incoherent jokes. I smiled politely, and groaned inwardly.

The tutor came in. A tall, bright, chirpy lady from the UK, just shifted here. Very friendly, very nice. Best of all, i understand what she's saying. When it comes to accents, the British one bowls me over hands down. I swear, i don't have any idea what they are saying. At least with the Aussies, i can get a hint or two from some of the words that manage to drift my way. With the British accent? Hell no. Never. Anyhow, her accent wasn't very heavy, so i could understand her perfectly.

The other students started streaming in one by one. Locals, ABCs (Australian Born Chinese) etc etc. I noticed something. You know how it is when we Asians are always lamenting about our lack of heights compared to our Western counterparts? Well, here's the funny bit. I was taller than all the other 3 girls. And i don't mean, taller by 1 or 2cm. I mean, i was clearly taller. That got me quite bewildered, but not for long. Oh, you need not talk about the guys. The Caucasian guys, they are definitely taller. But the Asian guys? Bleh. They are not much taller.

Ok, so we had ice-breakers and all, introducing ourselves and the usual.

We started lesson proper.

I flipped open my text. And the tutor started explaining and asking questions. The guy, the mumbling one? Let's give him a name. G. Anyway, i was sitting beside G. And the way he was behaving? I wanted to dig a damn hole in the ground and bury myself in it, because i was embarassed for him. He was acting as though he was having a private conversation with the tutor. Emitting sounds like, Hmmm, yeah, Yes, whenever the tutor made i point. I really had to keep myself from rolling my eyes or raising my eyebrows too obviously. So i got distracted. I realized the tutor asked a question, and everyone around the table chipped in their opinions. Except for me. It was that obvious.

It wasn't because i didn't want to say anything. Just that i didn't complete the readings i was assigned to beforehand, so i have no idea what to say, and i was plain repulsed by G. I guess that upped my popularity with the tutor by a notch.

Progress a couple of minutes more into the lesson. I was bored. I twirled my pen, of course, being as discreet as possible. And i was trying to persuade myself to be more tolerant of the repulsion of G that was growing in me, and to be nice about it. Then,

"So Mag, what do you think?"

I froze.

What?!

Did she say something? Shit.

I looked at her smiling at me, and before i could stop myself, i had this guilty look on my face. The all too famous looks students give to their teachers when they are caught red-handed doing something they aren't suppose to. I realized that freaking look was on my face, and tried to change it as fast as possible. Too late. She saw it. Great. I haven't felt like this since i was in secondary school.

She was waiting for an answer, and i had none, because i don't know the question in the first place. And i couldn't nudge the person on my right to give me a hand, because i was sitting right in front of her. Wonderful.

She noticed. She is a GP for christ sake. She is as observant as we are training to be. So,

"What do you think? How will you start if you have to take a dietary history from a patient?"

Praise the Almighty Lord. She threw me a lifeline. She repeated the question.

But i still didn't know the answer. Not because i didn't know. It's just that i wouldn't ask the patient his or her dietary history when i first meet them. No way. I will ask about their social history first to build a rapport. But how do you articulate all this stuff that was whizzing through my brain, in a short sweet sentence? I couldn't. So i went,

"Er...i have no idea."

Instantly, i could feel the eyes of all the other med students seated in the room, trained on me. Shit. I could feel them thinking.

"What? She doesn't know? How can she not know?! She is going to be a doctor!"

Without a second too slow, the other med students let out a whole string of what they would have said to the patient, their brilliance shining through. I cursed. And cursed more. Inwardly. Fuck. Now the tutor is going to think i am dumb.

Then, i started consoling myself. It's ok, at least i had the courage to admit i didn't know! Doctors are suppose to possess courage. Right. That helps.

So i bucked up, and paid more attention.

Then, we had to measure some waist to hip ratio thing. I didn't want anybody measuring me, and i sure as hell don't want to measure anyone. So i played my game. The one i was really good at. Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. I followed the other students who too didn't want to have a part in the measurements, in keeping quiet, and not look like we want to have a part in it. G started waving, and volunteered his service. Fuck. Just my luck to sit beside him. Attracting all this unwanted limelight. I thought all was settled, then,

"Mag, why not you do the measurements?"

Instantly, i felt my heart skipped a beat.

What the fuck?? Me again? What did i do this time??

Thankfully, another lifeline. Before i could react, the girl opposite me stood up and enthusiastically volunteered herself. Thank God for enthusiastic classmates. I was saved a second time.

Fast forward towards the end of the lesson. Home free! Like real.

Everyone was talking and all. Including me. I was approaching this guy. Let's call him Mr Cool Guy. No, i am not hitting on him. And no, he is not cool at all. He thinks he is, but according to Mun Ling, he is an outcast. Whatever. He happened to be in my disgusting practical tomorrow, and i didn't want to be the subject of the experiment. I was looking for a swap. Then, i heard my name, the third freaking time.

"Mag.." the tutor spoke and gestured that she was talking.

Great, so now i am disturbing the class?? I made a apologetic hand signal, and turned my attention to her. She continued. Out of the corner of my eye, i spied the students behind me chatting. She didn't tell them to shush.

??

That's it man. I haven't been shitted on by a teacher for a long time. And i am no longer used to it. This one had better not think i am the right spot to shit in.

I was thinking about it as i got home, and i realized why she was (as Jennifer would aptly put it) taking the piss at me.

During our introductory ice breakers, i let out the fact that i was a Manchester United fan. And hell, she heard that, and said that her whole family are stauch supporters of Liverpool.

Look of horror crossed my face. I forgot she was from UK.

She said, "I think Manchester United and Liverpool are rivals right?"

I nodded mutely.

That must be it. She's picking on me because i am a Manchester United fan.

I will show her what a Man U fan is made of. Hah.

Doctor chat

2005-08-01T21:41:00.000+10:00

I finally dragged my sorry ass to the doctor today for a consultation. My cough ain't getting any better; my cough mixture has been emptied, and each passing moment i'm more and more convinced my lungs would fall out soon.

Thankfully, i didn't have to make an appointment, which you normally have to, and it will be scheduled several days later, which baffles me, up till now, since i don't see the point. If you finally make the decision to see a doctor, wouldn't it be immediately before your condition kills you?

Anyhow, i was in for a lucky break. There was only one other person waiting. After i was slotted into the queue, 4 other patients came in. Thank God i wasn't a second later. Whilst waiting, i was trying to preoccupy myself with my magazine, but the chesty coughs i heard emanating from a woman across me, and the occassional loud clearing of the throat emitted from another guy opposite me wasn't helping. After hearing the woman coughed, i realized that my cough was actually quite inferior. And i really shouldn't be in the clinic at all. These people really needed to see the doctor, badly. Like how the hell you allow yourself to cough so much and so hard before you finally decide to pop by the doctor's? Don't you know it's bad for your health???

But i am not surprised, after the photos one of my professors showed us, of patients and their conditions, during a lecture. Humans are capable of hurting themselves badly. Their creative juices never ease up when it comes to injuries. And some will simply let it deterioriate to the point their tolerance end before seeking medical help. And boy, some of them do have really high tolerance levels, a quality not very feasible in their cases. This woman finally see the doctor, when all her guts spilled out through a hole in her abdominal wall, making her look like she's pregnant. Except that instead of a foetus, it's her guts. Horrible hernia. I was green after that.

Now, whilst i was sitting there, my coughs miraculously stopped. I felt very well. No tickling of the throat, no hacking coughs to rack my chest. I was fit as a fiddle. Will the doctor even believe i am sick?? This always happens. Whenever i am waiting to see the doctor, my condition will miraculously heal on its own, till after the doctors. It's really strange you know?

Anyhow, after doing all the necessary procedures, of hearing my lungs through his stethoscope, and requesting that i open my mouth for him to inspect the back of my throat and he feeling for the lymph nodes in my neck (which Jennifer unsuccessfully tried to teach me yesterday over AIM, an equivalent of MSN messenger), he sat back in his chair, and i sat back in mine, all the while staring at him.

I must have looked very expectant and hopeful.

Doctor: Your lungs are clear. I think you probably got a virus, but it is now clearing up.

Me: Erm...so how do i clear this cough?

Doctor: There's nothing much you can do. It is a virus not a bacteria, so antibiotics wouldn't work. Cough mixtures can help alleviate the symptoms, and help you produce some phlegm. It will disappear it a week or two. Drink plenty of water, and pop a Vitamin C. It helps.

After his long explanation, which really was a mouthful, i clarified in one simple sentence.

Me: So, there is no medicine i can take. I just sit this out.

Doctor: (looking very apologetic and almost apologizing which was very funny) Yeah, i guess. I am really...

Me: (Not wanting to make things difficult) Ok, sure.

Secretly i was relieved i didn't need to purchase more meds which would have definitely bust a hole in my pocket. But on the other hand, i was a teeny bit disappointed that this damn cough couldn't be gotten rid of. But i guess that is the privilege you have when you are not too sick to warrant medication, but not too fit to enjoy life to the max either.

Here the pictures for comparison between the chocolates sold in Max Brenner and those sold in KoKo Black.

This was the cup fitted with a candle, used to make your own hot chocolate. They provide the milk. They can actually make it for you too, but we choose the former since we thought it would be more interesting.

The white chocolates for the drink

The completed drink...brewed by yours truly.

The spoon provided to scoop the chocolates. But look carefully, it is actually a straw too!

The chocolate Soffle

Waffle with chocolate and strawberries

The strawberry and white chocolate drink that Mun Ling had.

Everyone ate very neatly, save for Mun Ling and i. Look at the mess we left on our plates. And we were not even ravenous...

Now for KoKo Black!

Not to be outdo by the amusing invention of straw cum spoon, they came up with their own unique fork. Look closely, nope it's not dented or broken off!

The hot chocolate i have. It was delicious as much as it was beautiful. As you can see, they pay as much attention to detail, making them more elegant, and of course, more costly.

The ice chocolate that Ravind had.

The Belgian Spoil that Tim and Ravind had. It is a small helping of everything, from cake to ice-cream.

The Chocolate Moeulleux that Mun Ling and i had. It was outrageous.

The fork we stuck into the Moeulleux, in anticipation of the delectable chocolate hidden inside.

The yummy chocolate. It was hot so it oozed out. It is similar to Max Brenner's Soffle, but Max's one doesn't ooz out as it is not hot.

This is Polly Pub, a pub Mun Ling and i love. Not sure if you can view the photos clearly, since it was obviously very dark.

I didn't drink any alcohol since i was coughing madly. I know it was very "potong steam" (wet blanket) as Mun Ling calls it (but she understands), but it wasn't as if i wanted it. They mix the best cocktails ever. Tim can vouch for that. I only hope we will go pubbing even after Mun Ling leave, even though it's different...

Mun Ling and Tim

Sam and Ravind

Our spread of drinks. See the coke, the lousy drink i was entitled to.

Oh yeah, guess what? I can safely say i am not an alcoholic. Don't laugh. My mum is totally worried that i have evolved into a drink and that i am addicted to alcohol. So in the few other occassions when my friends were drinking alcohol, i decide to drink juice. One was to test myself, and my discipline, and second to prove a point to my mother. So yes. I am effectively not an alcoholic.

P/S: Was flipping through The Age newspaper, when i read this article where Police are appealing to missing people, who deliberately ran away to at least drop an e-mail to their family members so that they know the runaways are safe. But can the Police track where these people are through the e-mails? Don't go missing: Send e-mail from The Age.

PPS: Received an e-mail from World Vision, a charitable organization about this kid heading to Singapore for an operation. She was born with a congenital defect, a condition called Ano-Rectal Malformation, where she defecates through her vagina or genitals instead of the anus. They are appealing for donations. Mongolian girl in Singapore to seek treatment from World Vision.

Choc K VS Choc M

2005-07-30T22:32:00.000+10:00

My voice is but a hoarse, almost inaudible rasp. My throat no longer aches. But the coughs that rack my chest threatens to uproot my lungs. Well done. I have been thinking. I think my symptoms have been misleading me all along. I was never going to get the flu. The sore throat wasn't the normal starting sign. I think i got it because i coughed so hard, it turned my throat raw. And now, it threatens to triumph over my voice box as well. I wonder how long i can keep this up. I am drinking cough mixture like water, and it doesn't seem to help. I am spending precious time to make honey tea with lemon, which Wenting graciously made for me this afternoon. But it ain't helping my throat either. I was forced to eat Subway for dinner, because it is the healthiest food i can think of, besides my usual cereal or fried Asian food. Damn. Double damn. I hope my luck holds out. What if i get the Whooping Cough???? In chinese, it's called 百日咳 (hundred day cough) and for a damn good reason. It means i will be coughing my lungs out for close to three months, before i finally stop. Which means, i will be coughing all the way home. Well done. Shit. Double shit. I have to seek the help of a doctor if my lousy immune system doesn't kickstart its engine soon.

The cup of steaming hot tea with the huge slice of lemon. I felt like i was drinking honey soup. Gosh, all these alternative self-medication is really creating a gaping big hole in my pocket. If i don't die of these coughs, i will sooner die of a cardiac arrest at the rate my money is depleting.

I was in a surf shop buying the jacket which i mentioned yesterday, when i couldn't help hearing the converation flowing between the 2 salesgirls, which i was trying not to eavesdrop upon. Alas, the control of your hearing has not evolved to an extent that we can switch them off as and when we like.

Salesgirl A: If this pain continues, i will have to see a doctor.

Salesgirl B: When i go and see a doctor, i always feel this need to have the world's craziest disease, if not i wouldn't dare go to the doctor.

Salesgirl A: Exactly, me too!

At this point, i was looking away, then i saw the 2 salesgirls looking at me.

Salesgirl A: I know we sound crazy. We just spend too much time with each other.

Salesgirl B: (Laughs) You should run when you can, we are crazy!

I couldn't stop grinning, but they had a point. When i go to a doctor, sometimes, i actually wished that my condition ain't so mild, in case the doctor gets bored and thinks i am wasting his or her time, and that would be very embarassing. Which is really strange, since you actually should want to get better. But now as a medical student, i know that doctors who really think in such a sick manner; they are not that professional at all. And since they are not that professional, they do not need the respect the patients should show them, and the patients also need not bother about their darn opinions.

*****
Went to Max Brenner for chocolates yesterday with Mun Ling. Don't scream. I know. I deserve it. I am destroying my own throat and sending it straight to hell. But Mun Ling is leaving soon, and i don't even know when i am going to meet her again, so i am willing to do ingest a mere amount of chocolate with her. A good many couple of days ago, i also ate at KoKo Black with Tim, Ravind, Mun Ling. So i can now give you a good comparison, and which is a greater value for money.

KoKo Black is much more expensive, but the ambience is better, and it is not as crowded (not because it is lousy!). Max Brenner also has a larger variety.

But KoKo Black serve their food steaming hot. They don't mass produce the chocolate moieties you order. They cook it on the spot so they are fresh. Max Brenner is different. It is not hot, but you get to try many fun but messy stuff. Like making your own hot chocolate, where they provide the chocolate, milk and a small candle to let you melt your chocolate.

In other words, KoKo Black is more posh and elegant. If you are on a date, or you have money to burn, go there. If you just want a nice relaxing place to chill out with your friends, do stupid things, and make a mess, go Max Brenner. The quality of the chocolates at both places are superior, they do not lost out to the other. So both places are equally good to visit whenever you have a sweet craving.

(I am going to stab myself or something. Was in the middle of Zoto to get the html tags for my photos, when i got kicked out because they started their upgrading work. Damn it. Tough luck for you guys, will post them up tomorrow.)

*****
Came home at 5.30am this morning, from Tim and Ravind's place. We hung out at Polly Pub until 3am, when they closed. There was a bouncer standing at the entrance, and seriously, of all the pubs i have been to, this is the first time i got so 'up close and personal' with a bouncer. Haha. Never seen a bouncer in the flesh before, and they aren't as beefy as i make them out to me, which i think made me a little crestfallen! He let the guys in without any problems, but when it came to 3 of us girls (Mun Ling, Erfana and I), he raised an eyebrow and threw us quizzical looks when he saw our identity cards say we were born in 1985. Not sure what was his problem too. I think maybe we look younger than our real ages. We get a lot of that when we are here. In fact, compared to the locals, we always look younger, when we are actually older. I think it is the make-up. Anyhow, we were more than a little startled that they close so early on a friday night. Mun Ling, i think, was especially disappointed, since it was like a semi-farewell party for her. But not to fret, we headed over to Tim's place after that.

We sat around and chatted, or actually, they sat around and chatted, whilst i attempt to be at least semi-conscious. These people are serious night hawks. They can pull all nighters as and when they feel like it. Me? No way. I felt like dying. My eyelids weren't of my control at all. I am simply not a noturnal person. Never was and never will be.

I woke up at 8.30am, and drifted in and out of my sleep till 10.30am, before i decided to get out of bed once and for all. I would have liked to snooze for a longer time, but my coughs had a mind of their own, plus i was near hysteria when i thought i lost my voice for good. It was reduced to a rasp. And i have to conserve my voice for my mother's phonecalls (she will freak if she discovers i lose my voice. Knowing her, she probably think i am on the verge of death or something), and for my tutorial on Monday. Shucks.

Oh, and i must mention about an incident that didn't exactly happen to me when we went MacDonald's for supper, after a movie. Mun Ling and i were sitting downstairs waiting for burger when we saw these two people (a young couple, i assume) walking from table to table, asking for spare change. The guy approached us, or more specifically, Mun Ling. I just pretended to look dumb and look at my burger. Mun Ling didn't really get what he was saying, and i mouthed to her to just say No, which she did. He left. I never give spare change to people ever since the tram incident i had. Anyway, the guy disappeared upstairs, presumably to hound patrons on the second level. The gal approached every other table but ours.

One thing i noticed. If you are Asian, and you pretend to look dumb, most of this people wouldn't disturb you because they simply assume you are an idiot and do not know English. Which is good for us, and bad at the same time. But let's not be philosophical about this. Practicality is more important.

When Mun Ling got her burger, we walked upstairs to join the rest (Sam, Tim, Ravind and Erfana). Midway on the steps, Sam rushed down the stairs. We looked at each other, shrugged and continued our way. At the table, Tim, Ravind and Erfana were stony. Something was amiss. We dredged the truth out of them. Apparently, the guy had hassled them as well. Erfana decided to give him AUD$5, which he took. And as if that wasn't enough, he stretched out his black filthy fingers (according to Sam) towards Tim to ask for more money, and i think Tim got rather revolted. That guy then proceeded to take the pack of large fries on the table and Ravind's cigarettes before leaving. The 4 of them were aghast and in shock. Sam then promptly disappeared downstairs to notify the MacDonald's staff about what just happened, but they merely shook their hands apologetically and compensated us with another large pack of fries.

I wasn't really shocked. When you give this people money, they become greedier and more daring. I learnt that lesson once. And once is enough. Heh.

We went to watch The Island. I don't how to tell you all this, but it was FANTABULOUS! It is amazing, i will be surprise if it doesn't become a Box Office Hit. It is impressive. The director was able to weave strong ethical controversial issues into a heart-thumping plot. Outrageous. All i can say is, if you don't watch it, it's your damn loss. Another thing. I never thought Scarlett Johansson was pretty or hot or anything when i watched Lost in Translation. After this show, i completely revise my opinion. Ewan McGregor sizzled the screen as well. Great show.

I'm feeling loved!

2005-07-29T19:20:00.000+10:00

No, i didn't just meet the guy of my dreams. And you people can stop cringing from my unusual show of affection. Heh.

I just received 2 letters, 1 unexpected, from 2 of my greatest friends, Kah Ming and Hiu Man. Was overjoyed reading their letters, and feeling the unexpected wave of instant happiness wash over me. Plus, Hiu Man sent me 8 gorgeous (and i mean, suave, handsome and worth drooling over!) high quality photos of David Beckham! So i am feeling extra loved.

And then i came onto my blog, and i saw so many people who had left their comments, showing that they cared, i was over the moon.

Not forgetting, i just came back from some retail therapy, purchasing a sleek, smart-looking, formal brown jacket for my field visits to hospitals, and a casual jacket that looks like a suit. I always love suits, but could never find one which is casual enough or feminine enough. And today, i saw 1! And my kind of style, and female cuttings!! So it ain't musculine. Very punker chic. Hah.

I am in seventh heaven.

Thanks guys! *Blows kisses*

P/S: Was reading about Lance Armstrong. What can i say? That guy is simply amazing. The Science of Lance Armstrong: Born, and Built, to win from National Geographic.

PPS: Will update more tomorrow. Really busy now, as i am supposed to catch a movie and go to the pub with Mun Ling and gang. More photos tomorrow, and not forgetting to tell you all about an experiment which i was unfortunately selected to be a subject for, that has bizzare and shocking procedures. And i mean shocking.

November...

2005-07-28T19:18:00.000+10:00

Had a dream last night.

Have you ever had dreams when you are fully aware of yourself in the dream, and you are capable of thinking thoughts that you would normally do in reality, but at the same time, you didn't know it was a dream you were in at that point of time?

Well, i did.

I was doing something, when suddenly in my dream, i was missing my dogs. And i distinctly remembered thinking to myself that i would be able to see them as soon i finish up whatever i was doing, and go home in a few hours time.

And then i woke up.

And then it hit me that it was only a dream.

And i started thinking when i could see my dogs again. And i realized that, that would only come in mid-November.

For the first time, i realized November is a long time away. A very long time away. A dreadfully long time. What the hell, what am i going to do if i start missing my dogs so early on in the semester. This is even worse than last semester!

And then i was wishing i spent more time with them. But it really isn't possible, because when i was back in Singapore, i was constantly reminding myself to spend more time with my dogs. In fact, i devoted the majority of my time to them.

But i guess no matter how much you spend with someone or something or some animals you really love, it is never enough. Never enough. It is just the way it is.

Simple and brutal.

And i can't forget Randy's behaviour on the day i left. He refused to sleep or rest the whole day, but chose to follow me quietly and solemnly wherever i go as i busied myself, packing my lugguage. Of course i noticed him, and i also know he knew what was coming up, and he wanted to stick with me. And of course, i knew that i should spend even more time with him, which i did. But like i say, it's never enough.

Why?? Can someone explain this to me? Maybe it is just one of those questions which no one has an answer to, because no matter how much you spend time with something you hold dearly, it is never sufficient.

The P-Word

2005-07-28T18:50:00.000+10:00

2 days ago, i was in a Biochemistry lecture, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye, i spied this guy walking up the steps. I assure you that there was a significant number of people walking up, but what prompted me to notice this guy, was his dark hair, and the atmosphere that he was emanating around him. I looked at him, and only one person came to mind. Professor Snape. Yes, i am not imagining stuff up here. There was indeed a Professor Snape in the lecture with us. I tugged at the sleeves of the most unfortunate Charmaine, who was sitting beside me, and told her to have a look, because i wanted a second opinion. She readily agreed with me. So it can't have been my over-zealous imagination. Don't you dare start about me being too engross in the latest Harry Potter book. I haven't even bought it yet. But it looks like my will to resist the temptation is weakening fast. I may get the book this weekend. Oh, credit should go to my best friend, Naz, who unwittingly blurted out half the ending (at least that's what i hope! I absolutely hate to know the ending before the story ends) in agitation to me over MSN, before hastily shutting up. Haha. ;)

On the same day i spied Professor Snape, i was looking out for my friend, Mun Ling. I was constantly turning behind to look whenever i heard the doors to the late entrances open, so that i could wave to her or something. But it was never her. I gave up after 10 minutes; i am sure the people seated behind me probably thought i had a crush on one of them if i had continued. I should have never wasted any effort in trying to locate that girl. I would have known when she was coming in. Well into the lecture, there was a sudden commotion at the back of the lecture theatre. A loud crash (or so i think) and several students trying to contain their amused laughter. I looked at the Professor. He gave a cursory glance at the person behind the commotion, before ignoring it and resuming his lecture. And i turned around, in time, to see a purple bag thrown up in the air. I couldn't see the person, but i knew instantly who it was already.

I looked at En En beside me and whispered, "Mun Ling?"

"As usual." she replied, shaking her head and smiling.

After the lecture, that poor girl hobbled down the stairs and sat beside me. She sprained her ankle. But she was wailing and bemoaning the fact that she had fallen right beside a cute guy, and she couldn't believe her luck. I couldn't believe she wasn't more concern about her hurt ankle. It was comical.

So the next day, which was yesterday, there was a crippled and a mute walking down the street to visit the pharmacist. Mun Ling for some cream to ease her ankle's pain. And me, to get some medication for my sore throat that was worsening.

We were so tired, we just sat on one of the benches in the mall, stoning away. I was trying to kill time, so that i could take my medication. That was the first time i was so keen on swallowing some damn pills. My throat, my head and my aching body was too much for me to bear. I swear i am going to carry out some drastic reforms on my dietary habits. More water, and more Vitamin C from now on. No way am i ever going to fall this ill again. My mum was so anxious, she called me thrice!

Anyhow, i couldn't believe the pharmacist recommended Panadol (Paracetamol). I didn't think Panadol was that good, plus it has such wide-ranging effects for so many symptoms. But apparently it is quite heavily used here in Australia. But then Erfana said that her doctor also prescribed them quite readily, so i am not too sure. Maybe my family doctor back home is just different.

Jess and Erfana also paid me a visit in the evening, which was very kind of them. I guess i was ill enough to warrant a visit. Heh. :)

P/S: Read a couple of interesting news articles lately. Even Dad's smoke bad for the fetuses from Post-Gazette, Our Genes make ue like people similar to us from Medical News Today and Mental Patients cast out on the streets from The Australian.

PPS: Recently purchased a book, Witches: A history of persecution by Nigel Cawthorne. Had been looking for a nice, thin illustrated book about the Salem Witch trials, and this book was absolutely yelling out to me.

Strange feelings and the flu

2005-07-26T19:17:00.000+10:00

I have been hit by the bug. The flu bug i think.

My throat feels weird, not pain, just uncomfortable. Like there's some huge pressure compressing the base of my throat, leading me to think that i may have got asthma, which i hope is utter crap. But the image appearing in my mind, of my trachea swelling and obstructing my airway of the most precious oxygen is freaking me out all, but a little.

Came back from school. It was a rainy miserable day. Maybe not miserable for me, but it is a suitable word to describe the weather. Got drenched because i always assumed it only rains when i am at home. Dumb mentality.

Supposed to go out with Mun Ling to eat at a Vietnamese restuarant, but i got too sick. Showered and went to sleep in the middle of the darn afternoon. And what happens? I can't sleep. Tossed and turned and tossed and turned. Drifted in and out of dreamland. I only know that i was panicking. I was thinking the absurd same things i had in mind when my parents first left me alone in Australia in February. I thought i was falling really ill. My head was pounding, and my throat aching. I thought i was going to die. Felt like giving up on medicine and going straight home, and just do some business course.

Then another voice, the more realistic one would pop up, and chided me for letting my imagination run wild. I even map out what i would do if i feel really sick. Like getting myself to the hospital, 2 streets away. And trying to recall the ambulance hotline, but couldn't. Could only come up with 999, Singapore's Police hotline. Stupid. Hysteria, panic, confusion. I thought i had a fever. I distinctly remembered having such crazy thoughts (not the same of course) when i was running a fever. Hallucinations or something. I didn't have a fever.

Finally, when the room got too dark for comfort, i got out of bed and into the living room to fix myself some dinner. Instant soup and instant noodles. Not the best meal for a sick person, but it will have to do. I ate not because i was trying to pacify my hungry stomach. I ate because i needed to take Panadol to ease whatever bug that was inside me, tormenting my system. I didn't even know whether Panadol is suitable, since i never take Panadol. But it will suffice, because besides Panadol, i only have lozenges for sore throat (which i took in the afternoon) and flu medicine. I figured since i haven't had full blown flu yet, taking that wouldn't be too beneficial.

To be on the safe side, i asked one of my med friends. Strange that even though you are a med student, when it comes to self-medicating, you suddenly feel ill at ease. My friend recommended me some medicine, an advice she got from her friend who is studying pharmacy. I didn't know whether to laugh at the whole absurdity of the situation. Anyhow, i didn't have what she was saying and i was too lazy to trudge down the slippery street in the chilly weather to get it. Will get it tomorrow.

Sorry if i am boring you guys with this entry. I am just not myself. I am bored and i am sick and i don't know why. It just hit me so suddenly. I think i am homesick. I miss my dogs. Damn. Here we go again.

Name-change

2005-07-25T22:29:00.000+10:00

If you haven't noticed by now, i have changed the name of my blog to this amusing quote by Benjamin Franklin.

The pace of life has almost certainly picked up. I find myself gasping for air, as i claw through my notes, and they belong to last week's lectures. I am going to have a backlog of work again. Damn. Got my first subscription newspaper today, and i was hurriedly scanning through them thanks to the lack of time. I just discovered the huge disgusting amount of readings i have to do each day. Can you believe i actually forgot that my Health Practice lectures always have a ton of articles to read?! To think i was still basking in the amazement that Health Practice has become so relaxed. Obviously, it wasn't long before my bubble of self-proclaimed happiness was brutally smashed.

Anyhow, i spent last saturday at St Kilda's Beach with Mun Ling and Erfana, and i have one of the more glorious times i ever have in Melbourne. It is winter, the winds are strong and freezing, but it was nice. Soothing, serene and plain relaxing. The scenery was breath-taking and my poor Sony Ericsson was overworked. I was regretting not lugging my Kodak along. I guess there is a price to pay when you become overconfident with just a mere camera phone. It's a bad thing. Hopefully, i will have the time to visit the other beaches as well.

Erfana and Mun Ling stepping into the freezing sea and promptly got out, because well, it was just too cold. It is winter! Duh. I was smarter. I lingered behind and got this candid shot. Heh.

Mun Ling and Me at St Kilda Pier

Me and Erfana. Mun Ling said i looked like a priest because of the way i was clutching at my hood. At the very least, she should have said that i looked like a nun!

This is Crown, the famous Casino in Melbourne, and the place my friends and i usually hang out at to go for movies or for a meal.

The potato wedges we had. They are awesome!

I have more photos of St Kilda Beach that i am going to upload onto my photoblog. You can click here to get there. Ok, i got to go off now. More some other time.

P/S: Read this article, My Abortion would have spared my mother from The Age. It was recommended by one of my Health Practice Lecturers. It's good.

PPS: During my Health Practice lecture today, which i actually sat straight up to pay careful attention (which is really rare), i came across one of the more unique definitions of a doctor. Usually, you hear people a doctor is a helper, a person who heals, a person who cures etc etc. But have you heard that a doctor is the one who acts as a bridge between the stigmatized and society, the brokers between the stigmatized individual and society? I like this latest definition best. It really never occurred to me, till the lecturer mentioned it. I am liking Health Practice (where we learn a lot of sociology stuff) more and more.

Back to Melbourne

2005-07-24T22:04:00.000+10:00

Finally, i have some time to sit down, and blog about the past one week back in Melbourne.

It's very cold now. Wearing 3 layers is not enough at all. And my stauch refusal to wear a fourth layer is making me chatter as i walk down the street. 4 layers is just too big an exaggeration, it's plain crazy. And imagine the load of laundry i will end up with, so no way.

Tim came over just now to pass me his thumbdrive which contained songs from Gorillaz's latest album, Demon days.

He rapped on the door a couple of times before i opened it. The minute i yanked the door opened, i saw him leap to the side of my door, with widened eyes and an expression of wonder, horror and confoundment.

"Did you feel the wind?!" he finally spluttered.

I was trying my best to supress the amused laughter that was threatening to overwhelm me.

Silently, i just grinned and pointed to the open window behind me.

I like my apartment ventilated, regardless whether it is freezing, raining or sunny outside. Therefore, on windy days, you can feel gales of wind whispering through the window into my living room. Carol and i take shelter in our respective rooms. I sort of expected her to close the window when she uses the living room, but to my immense surprise, she was calmly sitting in the middle of the howling wind, watching TV.

I couldn't help but asked, "Aren't you cold?"

"Nope."

End of conversation.

That is what it's like between me and her. Short crisp conversation. No animosity, nothing. Just like that. It would seem like we are having a cold war, but we are not. We are actually on friendly terms, just that we don't talk much, and we each go about minding our own businesses. Strange. But i guess it is the optimum partnership you can get with housemates. Too close, and you will sooner or not, get sick of each other, and sparks will fly. Too hostile, and living in close proximity with each other would be torture. So i guess this is the best arrangement.

So the past one week has vanished in a whirlwind of movies, tutorials, lectures, research and jet lag. If time continues to pass like this, i am very sure not only one semester will zoom past; half my life will fly pass without even me realizing it.

On Sunday, when i first touched down here, i was slightly overwhelmed and stressed. The prospect of going back to an empty apartment, and who knows what kind of mess awaits me, filled me with dread. It was actually an exaggeration of my imagination. Carol and her mum left the apartment spick and span, so that was great. I just had to clean my room, vacuum my room and the rest of the apartment, drop my the supermarket to replenish my groceries and i was about done. Not much sweat about it. I ended up with so much time on my hands that i went to have a pasta buffet at Universal Pizza with Mun Ling and Erfana. You just can't resist the temptation of pasta when you come back to Lygon. It is interesting. We stuffed ourselves (as usual), before meeting up with Tim and Ravind to catch the movie, The Beat my Heart skipped. It is not a bad movie, one of those film festivals kind. They are more meaningful. The show protrayed the struggle this guy had to go through, as he was wrenched between following his father's dreams of him and pursuing his own. Sounds clique, but the movie was far from it.

I caught (hold your breath now!) 3 other movies. Basically, you can say that whatever shows they are screening at the theatres now, you can bet that i have most probably caught it. There was House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton, which i watched with Tim, Ravind, Mun Ling and Erfana at Crowns. Us medical students were so sickened by the grotesque scenes, that we couldn't help cringing and fidgeting in our seats. The guys actually wanted to walk off midway. It was really a sadistic film, of how the killers killed their victims and encasing them in wax even when they are still alive. It was much bloodier than Sin City, another show i watched. But it maybe due to the fact that Sin City is a black and white film, so the impact of whatever gore that is present, has been reduced. Singapore friends, i guess you can eat your hearts out, the show is rated only MA15 over here, but it's RA21 back home. Heh! ;P Mun Ling said that the show is actually banned in Malaysia, which is crazy. There is really not much nudity in the show. I think the main cause for concern would be the violence, though i must say it is rather impressive and ingenious ways of violence. Like this big guy who drove a car with one hand, and grasping the collar of a man in his other, and dragging his face on the road, in a bid to make him talk. Or how the killer (played by Elijah Wood) hunted down his victims, cut off their heads and hung them up as trophies before devouring the rest of their bodies, and throwing the scraps to his dogs. Haha. The most recent show i watched was Bewitched by Nicole Kidman. I only watched it because it is one of out of the 2 remaining shows i have yet to catch. It is a plain waste of money. It's so lame; i am certain it is one of the worst shows i have ever watched. I am rather surprised Nicole Kidman would want to act in such a lousy film.

(Yikes, i was searching for the movie website for Sin City, and the domain sincity.com was a porn site. What the f**k.)

Before you start wagging your finger in my face and berate me for wasting my parent's money instead of studying, i did have hell of a lot of stuff to do in school. But the delay in getting my net up and running did mean that i was free as a bird, and bored out of my mind on the first few days, but busy as hell in the last few.

There are a lot of postgraduates in my faculty. According to Erfana, there are 75 international students, 75 locals, and 50 postgraduates. The age range of the postgraduates is impressive. I think it is 25-44, might be larger, not sure. But imagine, at age 44, when you have lived more than half your life, you suddenly decide that what you have been doing for the major part of your life wasn't satisfying you enough, and you suddenly discovered that the job you have been slogging all this while ain't your vocation, and you need a change, and medicine is a good choice. Gosh, that really takes a lot of guts. They got my respect there.

Anyhow, my PBL tutorial group this semester is not what i have been expecting and i am getting this lingering doubt that, maybe, just maybe, i did get the best tutorial mates i could ever ask for in Semester 1, so the rest of the semesters would be disappointing. I hope not. But after thinking about it, i think it's because last semester, my tute had a majority of Asian students. This group has too, but with the exception of Erfana and i, the rest are locals. Which means the Asians are ABCs (Australian Born Chinese). So sometimes when they gabble on about Aussie stuff, my head would be spinning as i try to keep up with what they are saying. I have a postgraduate in my class too. And he's freaking knowlegeable. Which basically means that during the major part of the tute, the rest of us would shut up while he goes on and on. I wonder how the tutor can access and grade us on our performance at this rate. I am inspired to read the news and strengthen my general knowledge now, as well to keep abreast of the medical happenings, in a bid not to get left behind. I guess i don't need an added reason to buy the papers or a science magazine now. Oh, and one piece of good news, The subscription for the newspaper, The Age, which i missed early in Semester 1, is back for Semester 2! That means i get to purchase papers at a blatantly cheap rate when i signed up tomorrow. I still don't get how they can make any profit by selling the papers so cheap to us. AUD$10 for access to weekday papers, for 4 months. Usually, each paper costs AUD$1.20. The only logical explaination i can come up with is that, The Age always over-print their papers, and since their papers will go to waste when no one buys them, they might as well get students to pay AUD$!0, to encourage them to read the papers, and recoup some of their losses. Sounds dumb to me. Maybe, Wenting or Suba, if you are reading this, you can elaborate and explain the seemingly complex economics principle behind it.

All right, i need to retire to bed. I have heaps more to update, but i guess it has got to wait till tomorrow then.

Some photos for the time being.

The pasta buffet we had. We had to stop after one platter of pizza, 2 platters of pasta (one cream-based and the other tomato-based) and a huge bowl of garden salad, which i suspected they simply tugged out from their backyard! If not, how can you explain the exasperatingly nauseating fresh green colour??

The refillable coke. I was highly amused with the vessel they used to serve us with. It looks a lot like flower vases.

At Crowns having our dinner before the movie, House of Wax.

From back, clockwise, Me, Ravind, Tim and Mun Ling

From back clockwise, Ravind, Erfana, Tim and Mun Ling

P/S: Was reading the articles Thrill rides cater for the obese from The Observer and Ugandan Lawmaker to provide University Scholarships to virgin girls as part of HIV/AIDS fight from SPGate.

Friends

2005-07-22T22:38:00.000+10:00

It's a Friday night, and i am home. This sucks. I know i just came back from Jiawei's birthday party at Tim's place, which is just conveniently down the hall. But there's a difference. They are my fellow med mates, and i guess that's all. Nothing more. Just different people. Smile at the jokes, make small talk, try not to look bored. Give people face. Not their fault. It's mine and society's. I already know i am not their clique, hell, none of my clique was there. But courtesy beckons. How can i not drop by if i live down the hall. Fuck.

Can't wait for Wenting and Suba to come back. We always have something up our sleeves on friday nights, and it's nothing like pubbing or drinking or whatever. Sometimes a good show, a meal, a talk, that's all it takes. I miss Jennifer. Shit.

Friends here are so different back at home. There are 2 types here only. Those that want to study everyday, all the time. And those that want to booze all the day long. Don't have the kind of sporting friends i have back at home. No friends to engage in sports with, no friends to simply call out for a movie. Of course there are one or two here, but you know, there's so much time you can spend with one single person. You end up seeing them everyday, friction will start and sparks will fly. And even if both can hit it off from the start, the friendship will start to sour, because you get sick of each other.

The people here suck. Man, i know the things here are expensive, but there's nothing you can do about it. Shit. People should learn to loosen up. Money is important but it is not everything. And there is not much you can do here anyway. Movies, pub, what else? Nothing. Gosh.

Is there more life than just pubbing? You mean going over to a friend's place and chat is considered boring? This world is warped. All the stupid drinkers. All the stupid humpers. What the fuck.

Why are there so few people like me?? Where the hell are they?? Are they in hiding? This place is getting boring. I need more like-minded pals to hang out with.

There's more to life than studying every fucking minute. There's more to life than drinking to your death. What the fuck.

I am getting disillusioned. Why? I must stop this.

I must learn to be a loner.

In the days before i left Part 2

2005-07-22T17:16:00.000+10:00

Right, Zoto got itself sorted up, so let me just finish blogging about the days before i came. I am bursting to tell about the past few days in school.

Lydia, Zhili and Alvin (Zhili's boyfriend)

That's me. Gosh, i have really muscular thighs. Shit.

Lydia, looking absolutely exhausted. ;)

Zhili

Alvin, enjoying himself tremendously.

Someone making a big splash, falling into the sea. I suspect it is Lydia. Heh.

Lydia, extremely exhausted. We would have mistaken her for a floating log or corpse!

So, that concluded our wakeboarding. It is supposed to be a relaxing activity, though i did get stressed at certain points. Sometimes, when i am wakeboarding behind the boat, i would see Lydia, Zhili and Alvin waving excitedly to me from the back of the boat. And then i imagine their expressions changing and freezing into expressions of horror as they stare at something behind me. And i will gulp and try not to turn around to look, as i imagine this massive shape looming up behind me, just like Godzilla. Talk about freaking out. So much so, at the end of the session, when we still have 20 minutes to spare, and Alvin and i could take turns to wakeboard as much as we like, i declined. I had already settled at the back of the boat very comfortably, and wasn't mentally prepared for a last minute run. Wakeboarding is fun, but after a couple of runs, it gets tiring and it is much more fun settling in the boat, sun-tanning and catch up with your friends in the glorious sunshine. Unless of course, you are as enthusiastic as Alvin, then you probably can go for unlimited consecutive runs without feeling drained!

The whole group of us then also met up at Grand Copthorne Hotel to have the oyster buffet for dinner. Somehow, one day in December last year, i related to them about the deliciously fresh oysters with lemon juice that i had, and ever since that we (especially Xueling!) was dying to sample it. And it came through last thursday. It was french and international cuisine.

Xueling, took one bite of the oyster and couldn't stop gushing about it. She shot straight to heaven, with the euphoria her tastebuds were having. This time round, i went easy on the main course, and took more of the dessert. The last time, i ate the main course so eagerly, that i couldn't pack in the tempting desserts, which was such a pity. This time, i was back with a vengence! The dessert was absolutely tantalizing. Amazing. I love bread pudding with vanilla or hot chocolate sauce. Hmmm....

The mouth-watering oysters that were so fresh, they can bring tears to your eyes!! We were stuffing ourselves silly with them.

The dessert, not so beautifully arranged because i couldn't stop myself from attacking it before taking a photo!

Clockwise, staring from the back. Me, Lydia, Xueling & Zhili

Clockwise from the back. Alvin, Me, Xueling, Shuo Han (Lydia's boyfriend), Lydia and Zhili

The 2 couples. Guess which of them are the pair? Haha.
From left to right, Alvin, Zhili, Lydia and Shuo Han

Then on Friday night, i met up with the Guide Gang (so called because we met one another when we joined Girl Guides back in Secondary 1 when we were 13). We headed to Acid Bar, which according to my friend, Shuxin, was very nice. Hai. Not really lah. I still miss Embargo which has sadly closed down. So far, i can't find a pub whose ambience can match that of Embargo. In Australia, the closest is Polly, which is not bad.

I experimented with Black and White and Serpia photos which got Wai Han all excited. She is one of those rare friends i really treasure, who have an appreciation for such stuff with me.

Anyway, we had White Russian (which Mun Ling recommeded to me previously, and which was the drink i had been searching for since i tasted it when i was 12. Yeah, 12. Heh.), Bloody Mary (which tasted gross and was left almost untouched. We only ordered it because we were curious, and also because in the shows we watched, the actors whenever they were in depression, always ordered one, so we were intriuged. But it tasted like the remnants of sphagetti sauce after a sphagetti meal, under running water, just when you are going to load it into the dishwasher or something. Of course i never tasted it before, i assumed it. It looks like that. Hee.), a Tequila Sunrise? (can't remember), and 2 mocktails (cocktails with no alcohol), and oh yeah, a bucket of 5 Corona beers. It was a riot.

Oh yeah, this ain't a bottle of beer. It is a bottle of mineral water that bloody cost SG$7, and it tasted no different from tapwater!

The group of us. From backrow, clockwise. Yivon, Shuxin, Waihan, Me, Yiwei, Jiaying and Kah Ming

Us trying to look normal, and i was caught with my eyes closed. Dang.
From left, clockwise. Shuxin, Kah Ming, Jiaying and Me

Wai Han and i. She trying to choke me, and i trying to deflect her. Hah.

Kah Ming and i. Gosh, serpia photos really can evoke a sense of nostagia when you look back on them.

My favourite (and Wai Han's). We looked like a bunch of teenagers trying to act cool by being sullen. Imagine the fits of laughter we have when we look back a few decades down the road.
From back, clockwise. Kah Ming, Me, Wai Han, Yiwei & Jiaying

This was the dinner that Nazreen's mother whipped up for us when i visited. It was sumptous, and it ain't oily at all!! They are called puri. Correct me if i am wrong, Naz. I was stuffing myself and after gorging on 4, Nazreen still commented that i ate too little! When i pointed out that she only had two, she just grinned sheepishly. Jeez!

Prior to the dinner, i went to picked Naz (my best pal) up in my car. It was the first time i drove across the ECP (East Coast Parkway) by myself. Naz suggested going to Suntech City. Halfway, i asked her for direction. She gaped at me, and it dawned upon me that both of us were clueless. So there we were, executing last minute turns, and breaking all sorts of road rules, and nearly ramming into any unfortunate driver who had the tough luck of meeting us. And i was screaming at Naz in mock anger, whilst she laughed hysterically. And she passed her driving test too. Darn.

When we got to the departmental store, we had no idea where to park. And that girl actually, very smartly pointed out the entrance of a carpark. And as i was turning in, i discovered it was the exit, and had to hastily turn out. Crazy man. We could have gotten ourselves killed. But we parked, and all was fine, till we got home. We got lost. And in the middle of a crowded road, Nazreen insisted we should stop to allow her to purchase some fresh fruit from one of the roadside stalls. Which was suicide. I refused and was faced with a barrage of complaints. Amazing. Haha! Can't wait to get back and go rounding with her again. Naz, this time i will bring along a roadmap, and make sure that i have a full tank of petrol, in case we get stranded in some eerie place!

In the days before i left

2005-07-21T21:46:00.000+10:00

Ok, i am back. Finally. I know. Wasn't my fault. Was College Square's (as usual). They couldn't get my internet working even after i hounded them for 3 days. It too a combined effort from me and Mun Ling before they got on their lazy asses. But oh well, at least, the person who finally got down to doing it, and the other who was pacifying us, were nice.

My internet was up on Wednesaday, but had a lot of catching up to do with my schoolwork first. Had to start printing out my lecture notes (having turned up for the first 2 days without any), scan through them, and complete my tutorial assignment. Life's been busy, but more about that later.

Anyway, here are the long awaited photos, from my Wakeboarding, my driving spree with Nazreen, my Oyster buffet (which we anticipated way before i came to Australia in February!) and the outing to Acid Bar with my Girl Guide Gang.

Wakeboarding was really fun, though i got burnt to a crisp. En En saw me at the airport, squinted at me, before commenting that i looked like a lobster. Thanks man. My mum's sunblock is completely defenceless against the sun. And the skin on my knees ached after baking in the sun for a couple of hours. Only my back didn't burn, thanks to the SPF protection provided by my shirt (for the wee old sailing days when i was 12!). How can the shirt be so big right? I think they only came in adult sizes, and my father was adamant about purchasing one for each of us. So he just bought them and waited for us to grow and fill them out. Only my father is capable of such dimwitted but really great ideas.

Anyhow, i was the first to go out wakeboarding. Zhili and Lydia were too scared, and it was Alvin's first, so basically he had no idea what he was in for. I was rather nervous, because there was absolutely no one else, and the sea was so calm, it looked ominous. I had to sit at the edge of the boat for a few moments, scanning the area around the boat for any tell-tale signs, and to clarify and re-clarify with the instructor (who happened to be the senior faculty captain of the Arts faculty in my junior college) that it wasn't jellyfish season and there ain't any sharks or crocodiles prowling round the sea. By the time i got in, and the boat went cruising off, i was really worried. That's only me in the huge expanse of water. No one was near enough to safe me, and i doubt they will be fast enough if they were close anyway, if anything was to happen. Dang. In such scenerios, i fully understood that there is only God to depend on. No one else.

I screwed up the first run. Completely forgot whatever i learnt. Forgot how to shift my weight on the board, forgot that i shouldn't yank on the rope, forgot that i had to hold the handle low, and even forgot that i should release the rope when i fall. I learnt the last move pretty fast (you bet!) on the first fall, when i was dragged in the water by the boat, before the pain hit home, and my fingers released the handle. After that it went pretty well. Remembered what to do, could balance. And the instructor went one notch higher, by increasing the speed of the boat, because i was getting bored. I was so bored, i attempted the jump. And only because after wakeboarding for a distance, Zhili and the rest started yelling from the back of the boat that i should jump. And jump i did. Only difference? I fell right smack into the sea at such a great force, that my head, my stomach and my chest ached. It happened so fast i couldn't even turn my head in time. I thought i suffered some grievous internal injury. Damn. And i was curling up (if that is even possible, with a life jacket and the dumb board) in the sea, trying to ease the pain. That was the last time i tried to jump. A jump on land is different from one in water. Obviously. Just too excited to realize then.

With a higher speed, balance was more crucial. I fell more but that was fine. I even switched the front foot and i did it without crashing into the sea! I tried riding out of the triangle, though i think i need more practice on that. Alvin was the best. He became super professional after a few tries. Man, we were all so envious. But one thing the instructor remarked. Girls learn faster to wakeboard than guys, so Alvin was an exception. Cool man.

That's me.

Zhili and i on the boat

Me & Lydia

P/S: The blasted Zoto which is hosting my photos is being a brat right now. I think they are experiencing some techinical glitch or something. Damn my luck. More photos tomorrow then. Need to get some sleep. I slept through both my lectures on Monday without meaning to, thanks to my jet lag. I was astounded to discover that i slept through tons of slides when i thought i dozed off for only 5 minutes. What the hell.

Got to Run

2005-07-16T20:13:00.000+10:00

Hey people, i haven't been updating. It's been a mad rush. I have to get to the airport in 15 minutes. I swear i am never going to pack my stuff last minute again. I am feeling so stressed, it's unbelievable.

And when i am reminded to hurry, i feel my heart sinking that i am leaving. It is too fast and too soon, i am stunned.

I will update about my wakeboarding and the whirlwind activities in the last few days when i am back in Melbourne.

I probably won't be updating this couple of days; got to spring clean my apartment on Sunday the minute i touchdown, and Monday, school will be back in full swing. Check back maybe Tuesday or Wednesday yeah?

See ya guys, love ya.

My First Facial

2005-07-13T01:04:00.000+10:00

I realized that as i am sped into impeding adulthood, i am starting to discover a lot of first experiences. Ok, don't go thinking off the wrong track, for the handful of perverted minds!

So today, i decided to tag along with my mum for her facial. I thought maybe it was time i should spare a minimum amount of time to my appearance, and be more feminine for once. And facial was a good start.

My mum, being paranoid that i was going to be late, kept on rushing me. She thought i drive slow. Right. We ended up 45 minutes early, which gave me plenty of time to slouch in the armchair provided in one of the rooms, and to stone and reflect about the future, whilst she flipped through the beauty magazines provided.

I will tell you what i was reflecting upon later. So right, when we were shown to the room, i saw a bed, and the armchair. It looked a lot like a sleazy massage parlour, or how one would look like, since i have never ventured into one before. And i got pretty nervous. In fact, i wanted to back out immediately. I was chiding myself for being such a moron to get myself into the situation in the first place. But i didn't back out. Not because i was suddenly bestowed with guts from above. I didn't want my mum to laugh at me. So there, i stuck on, due to my pride. Heh.

The person came in.

"Hallo, this is your daughter ah?"

"Yeah."

"Hallo."

"You doing facial and massage today?"

"Yup."

"Your daughter?"

At this point in time, i was frozen. I didn't know my mother come for massages. And there was no way in hell am i letting anyone massage me. I was strickened.
"You want a massage?"

I stared at my mother.

"No need. She only needs a facial. And be gentle, because it is her first time. How long will she take?"

"About 45 minutes."

I was dubious of what i was going to be put through. Isn't a facial just a wash?? What is there to be gentle about?? Why does it take so long? 45 freaking minutes! I only take 1 to wash my face! What exactly goes on in a facial? I braced myself for what i was going to experience soon.

I was chased into another room, whilst my mum undressed and chagned into the garments provided. So i had plenty more time to daydream before another person arrived to attend to me.

"Hallo."

"Hallo."

"Can you change into this garment?"

I gazed at the garment in front of me. A plain drabby thing. I refused to wear it. It ain't because it is plain or drabby. It just reminded too much of a hospital garment that patients have to don on, and that i had to wear back when i was 14, when i had a bad case of stress, and had to be kept in the hospital for observation. And it was a terrible experience that shook me. So hell, i am not touching that thing.

"I'm not having a massage right?" i hollered to my mum in the next room, a mere curtain separating the 2 rooms.

"Nope. Just facial, neck and shoulders."

"No, i only want facial."

"Ok, facial and neck."

"No. No neck. Only facial." I insisted.

"Ok, facial only." my mum finally surrendered.

"Do i still need to change into the garment?"

"Nope, that's not required anymore." The person smiled and replied.

She's probably thinking i am a nutcase, but i don't care.

I was made to lie on this narrow bed laid with towels. I felt very vulnerable. I hate such positions in foreign environments. Arggh. To my surprise, the person unfolded a blanket and covered me with it, from toe to chin. That made me feel better instantly. I thought such things only occur in hospitals, to maintain the dignity of patients, i didn't know places like facial and massage parlours are as thoughtful.

So the person started filling my face with her bare hands. I could feel her fingers running gently up my cheeks, nose and forehead. I was filled with respect. The skin is the organ that can be strickened with the most disgusting infections, and the face is especially prone to acne and oil. I am not saying my face is like that. But for the person working in such places, to be able to touch everyone's faces with gusto, you need a lot of courage, and that is really commendable. Even as a medical student, i shudder at thought of entering the dermatology specialization, let alone a lay person.

The person then slathered on some cream. In the whole process, she slapped on hell of a lot of cream on my face. I think all my face cells were drowning in them. She put at least 4 or 5 different creams, gels, whatever they call it. It was amazing. My face have never been treated so nicely before. And she used sponges to wipe off the soap and all. And with warm water. Normally, i will just slap on some facial wash, splash some icy-cold water, dry my face vigorously with a towel before rushing about doing my next activity. So today was considered to be a lot of pampering for my face!

The person then started removing the blackheads on my face for me. My eyes were shut; she placed damp cotton pads on them, to reduce the glare of the table lamp which she was using. I don't know what instrument she used. But the small poking sensations that i felt with my eyes closed, made me think that i was receiving Botox shots. Again, i haven't tried a single Botox shot, i don't need any (duh!), but i assumed they felt like that. It was really funny.

After the Botox-like procedure, she placed something over my eyes. This time, i felt pressure only on my right eye, so i thought she forgot to put the other eye pad on. Then i realized both my eyes were covered, so it must be an eye mask. And as i attempted to peer out of one eye, i saw a ring of light. For the briefiest moment, i thought she placed cucumber rings over my eyes, just like i see in the shows. I was trying to stop myself from grinning, in case she is finally convinced i am insane, and have me commit into a mental institution. With both my eyes open under the mask, i saw something red flashed across from my side vision, as well as a Zzzing noise. I am very sure it was laser. I don't know what its purpose is for, but i hastily shut my eyes. I didn't want to be blinded. I am paranoid.

At the end of the procedure (after more slapping on of creams, and wiping them off), she finally placed a mask over my face. It was made of paper, and felt amazingly light. So this was how a face mask felt like. Then i was questioning again. The mask didn't really touch my face in some parts. In fact it practically stuck on the more jutting features of my face, like my nose and my mouth. Wouldn't the other parts which are not touching, not be facialized? My question was answered a few moments later.

"Are you claustophobic?" the person asked pleasantly.

"No," i managed to croak out.

She then added heaps of cream to the mask. With the weight of the cream bearing down on the mask, i could now feel it on every inch of my face. Ah.... haha. It had a very minty smell and a very menthol sensation. It felt like smearing toothpaste all over myself.

After the mask was done, she switched off the light. I knew because the glare of the light was gone through the eye pads and my closed eyelids. I laid on the bed for ages with the darn mask on. I was seriously wondering whether i was cut out for a facial, since i couldn't lay still. I kept fidgeting, and very nearly fell off the damn bed. I was thinking whether i would smash into the machinery on the side. I can't tell since i am temporarily blinded. Dumb thoughts. I was bored.

Finally, i was freed when she peeled the mask off. Freedom! It feels so good!

I cannot see a visible difference in my face after the facial, though my mother claimed that i looked fairer with the removal of all my blackheads. Don't you think that is simply a horrific exaggeration? I refuse to buy her word for it. But i could feel the difference. I felt cleaner and more confident, but i think it is just psychologically. However, my face does indeed feel smoother when i touch it with my finger. So there. Facial for you. And there isn't anything sleazy about it.

This medical course is really forcing me to keep myself well-groom and all. What the hell.

I sat in one of the corridor seats and waited for my mum as she completed her massage. I heard slapping noises and i shuddered. Why in the world do i want to subject myself to such torment? To strip, expose yourself and then let the person knead their fingers into you as they vent whatever frustrations they have, box you on the back in a way they termed massaging and then slap you around, with a wet towel, i presume. Crazy. No way.

The corridor of the massage parlour

The room. It's quite comfortable, with soothing aromatherapy and relaxing music.

The narrow bed

My mum flipping through the magazines, waiting for the person to come

The armchair i was slouching in

The array of complicated-looking machinery

The cupboard storing the assortment of facial creams, gels, soaps etc.

P/S: I am going Wakeboarding tomorrow!! Zhili called me up and cajoled me to come along. Anyhow, i removed my stitches today, and it was all good. I didn't feel a thing. Not at my ulcers nor at my wound. It was cool. The dentist was appalled that i can actually bite myself right next to the wound. Heh.

PPS: Was driving on the expressway just now when i decided to execute one of the manueveurs my father taught me, on how to change lanes. I did exactly what he demonstrated, but i got honked at. And i had to hurriedly swerve back. I was annoyed, and proceeded to complain to my father and rant at him for his useless teachings. Both of us forgot to consider one thing. My father is probably able to get away with his changing lanes technique because he is an old adult male, so people give way. When it comes to me, no way am i having such a luxury. Try as i might, our society is still a sexist one, where a young female probably occupy one of the lowest rungs in the social ladder. I am sticking to my own method. At least i changed lanes safely, and no one toots their horns at me.

And my father preaches again...

2005-07-12T15:35:00.000+10:00

Behold the conversations we had this morning. They weren't exactly conversations, more like yelling matches. My mum sat stoically in the front seat, attempting to referee the matches.

Match #1
Me to my mother.
"You shouldn't be afraid of driving, just be more reckless, and the other drivers will give way to you."

My father butts in.
"Reckless? How can you be reckless? Are you trying to be a hero? Everyone will just laugh at you!"

"Reckless is not equivalent to being a hero. A hero is trying to show off. Being reckless just means to not think too much." I smoothly retorted.

"The Cambridge dictionary states that being reckless is to act without...." he chortled.

Me, "???"
Without missing a beat, i hurriedly replied, "The dictionary is stating a meaning in a totally different context. I am using a different context here. You must look at the contextual clues!"
(I know i am uttering rubbish, but i had to say something, if not sure lose the match. Plus, i replied with a volley of long and complex sounding terms, it sounds as though i really know what the hell i am muttering about.)

"Then it is not called reckless. It is called daring."

"Fine, daring then."

"Yes, you should be more daring."

And my father proceeds to show me how to take corner at break-neck speed. After the corner, he proudly bragged, "Your father is a good driver. Nobody can take a corner like that. You should learn from me, cut in through the apex of the curve, and never step on your brakes. That would be a poor driver."

My mother rolled her eyes and replied, "And she's supposed to learn from you and do that???"

I raised one eyebrow and settled back into my seat. No reply was needed. I won hands down.

Result: I win.

Match #2
My father spoke up.
"Some drivers study so hard, have so many degrees under their belts, yet when they drive on the road, i find that they are so stupid!"

"Why?"

"They are such unsafe drivers, it is crazy. Some drivers, they want to drive on the fast lane of the expressway, but yet they go so slow. They are road hoggers! And they are always lady drivers!"

"What?!"

"When you are a roadhogger, what do you do?"

Without waiting for my reply, my father carried on, "You drive slower? Then that would be very foolish of you. You only make people angry with you, antagonzing them."

"There was once this female driver driving in front of me. She kept jamming her brakes intermittently, even though there were no cars in front of her. I got fed up, sped up, overtook her, and jammed the bloody brakes in front of her, forcing her to brake immediately, and giving her a scare. That's called braking. She wants to brake, i show her." my father said smugly.

"Are you crazy? You are being an idiot!" I yelled.

"I am teaching her. Only female drivers drive like that."

"Why must it be female drivers? Who says male drivers do not make the same mistake?? And maybe she was learning. If she never try, how is she to know?!"

At this juncture my mother intercepted. She glared at my father and said, "And you call that daring! And you want your daughter to learn?? Do you even know what you are talking about?? How many years have you driven? How many days have your daughter drove?? Use your brain!"

"But it's true, someone has to teach them, if not they never learn. If they are dumb, they must learn! I'm helping them!" my father helplessly replied.

Result?
I win again.

Match #3
We were waiting at a junction. Waiting to turn right (we are on the right hand drive in Singapore). But there was a massive bus blocking our views, so we couldn't see any oncoming traffic. So my father stalled and decided to wait for the green arrow to appear instead. It would be safer.

Whilst waiting, he started preaching again.

"There was one time, i was in this same situation and the bugger behind me tooted his horn at me impatiently. He wanted me to simply turn right. I got irritated and i wound down the window, and signalled for him to go. I was telling him, you so smart, you go lah, go and be a hero. That guy had nothing left to say, and waited quietly. Next time, someone like that, you do the same thing."

Me thinking to myself.
"But you are a grown man, and i am a mere girl. You expect me to make rude hand gestures to a grown man behind me?? Do you think i have a freaking death wish???"

I spoke up, "Siao, i will just ignore him."

"But this kind of people need to be taught a lesson, and i will teach them."

"Crazy. If it was me, i would have just ignored him. If he is dense, there is no point in wasting my precious time on him anyway."

"Exactly!" my mother agreed and echoed my view.

Result: I win.

Overall? No competition at all lor.

Conclusion?
Never attempt to argue with both your wife and daughter. Sure lose until lao sai one.

Perky

2005-07-11T23:33:00.000+10:00

Am very happy.

I have conquered my fear!!

Drove to my mum's workplace single-handedly. Crossed the PIE (Pan-Island Expressway), and the CTE (Central Expressway). Drove in heavy lashing rain, solo. Drove across a huge puddle of water, resulting in water spraying everywhere, and felt the car glided aka slightly skidded. Wonderful. No nervousness. Just a simple prayer before i left. Am one very happy girl.

After that cruised along the ECP (East Coast Parkway) and the TPE (Tampines Expressway). Yay! After committing the routes of today into my memory, i am more or less quite clear of what expressways to use for whatever destination i am heading to. Very happy.

Mum was so darn shock i made it. My father seemingly expected it.

Driving lessons went up one notch from my father. He started drawing diagrams of 3 different curves and told me how to take the corners. Something about apexes of curves, and outer wheels in line with the road markings of the inner lane.

He said very gravely, "When you take a corner, and you step the brake, the car will become unsettled and thus unstable. A good driver never steps on the brakes when he takes a corner. That's the difference between a good driver and an average one. Learn."

And he even specially went to all the sharp corners near the city and gave me a first-hand demonstration of how to take the curve. I felt like i was in Initial D. Ok, i am kidding. Heh. I would like to try my hand out at the curves one day, but it is going to take me a couple more times to get used to the attitude of the car first. Plus, it also means i will be using 2 lanes, which means the stretch of road got to be quite empty and devoid of other motorists, or i am speeding way ahead of the pack.

Now it has become a routine, just for this week, before i leave. WIll be fetching my brother to school, and my mum back from work. More driving practice for me. I am gratified! And contented. Face your fears. Once not enough, then do it twice. Twice not enough, do it thrice. Keep on facing them till you overcome them, or if you can't, at least you get used to them and not feel restricted by them.

*****
Went to Popular bookstore to get the last of my supplies - my printer cartridges. Alas they don't sell double packs, but never mind. Have yet to purchase the heavy duty hooks that can hold up heavy frames. My David Beckham has crashed to the ground twice, and miraculously he has survived both escapades. I am dubious he would be lucky a third time. Not risking it, so i am going to get the best hooks, just for The Man.

*****
Man, i feel really fat, and unhealthy and unfit and the usual case of i-feel-like-a-hippo sentiments. Am really looking forward to going back to Melbourne, where i can resume my strict gym regimen. Did i mention my father bought me a sit-up bar which i can attach to my door to do sit-ups? So yay, i can do stomach exercises in ease.

A couple of days ago, i checked up my timetable, and printed them out. Didn't want to print when i am back in Australia, as i am trying to reduce my living expenses. But the semester notes ain't out yet, which is a minor bummer. However, my timetable is really good this semester. Everyday, my lessons only begin at 9am. Really thrilled and upbeat about it. So instead of dragging my feet and forcing my lazy ass out of bed for early morning lectures, i get to wake up to do some running. Yes, i am resuming my running, walking is just not making my day. BUT. I am not going to run as fast as i did the last time round, which resulted in my horrendously enlarged calf muscles. And Jiawei was puzzled why i didn't want muscles. How do you explain that to a guy??

Found out my tutorial groups as well. Some familiar names in the same group, some names which let out a couple of groans, some strangers, and some of those whom you heard of and know them by sight, but do not know them personally. Another semester of getting to make new friends, and getting into the swing of things. Must start studying hard right from Day 1 now. Must put in consistent effort. Semester 1 was a general indicator how things would be like in the future and definitely not to be repeated, that is for PBS (Principle of Biomedical Science).

Am really looking forward to start school again, back to the disciplined lifestyle i have. You know it is a strange thing, but i feel i am closer to God when i am in Australia, i guess because i am all alone and have no one to turn to. But i am not going to like leaving my family behind and my dogs though. Sacrifices.

Speaking of dogs; just now my mum and i brought the 2 dogs down for a short walk. We proceeded to walk up the stairs. I unleashed Jackie. My mum warned that Jackie did not like walking up the stairs at all. Instead he would just head to the lift lobby. Damn spoilt fat dog. What a brat. Anyhow, i thought that if all of us, including Randy were to walk up the 9 flights of stairs, it wouldn't be a problem of having to compel him to walk up with us. Boy, was i wrong. That lazy bugger simply refused to follow our lead. He scampered around the grass patches and to the lift lobby and even at the foot of the stairs. But he just gazed at us and ran off. I was mad. Hopping mad. Mad that i had such a useless fat dog. I screamed. I hollered. I ranted. I yelled. I ever resorted to waving my hands like a mad fool, but that damn dog took no heed. My throat went hoarse and i could taste the acrid metallic taste of blood. I will be damned if i get a sore throat tomorrow. Dumb dog.

In the end, i strode purposefully to the fat dog, gripped him by the collar and yanked him to the staircase. I was annoyed. I slipped on his choker chain, and proceeded to race up 9 flights of stairs, dragging the dog's lazy ass with me. Well, if he doesn't want to walk, he can jolly well run. He got his wish. But he was discounted today. I was really not in shape. Nearing the 7th flight, i slowed my pace. That bugger got off lightly. Not going to happen when i get back next semester. Just wait and see. Lazy sloth.

Ok, i am rambling. Going to hit the sack early tonight. Need to fetch my brother in the blazing morning, and i have got a dental appointment. Hopefully the dentist is skilled enough to remove my stitches without accidentally poking my blasted ulcers. I will howl the bloody roof down if he does.

P/S: The cute signboard below is courtesy of my friend, Yinglin.

PPS: Anyone knows what's up with the Ronaldos this days? I realized quite a number of people of sifting through the Ronaldo images in my archives. I am not even sure which Ronaldo. Is it the Cristiano one from Man U or the Brazilian one from Real Madrid?

2005-07-11T19:14:00.000+10:00

Information stated here has been altered to protect and maintain patient confidentiality. Names, genders, ages, and locations have been tampered with to prevent the identification of the subject in topic. If you feel you know the person or that it is you, it is just a coincidence. It ain't you, because i have taken great pains and measures to prevent any breach of ethical conduct, so relax and take a deep breath. Quit being so paranoid! :)

Hanging out with my family

2005-07-11T10:09:00.000+10:00

So i kept my word, and drove my brother to school myself today. Without any worried mother or yelling father seated beside me. And it was good. Not just the driving. But the time and silence spent together with my brother. You know, even when the both of us are at home, we might not even converse a few sentences? He would be cooped up in his room, watching the telly or studying, or i would be walking the dogs or reading my stuff, or simply out with my friends. So mornings are quite good times.

And for once, my brother didn't tell me to speed up. In fact, he reassured me that he wasn't late. Ha. I think he realized that without my mum's restrains, i am in fact not a very slow driver. But it felt good. The driving. Not just the speed. But the confidence that comes along. The freedom to do whatever you like. To turn when you feel like it, without someone nagging in you ear that you should be turning soon. To turn at junctions, without someone admonishing you to be cautious of crossing pedestrains. To speed up at junctions, without anyone warning you that the lights would turn red soon, and hence affect your focus, which may beome lethal.

You may think such naggings are well-intentioned, especially since young drivers this days are so reckless. Well, i understand your good intentions, but sometimes parents have to learn to slack off. And my parents' major problem is not being able to let go, which sometimes infuriates me, because i find that it restricts my capabilities more than i would like to admit. Many times i wonder what else i would have been able to accomplish, without their constant anxiety, edging at the frays of my mind. Parents. Oh well.

Anyhow, i was driving back just now, alone, and i was forcing myself to feel, to experience, and to remember the drive back. I wanted to know where my fear was, and so i was compelling myself to fully absorb the experience. I realized that my fear may not stem from driving. It may very well come from the fact of being lost. I think i am more afraid of getting lost, or not having a clear idea of my directions, thus causing me to turn at junctions abruptly or something, which gives rise to dangerous driving. That's what i am afraid of. And i am going to conquer it. That is after i make sure that my Dad replenishes the petrol to full tank, so that no matter where i am lost, i wouldn't be stranded with a car that won't work due to a lack of petrol!

*****
Yesterday after church, my parents and i went to have some Indian nan. It really isn't oily, and thus not fattening. And it tasted good! Alas, i couldn't try more curry thanks to my ulcer. But never mind. I was totally impressed with the cutlery they served their food with. The plates weren't mere cheap plastic ones. They were ceramic, with nice designs on them, and their cutlery was gold. I doubt it is real gold, but still the effects were dazzling. Not forgetting that we were just eating at a simple kopitiam. The owner was also kind enough to give us a free plate of briyani to sample. It was multi-coloured, and we just couldn't believe that it was pure rice! And it wasn't oily, like normal briyani. I think the food served by this couple are quite health-conscious, since the couple were former nurses.

The Indian Nan, complete with the gold coloured fork and spoon.

The multi-coloured briyani, which tasted as nice as it looked!

The entire spread.

The cutlery.

My father and i are big fans of Indian food, as you can see.

In the afternoon, the whole family went to eat at Newton hawker centre. With Randy, my dog. Normally, i wouldn't bring the dog into the car, since my parents do not like it. They think the dog would make the car dirty. But you know, when you are departing in less than a week, on Saturday, you actually have the upper-hand to force your parents to be more 'flexible', to do things for you they normally would not. ;) Heh. But i didn't push my luck either. I just brought the smaller dog along, Randy. It has been a long time since the 4 of us (my parents, my brother and I) have sat in the car together with the dog. Very long time indeed. We were really happy just sitting in the car, with the dog walking all over us (my mum and I) in the backseat. My mum only likes to pat the dog, nothing more. So to allow Randy to step on her just to gaze out of the window, is a milestone. And my brother also tolerated Randy as he panted in his ear. It was good. During the drive, my mother suddenly confessed that when i was in Australia, they actually thought Randy was going to die. Apparently, Randy was so inactive and quiet, and somtimes seemed to gripped by seizures, that they thought his time was up. And they didn't dare tell me. But when i got back, the transformation was remarkable. He became very active and jumpy all over again. I think it's because no one else takes the time to play and disturb the dogs, that's why. Anyway, i think it would better when i leave this semester. At least my dogs now know, i will come back, and that i did not abandon them.

I ate fried oysters (again!) at Newton. This is crazy. I am going for an oyster buffet this thursday night. There is just something with me and oysters. And i am not an oyster person. That's the funny bit.

Randy, standing up on the table, waiting for scraps of food. He ate all the prawns in my father's, my brother's and my Hokkien Mee!

My terapins, Faith (the darker one) and Destiny, which i reared since December 2001, but since have released in a pond filled with water lillies, and abundant food.

P/S: I have switched to Zoto, to host my photos. It offers 2Gb of space for free accounts! It is really good. Plus you can add tags! Similar to Photobucket, you can blog directly. But to read the html tag, you have to click on each individual photo, which is not as convenient as Photobucket. But the photos from Zoto have been neatly resized for you, so that spares you the hassle too!

Galled

2005-07-11T01:15:00.000+10:00

I will update about today tomorrow.

Right now i am totally antagonized. With myself.

Just came back from Jiawei's dinner party. 4 (including me) were in attendance. Me, En En, Jiahui and of course Jiawei. It was quite funny. Houston came along later. Actually, he came when we were leaving.

All of us drove. And i realized i am the only one with this irrational phobia about cruising along the expressways alone. And i am really vexed about it.

Jiahui, Houston and Jiawei wanted to go East Coast Park to have supper and maybe drink. I wasn't going to go along with them. Firstly because En En ain't going, and i am not comfortable going out with Houston or Weiyong. Secondly, i have this cranky fear about expressways.

And i am riled about that fact. I feel really restricted. Almost handicapped, just because i have this unexplainable fear about driving along the expressways. En En asked why? Truly i don't know. Not even after i taught long and hard about it. The only reason i can think of is because of my father. The way he gave me frights when he suddenly yelled out whilst i was driving on the expressways with him, in the days right after i passed. I think my phobia developed. And it pissed me right off.

It enrages me that i am bothering with a stupid lousy phobia that is not even rational. It's crazy. I was so angry, i drove without caring on the way back. Not without caring. But less cautious. I was pushing the limits and testing them. And it FELT GOOD.

No matter. I am angry and i have made up my mind.

Tomorrow i am going to drive my brother to school. Alone. With no surveillance from my mother. It is just going to be me and my brother. Period.

Even then, i know it is not going to cleanse me of my fear till i cross the damn expressways myself. I am really getting chaffed by this. I am going to find a reason, or a way for a need to drive the car across half the fucking island. And get rid of this shitty apprehension that has been dogging me and inconveniencing my life.

I want to be FREE.

P/S: I was searching through my archives and you know what? I can't believe i have driven on most of the expressways before and i actually found them easier. This is getting crazier and crazier.

Ulcers!

2005-07-10T21:40:00.000+10:00

Went to watch Mindhunters with Yinglin yesterday. Mindhunters is quite an interesting show, the genre being the same as a movie released earlier this year, called Saw. But i think Saw is better. I like MindHunters because of the suspense, and it is not horror horror, as in, it is not the supernatural horror kind. It's more like a thriller horror, about a serial killer. Throughout the show, Yinglin was extremely nervous and jittery, and she kept speculating who the killer was. Whereas i was totally calm and indifferent. All the blood and gore; i think once you have seen a dissected cadaver first-hand, nothing else matters. You can stomach everything and anything else. Which is bad in a way, since it removes the element of excitement from such shows, don't you think?

But i was quite shocked at the character of the serial killer. No, the actor's acting skills ain't terrible. It is the way they protrayed clearly the characteristics of a serial killer that stunned me. I remembered we (Jennifer and i and the rest of the gang) were talking about serial killers once, and she mentioned that serial killers have no feelings of remorse, no guilt, no conscience. It's like a part of the brain controlling such emotions is absent. Now i realized how true it is. Initially, i merely thought that serial killers simply do not reflect on their actions, hence they don't feel sickened or saddened or scared by what they have done. I even concluded that insanity is just sanity without control. I guess my conclusion is applicable only to normal human beings. :)

I was also very apologetic that Yinglin was made to finish up all the nachos (with extra cheese!!) and popcorn that we bought. My ulcer hurt so much, that after managing only 2 Nacho Chips (by breaking them up into miniscule pieces somemore!), my ulcer ached so much, i refused to eat anymore. Just downright refused to. The popcorn was too large, because my ulcer ached to the extent of me not able to open my jaws wide enough. It was a horrendous feeling. I practically not eat anything the whole day. The pain prompted me to purchase an ulcer cream. In the night, when i shined a torch (more specifically, a bicycle light, because all the torches seemed to have mysteriously vanished from my house. I wonder how we will ever manage when a black-out occurs), i saw the ulcer. The ulcers. It was right beside my surgical wound, and they are freaking huge and deep!! Yinglin was right. I ate so much painkillers that i failed to realized that i had bit my own mouth during the swelling. Shit. As a result, i also had to cancel my wakeboarding session with my friends on Wednesday, and that's really pissing me off. Arrghh.

After the movie, i forced a hot scone down in case i felt like fainting from a lack of food or something. A delicious scone that normally took me 5minutes, took me 40. Sickening. But if you ever want sumptous scones, get it from Coffee Bean!! They are the yummiest!

My buddy, Yinglin.

Ok, i got to run for the dinner party at Jiawei's house now. Will update more about today later in the night or something.

P/S: I completed the novel, The Dragon by Ree Soesbee.

The old lady on the overhead bridge

2005-07-09T02:49:00.000+10:00

My mum and i were crossing the overhead bridge when we saw this elderly lady sitting on the ground. A small bowl laid in front of her, with a few notes and some strewn coins. She was a beggar. I was shocked.

We walked past her. I nudged my mother and i asked her why she didn't give the old lady any money. Standing at a distance, my mum fumbled around in her bag, looking for some small change. We backtracked towards the old lady.

She saw us, and she smiled. She cupped her hands and helped them up to us. A sign of begging.

When i saw that, i was hit by a stinging wave of sadness. I looked away. I couldn't bear to stare at her any longer. I didn't know why i felt like that. When i came back and reflected upon that incident, i realized i felt ashamed. I felt totally bad that this lady who was so advanced in age, had to bear such a burden, and i could do nothing about it. Sure i could have given more money, but would that help?

I know my mum normally do not dispense money to beggars easily because there are a lot of frauds cheating the money of kind-hearted people. But i knew why my mum gave that particular lady money. The same reason why i cannot wash the image of the old lady out of mind, and why i feel so sad for her. Because the old lady reminded me of my late grandmother, and for my mother, her mum.

Why did this old lady end up begging on the overhead bridge? Where is her family? Why is she doing this?

At her age, she should be at home, enjoying her life after labouring and tolling for so many years. At this age, she should be proud with her children's acheivements. She should be surrounded by grandchildren, and finally enjoying the fruits of her labour.

But no. She isn't. She is stuck on that bridge, rain or shine, reaching out to people, in the hope that they would notice her, and spare her some coins. Begging. A hard job, where you have to grit your teeth and bear the degrading nature of the job itself. At this age, and still have to suffer such an insult to her pride. And she can still smile and take it in her stride. This is so fucked-up.

Do you know why i am ashamed? Let me tell you this. She's an elder. Since young, it has been drilled into us that the elders must be respected. And yet, this old lady is begging. Cupping her hands and reaching out to us. Smiling as she receive some fucking coins from us. This is not how it should be. It should have never been like this. We should be the one receiving from her. Not the other way round.

Where are her children? Why are they doing this to her? Why? Why?! These fucking unfilial shit. I hope they are banished to the depths of burning hell.

Don't give me the crap that the old lady insist on begging because she's bored. If she's bored, there are constructive things like community centres that have been established for the sole purpose of residents mingling and socializing, or doing community work.

God, i can't forget the image of her cupped hands reaching out to my mother and i for money, and her thankful smile after.

I am such an idiot. All i could manage was a faint smile in return, and a rather depressed wave of my hand. Fuck.

Chinatown

2005-07-09T00:38:00.000+10:00

Accompanied my mum to work today before going to Chinatown today.

My mum's office was freezing. It was the first time i started shivering from the cold since i stepped foot onto humid Singapore. When my mum told me her office would be chilly, i arrogantly stated that if i could handle the cold weather in Melbourne, her office would be chicken-feed. Yeah right. What a pompous ass i am. So i was sitting in my mum's office daydreaming whilst she busied herself. I realized something. My mum kept asking me whether i was bored, and as a result, gave me some of her work to do, when i was just sitting back in my chair, staring into space. No matter how much i tried to tell her that i was not bored, she kept trying to entertain me amidst her hectic schedule, like getting tidbits etc etc. It dawned upon me that my mum really is the kind that just cannot sit back and relax. She needs to have something to work on, all the time. Now i know where i get some of my character traits from. Anyhow, i was feeling a little sleepy as i sat in her office. completing some of the tasks she had dictated for me. Office work really ain't my cup of tea. It is agonizingly monotonous and boring. You really need to have a passion to do finance and accounts. Yucks. Oh, i bought tidbits Yan Yan and Pocky which i haven't eaten for a long time. Pocky is sold in Australia, but i doubt Yan Yan is.

Pocky. By the way, the newpaper in the background shows a the bloodied injuries suffered by one of the survivors in the London Blasts last night.

Yan Yan

You dip the biscuit sticks into the strawberry cream.

Met my cousin and his wife at my mum's workplace too. They work for the same company. I haven't really met or spoken to my cousin's wife before. And the few times i seen her, she was always very quiet, keeping to herself and whispering to her hubby, my cousin. Plus, when she came over to my house, she was trying her best not to shriek when my dogs came around. I can't stand girls who shriek or become all whimpy and scared when they see dogs. It just irritates the hell out of me. I don't know why. Maybe i have this impression that they are just acting all gentle and feminine, so that the guys will come and rescue them or something. Maybe they are just idiots. I mean if you are scared, shut your trap and stand one side. Don't be a prick screaming your head off. My brother's girlfriend used to do that, until i snapped at my brother for tying the dogs up when she's around. I don't see what a big shot she is, just to have to restrain my dogs when she visits. This is my house. These are my dogs. If you can't handle it, then get lost. Anyway, back to my cousin's wife. So i met her today and to my immense surprise, she chirpily said hallo to me, and started chatting. I was rather taken aback. Ah...never judge a book by its cover!

After work, we went down to Chinatown which was near my mum's workplace. I intended to purchase some shorts at the CK Department, but there weren't any to my taste. In the end, i made a beeline towards Adidas in the OG departmental store, and purchased 2 sports shorts. I am hoping Wai Han can persuade her brother to get a couple of durable PE (Physical Education) shorts for me from VJC (Victoria Junior College) where he is studying. Why not buy them myself since i am a former student? I doubt they would sell it to me? How can i prove that i was once a student there when i have since discarded my student card? So too bad. Anyway, at the departmental store, i was astounded to see this escalator. Haven't seen one like this before, one which moves on flat ground for a couple of metres before elevating. I feel damn suah koo.

We walked around before we ate our dinner. Saw the traditional Tu Tu Cakes being sold. They have the peanut ones or the coconut ones and they are absolutely delectable! Anyhow, armed with my handly Sony Ericsson K750i, i started taking shots of the lady making the Tu Tu Cakes. We bought 10. Haven't eaten them for a long time, and Australia doesn't sell them. You know, i think i may have grown fatter ever since i came back to Singapore. Being so hot, my metabolic rate naturally decreased, which means that i am burning up less calories per unit time. With the wonderful Asian cuisine, i am also eating more in a day. And because of my wisdom tooth surgery, i can't run because it is too strenous, and i can't walk the dogs in the afternoon under the scorching sum because of my swollen cheek. It would be too dark to walk them in the night. So i am adding calories instead of burning them. This tranlates to really bad news. Looks like my gym regimen has to be kick-started the minute i arrive in Melbourne.

The steamers used to heat up the Tu Tu cakes.

The aunty making the Tu Tu cake first.

The finishing touch by adding the final layer of rice flour to seal up the peanuts.

Placing the completed Tu Tu cakes into the steamer.

I saw some Nonya kuehs, which are part of the Peranakan cuisine. I was jeering my mum in jest for not knowing that the kuehs were Peranakan foodstuff and i knew. My father is a Chinese Peranakan, but my mom is pure chinese that's why.

The colourful assortment of Nonya Kuehs.

They were also selling herbal tea eggs. I am not sure what's the difference between these eggs and the normal chicken eggs? Correct me if i am wrong, but i think the only difference is that one is boiled in ~~soya sauce soup~~ tea leaves or something, to give it a darker colour.

We finally settled down to eat on one of the small streets of Chinatown. My mum went beserk i think. Having eaten so much tidbits, i didn't really want to eat my dinner. I decided to appease her by ordering fried oysters, in case she thinks i am on a diet, and further extrapolates that i often skip meals and go on diets in Melbourne even though i innocently claim to do no such thing. She wouldn't believe me even if i said so. Anyhow, upon her insistence, she went to purchase kway chap, with a huge dish of additional meat, beancurd and pig intestines to go along, and later on, peanut tang yuan. And all just for the both of us. Pure madness. Needless to say, we barely finished half of it. My mum proceeded to berate me in mock anger for wasting her money and her stating never to eat out with me again. I chuckled inwardly. Whatever. She further admitted that when i am not in Singapore, she never dared to have such a huge appetitie. I wonder what the hell she's implying!!

Oh, don't get put off by the pig intestines. It is not as bad as you think. It taste fabulous, especially with chilli sauce.

Kuay Chap

The both of us basically picked and ate only the fried egg. We don't really know how to consume the oysters. Only my brother likes them. The oysters however, make the fried egg taste better than normal.

Tang Yuan, which we normally eat during the Chinese Lantern Festival.

We bought Chestnuts too!! Have been wanting to eat them since the KL trip. But never got the chance to, till today.

Nowadays, they quite hi-tech. The chesnuts are packaged in a very nice bag, and even a chestnut cracker is provided. Last time, they used to shove the chestnuts into crumpled yellow paper bags, and no crackers were provided. You are expects to crack the damn nuts yourself. I was therefore, plesantly surprised to see the vast improvement. It is obvious it has been a long time since i ate chestnuts.

The one on the left is the one i have cracked open, leaving only the sumptous fleshy bit. The one on the right is the one with the shell still intact.

You are probably wondering how the hell i can masticate all this since i have only half a mouth. Well, because of my enthusiasm for food, i have been ignoring the wound, and trying my best to chew using only the right side of my mouth. Especially since i didn't suffer any pain. Well, thanks to the swelling of my cheek, i have been unknowingly chewing the inside of my mouth, so now i got an ulcer. And the pain is coming from my ulcer and not the wound. Dumb right? Well, no worries, i have adapted to that as well. By using my tongue to mash the food against the roof of my mouth! Haha! Why go to all this trouble? Simple. I am departing in less than a week. If i don't enjoy the Asian food now, i will have to wait till November, when i get back home. That is really crazy.

By the way, if you are browsing through my archives and some of the photos are not appearing, it's because i have exceeded the disk space allocated for a free account in Photobucket. Consequently, i deleted many of the older photos. Unless i can find a free unlimited hosting service, this will have to suffice.

武侠片 - Martial Art Films

2005-07-08T02:19:00.000+10:00

I have cooped myself up at home after half my face started swelling, as the inflammation process kicked in, a natural occurence. The dentist said the swelling will be at its worst on the second day, which was yesterday. Indeed it did. And it has yet to subside, even up till now. So half my face is squarish and the other is roundish. I look like utter crap. But that aside, i am thankful i haven't felt any pain at all. Maybe just an uncomfortable and inconvenient sensation, but nevertheless, not distressing.

Of course, with my self-imposed 'calaboose', i had to do something to ease my boredom, and to restrain myself from disturbing and upsetting the dogs too much. You see, i have a tendency to 'provoke' my dogs, and prevent them from sleeping the whole day away, if i am too bored. So i searched for the VCDs that i bought a long time ago, but have not forgotten about, and whipped them out to start watching. And i haven't stopped till i completed the 30 discs series.

I simply love martial art films. They are just so cool. True, the digital effects are visibly fake, almost comical, but still. I especially love this particular martial arts actor, who goes by the name of Zhao Wen Zhuo (赵文卓) or Chiu Man Cheuk. In fact, he stars in a lot of martial art films. I am keen on collecting all of them. But that will have to wait till end of next semester, i am damn broke and have no time right now. I just watched and it's really good! The fanciful swordplay, and the different treasures that can trigger off different kinds of powers, and the different sects each skilled in their own set of invincible techniques. It is simply marvellous.

Why do i ~~like~~ love martial art films? For a simple reason. Such films always have the same common underlying topic of honour and intergrity, filial piety and loyalty, all leading to glory and fame that is not the monetary or authority kind. This is what intrigues me, and what impresses me. It never fails to portray that fame, money and power are all fleeting and true happiness can only come about from helping people who are at a disadvantaged. It is equivalent to the westernized Robin Hood, except that the skills and fighting are much much better. I especially like the different sects of fighters (各种门派的大侠), which each posses their own unique swordplay, their unique treasures and specialities (just like how each X-Men have their own special ability!), and how to come together to compete to see which is the ultimate one. Plus, in Chinese martial art films, both guys and girls can be skilled, there is no gender discrimination, which is also ironic, considering such films always take place in early China. Plus, martial art films almost always never have sad endings. The hero and the heroine always end up together, and live happily ever after, or at least if one dies, the other will also follow suit, and they will be together in the other world. So it is a bitter-sweet ending. Oh, and the good always triumphs over the evil. I'm also fascinated with the swordplay. It's extraordinary. It's spectacular. It's awe-inspiring! It's... I can just go on and on praising martial art films!

Anyhow, i just watched 大醉侠 also called Drunken Hero, when translated. Lovely show. Suave lead actor, beautiful lead actress. I especially like the plot. It is about this emperor who was being ousted. He has 2 pearls, one called 水龙珠 (Water Dragon Pearl) and the other called 火龙珠 (Fire Dragon Pearl) and as well as a well-hidden treasure that everyone is after, including the court attendent, a eunuch, who betrayed him. Anyhow, out of desperation, he popped each pearl into each of his sons, before sending them off with 7 of his highly-skilled and most trusted aides for protection. Unfortunately, his elder son was snatched and taken away by the eunuch. The other was taken care of my his aide. So for 20 years, they remained hidden. Both boys developed and flourished under completely different environments. Not surprisingly, one grew up to filled with hatred, revenge, greed and envy, the other is practically a saint, helping to rid the kingdom of bandits and the scum of society, as well as influencing the people around him to have forgiveness and all. The 7 aides each have a map tatooed onto their backs. When the 7 different maps are brought together, the hidden treasure can be found. Hence, they were also highly pursued. As a result, they had to scatter and remain hidden. Of course, after 20 years they reunited, and the story is how they managed to overcome the eunuch, and then later, the evil elder brother, who was always jealous and thought it unfair that it was he who was kidnapped and had to grow up in such a hostile environment, and to be denyed of his rightful place as Emperor.

This is the show that i watched. Click on it to go to read the synopsis further or to view the cast. The synopsis, is however in Mandarin.

This is my all-time favourite martial arts actor!!! Clicking on the photos will bring you to the site where i found them. Yes, i put not 1, not 2, but 3 photos of him, because i can't get enough of him! :)
You know, to keep himself in tip-top condition, he runs 10km on a daily basis and works out for 3 intense hours in the gym everyday! That's impressive man!

He looks the sexiest in this last shot!!! Haha. Did i make known the fact that i especially love guys with moustaches and goatees?? *Grins*

So little said, but so much accomplished

2005-07-07T01:06:00.000+10:00

So i will be leaving in a little more than a week. I think my parents are starting to prepare themselves already. Maybe they prepared themselves long before today, but today they showed some subtle 'symptoms'. Either that, or i am the one not willing to leave and thus became over-sensitive to their behaviour.

As you know i just had the wisdom tooth surgery, so i was accompanying my parents this morning as my father dropped my mum off to work, before heading to the dentist together with me. He then insisted we have breakfast together first. That's fine with me. But he suggested Char Kway Teow. That's an extremely oily and heaty dish of kuay teow and noodles. Very bad if you only have half a mouth left to chew, and even worse when the dish is slightly spicy. I objected, but he brushed aside my apprehension and attempted to convince me that it was all right, since he also ate it when he just extracted his tooth. But i am sure that was a totally different scenrio then. I am positive the extraction of his tooth required no anaesthetic or stitches. By the way, the dentist told me he gave me 2 stitches when i enquired. I promptly gasped that that was very little much to his amusement. I was expecting 5 or 6. Haha.

Anyway, i relented, because my father was so keen to have Char Kway Teow for brunch. I was initially appalled that my father was really so dense about post-operative care, and what not-to-dos and the what-you-can-dos. But i slowly realized that that is just my father's way of expressing himself, of expressing his care. Ok, i am not going to use the word 'love' here because it is too mushy, and it is making me cringe. Badly. We are not such an open family regarding our emotions. We are rather conservative. Anyhow, i guess my father just wanted to spend some father-daughter time with me, and he really didn't know how to show it, so i guess in his opinion, what could be better than to have brunch together over one of his favourite dishes? And if he did express himself clearly, i would have been too stunned and embarassed to react anyway, and things would become too awkward. It's better to be formal when it comes to feelings.

Over breakfast, i took my own time to eat, whilst my father finished his quickly. Then he took out a cigarette and inhaled slowly as he waited patiently for me. That, i feel, is quite unusual, considering that my father is a rather impatient man. Plus, normally, if he finished his meal first, he would leave the table and walk around, exploring the area by himself, and we would ring him on his mobile once we were done. But it wasn't so today. Maybe because i just completed my surgery. Maybe. But not likely. So we didn't talk at all during breakfast, just a comfortable silence hanging between the both of us.

In the car, on the way home, he started talking about people that he had come across. Normally, i would pretend to fall asleep, but i would actually be listening. Why behave like this? Because i don't want my father to get carried away in his conversation once he realize he has an interested listener. Today, i did the same thing. But i think he knows that i am listening, because despite my closed eyes, he continued his conversation. And despite myself, i engaged him in his conversation. Normally silence reigns in the car. And my father only talks when my mum or my brother are in the car. He doesn't always talk with me, because i am unresponsive or i have no opinions. I think he thinks i am not interested. Whatever. So today was different. Today i decided to respond. I have decided that my parents are getting lonely, they need someone to talk to. My brother is an idiot who only makes them worry, and so it is up to me. Especially since i am the daughter. Plus i think my father miss having me to argue with him.

When we got home, i pumped my soccer ball up, and started kicking it around in the house. If my brother had done that, my father would have yelled at him to stop. Instead, my father just gave me a half-hearted warning not to make too much noise in the house, which i of course, didn't heed. And he let me kicked the ball around the house to my heart's content. If this is not a sign, i don't know what is.

Then in the night, my mum actually came home early. She usually works nights as well. Don't ask me, she is a workaholic. She loves her job so much that when she has spare time at home, she feels bored and maybe even stressed. She made all her nights free last week, and told me she will work in the nights this week instead. But tonight, she said she was free. Actually, she came home early last night too. I am not dumb. It was a sign. We had dinner together at the table. With homecooked food (by the maid). Apparently, when i am in Australia, my mum always comes home late, the maid doesn't cook, and everyone else has their meals separately, which is crazy i think. When i got back, i demanded that the maid cook. I don't know. I just like having meals with family, even if it is only one or 2 members, or just with my dogs. Somehow, after my stint in Australia, having cereal for dinner, sitting alone in the living room and peering out of the window to see the traffic is really lonely. And so i had my dinner with my mum. Even though both of us were silent. She eating and reading the papers, and i eating, and straining my eyes to watch the show on TV halfway across the apartment. It ain't the talk. It is just the time and feelings spent together.

After dinner, my mum and i walked the dogs over to my cousins' house. It was a 50 minutes walk just to get there. I felt like dying. Haha. Again, we didn't speak much. Only ocassionally when something come in mine or my mother's mind. After discussing it, we would lapse into an untroubled silence again.

So little said, but so much accomplished.

Now for my brother. The sickening, most irritating rascal of my life.

Mannequins for practice

2005-07-06T14:40:00.000+10:00

Remember i took a compulsory first-aid course a couple of weeks back? We practiced EAR (Expired Air Resuscitation) and CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) on this mannequin called Little Annie.

I was intrigued at the point of time (though later i forgot all about it until now). Why was the mannequin called Little Annie? Why Annie? My friend, Jiawei, said that she was so named after a little girl who died when she fell into a lake, and no one knew how to perfrom CPR. That made things a whole lot more fascinating.

Anyhow, i was researching online just now, and i realized the origins of the name. And it is not as tear-jerking as we thought it to be, but nevertheless, poignant.

An Excerpt:

While there are many CPR dummies or mannequins on the market, the face of the one most widely used was modeled on that of an anonymous young woman whose body was fished from the Seine around the turn of the 20th century. It was believed she had taken her own life, but since she was never identified, no details of her life were known and the events leading to her demise remain a mystery.

The unknown girl was entered in the books at the Paris morgue as "ecadavre feminin inconnu" (unknown female cadaver) before her remains were disposed of in an unmarked pauper's grave. A death mask was made of her features, but it is unclear if this was done in furtherance of attempts to establish her identity or because an unnamed morgue attendant was so taken by her visage that he took it upon himself to craft a memento of her beauty. (It is not true that death masks were routinely made of all decedents who graced the Paris morgue with their presence. Instead, beginning in 1881, the bodies of up to fourteen unknown persons would be laid out in a chilled room fronted by a plate glass window before which an endless train of the curious would pass, in hopes that some of the passersby would recognize some of the morgue's unidentified guests. Unknown Paris, a volume of engravings from 1893 about the city's less savory landmarks, said of it: "There is not a single window in Paris that attracts more onlookers than this.")

The death mask of the girl who came to be known as "L'Inconnue de la Seine" made it out of the morgue by unknown means and into the souvenir shops. Its serene beauty, displaying a calm repose the real girl had perhaps not known in life, spoke to people. The mask took on a life of its own, becoming a "must have" objet d'art, and several factories were engaged at once to produce it in vast numbers.

In the mid-1950s, Dr. Peter Safar, a pioneer in emergency medicine, developed a method of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation combined with chest compression; in 1958 he presented a paper on this technique in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Safar believed his methods could be employed by those outside the medical field to save lives, provided these laypeople were given adequate training in his techniques. To more effectively teach this procedure to them, he envisioned having a life-sized doll that novices to cardiopulmonary resuscitation could practice on, and so he approached toymaker Asmund Laerdal with the idea of developing a realistic mannequin for CPR training. Laerdal took up the challenge.

The face Laerdal used for his training dummy was that of "L'Inconnue de la Seine," the by-then well-traveled death mask of an unknown Parisian girl. The modern CPR dummy was built in 1960 and sold under the name "Resusci Anne." In North America she has been christened "CPR Annie." Many a student of basic CPR has been taught to check if a patient is unconscious by gently shaking the doll and calling, "Annie, Annie, are you OK?"

The legend collides with reality in that while the doctor behind the creation of CPR Annie did not model its face after that of his deceased daughter, he was indeed the father of a girl who died in childhood. In 1954, Dr. Peter Safar and his wife, Eva, produced a daughter, whom they named Elizabeth. This girl child came into the world prematurely, and soon after her birth she was diagnosed with severe asthma. She suffered from this malady throughout her brief life, which ended at age eleven in 1966 after she underwent an asthma attack and slipped into a coma...

Read more here.
You can read more about the doctor, Dr Peter Safar here and here (timeline).

Then, i was blogsurfing through Tokyo Times, when i saw one of his entries, about yet another mannequin. What is it with us and dummies anyway??

Anyhow, this company manufactures these dolls to help train nurses in caring for the old and the infirm. Frankly, it looks kind of spooky to me, because it looks so real. And from the way i see it, the skin of the mannequin really looks and feels like that of a real person. That's way too creepy man.

First Wisdom Tooth Surgery

2005-07-05T22:41:00.000+10:00

Wisdom tooth surgery. I am praying i won't have to go through that shit again. Once is enough. Rest assured i will remember it for life. I am hoping the other wisdom teeth i have stay put, and never come out.

Don't get me wrong. It ain't painful. Serious. I haven't feel any pain yet. But i bet since i have stated it, the pain will be bound to haunt me later on in the night.

The procedure was very fast. Extremely quick. Over and done with in under 10 minutes.

If the whole process was fast and painless, why am i widhing i never go through it again?
Simple. It was frightening. And a time filled with a whole lot of tension.

I went to the dentist. Surprisingly, i wasn't nervous at all. Actually i didn't feel anything. My parents were actually more anxious than me, and that got me a little irritated. I nearly yelled at them.

I sat on the dentist chair, and the dentist placed a cotton wool at the site of the surgery. Before he put the ball of cotton wool in my mouth, i saw that it was stained a crimson red. In that instant, i actually had the nerve to think that he didn't notice the cottonwool was stained with someone else's blood. I actually imagined that he recycled his stuff. I am crazy. It was obviously not true. It was just my overactive imagination. Anyhow, it numbed that area.

I was waiting. And i thought that the times have changed. Local anaesthetic no longer needed to be injected. They can just be swabbed onto the area. Needless to say, i was running through the bare little pharmacology knowledge i have, and i did recall something about some medicine being submandibular that can be absorbed directly into the circulation. Of course, i conveniently forgot that anaesthetic is administered into a nerve, not the blood. And that submandibular means to be placed under the tongue, which is obviously not the site of the surgery. I was a little relieved, but still a little in disbelief. That i could be spared from the pain of a needle.

Fat hope.

I don't know what that cotton wool was for. But i soon found out that i wasn't spared from the needle, and that the times have not advances as far on as i would have liked it to be. Did i mention i hate needles? Well, the dentist started counting down. I wanted him to shut up and not tell me when he was going to jab me, but it is really a tricky thing to do when there are so many apparatus in your mouth, and you do not really want to move your mouth so much, for fear of distracting the doctor or (gasp!) get into the way. So yeah, i knew when he was going to poke the needle into my gum. It has been a long time since i have been poked in the gums. The only time i remember a dental injection was when i was 7 or 8. I accompanied my brother to the dentist. He had to extract his tooth. And the female dentist and my mum were reassuring my brother that the injection wasn't painful. And bless me, at that time, i was behind the dentist, and i was in full sight of the syringe that the dentist was hiding beside her. And i can also remember my eyes widening at that time, and thinking to myself that my brother was in some serious shit, and boy was i glad i wasn't in that hot seat. But the image of the syringe was seared into my mind. It was huge. I mean it. I was so damn scared when i saw it.

And i happened to conjure that image from the deep recesses of my mind, as i awaited my turn. It wasn't very helpful. But it didn't hurt too bad. It was bearable. It was just a mild sting after which it disappeared. The doctor then rattled of some scale asking me to indicate what number of pain am i at now. As you know, i was so busy trying to chase the bad memories from my mind, i have no idea what the dentist said previously. I couldn't remember whether on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 means the most pain or no pain at all. I was pretty screwed. And instead of asking (i dropped the habit of clarifying ever since my prac incident), i just choose a number i deemed the safest. 2. So as he prodded around in my mouth, he asked again. Seriously, i have no idea how to judge the intensity of any pain because i have a high threshold, and i didn't want him to adminster too little anaesthetic. So i kept holding 2 fingers up. And then i did feel something, and so i added a chopping signal. To mean 2.5. He nearly thought i meant 4. Come to think of it, he said to indicate if i felt any pain. I didn't feel any pain, i just felt something. At that point, i thought to hell with it. More anaesthetic is better than too little. Anyhow, he must have added a lot, he jabbed twice. So much so, my mouth remained numb for 6 hours after the surgery. It was really funny. And i was playfully scaring myself that he must have accidentally severed the mandibular branch of my trigeminal nerve (a brief (the briefiest, i must add!) anatomy lesson courtesy of the dentist. And this time, i even clarified about the name of the nerve!). Like i say, i have a hyperactive imagination.

After the injections, i sat around in the chair. I sat there for so long, i actually thought the dentist had extracted my tooth without me knowing. I was quite impressed. Especially when i rinsed my mouth and spat out the water, i saw it was red in colour. That would be damn skilful. Again, i was to be disappointed. We were sitting around for the anaesthetic to kick in.

Finally, the 'highlight' of the day started.

I told the dentist that i didn't want to see any of the instruments he was using. He chuckled and said, "How can you chop up people if you are so scared?'

"I can chop other people. But i can't do it if it is on myself." i retorted.

It's true. It is always easier to do something on others than yourself. Sadistic.

Anyhow, i looked away on the other side of the room to avoid looking at anything that would not serve me any good with my imagination running wild. But you know, we have a lot of senses. Although i could hinder my sense of sight, it is impossible to do the same with your sense of hearing. I heard the doctor tear open his packet of sterilized instruments. I heard him pour out the instruments. I heard the metal instruments rattling out. I heard them hitting the metal tray with a dull clang. I felt my heart started to pound. I was getting nervous. Metal against metal. I don't like the sound of that. I was even more determined that i don't see anything awful. I could already imagine the sharp blade slicing through my gums, and the sharp pain that would hit me despite the anasthetic. I was getting worried.

The moment the dentist sat himself beside me, i shut my eyes. See no evil, that was my mantra. Haha. But my sense of hearing sharpened.

It was horrible. You don't see anything, and you don't feel the pain, but you definitely can feel the pressure applied by the dentist.

First i heard a scrapping sound. And i felt the dentist sawing in my gums. How can i tell? Because i can fucking feel the sawing motions in my mouth, the forwards backwards motion. I wanted to faint. What the fuck are you sawing for?? There ain't no tree in my mouth!

That ain't the worse. After the saw, i heard a sound that turned my blood cold. The sound of a power drill. I really panicked. A drill?! A drill??? I have no idea what the hell he drilled in my mouth, but i am not keen on finding out in this lifetime. Maybe the next. Actually, never i hope.

I thought we should be done after the drilling. I mean, why wouldn't the simple task of tooth extraction be completed with heavy machinery like a freaking power drill right? Right?! Surely bone against metal, bone will give in right?

Wrong. The next set of motion i felt contrived to mind the image of a pair of pliers. I could feel the doctor trying to pull something out. And i swear, it would have hurt like hell. Many thanks to Sir Humpry Davy who discovered anasthetic properties. Phew.

And i was done.

After a couple of mothfuls of rinsing, and spitting out the blood, i was done. No pain at all.

It went smoothly. In fact, i could eat. Not just soft foods like porridge, mind you. Bread, iced coffee, rice balls, i ate them all. Haha.

My mother couldn't believe that i wasn't in any pain. She thought i was crazy.

It really is ok. The only pain i feel now is when i swallow, and the pain is like that of a mild sore throat. I didn't know your gums play such a vital role in swallowing!

P/S: Just for interest sake, this is a diagram showing the trigeminal nerve. I think V3 is the madibular branch. Correct me if i am wrong.

I Say: To love ... is to obey

2005-07-05T14:39:00.000+10:00

There seems to be plenty of hot-topics abound in the newspapers these days.

Here's one, regarding the role of a woman in her family. Should she submit to her husband or should she assert her independence?

I Say: To love ... is to obey

An Excerpt:

A marriage is not an equal partnership, where a couple are looking constantly to ensure that everything is divided 50-50. That makes us calculative and mean, and reduces the marriage to a conditional clause: As long as he lives up to his end of the bargain, so will I.

Instead of looking for the right person to be our spouse, we have to be the right person for them. We have to give 110 per cent without any conditions or strings attached to the marriage contract — which, hopefully, we enter into with our eyes open.

The marriage vow basically says that even if a husband turns out to be a scumbag or a couch potato who cares more for Man U than for his mother-in-law, we still have to accept him.

My husband and I have demanding careers, but when we come home, I give him a sponge bath even if I am tired. I prepare supper, and yes, I do peel prawns for him. I do so without asking for anything in return.

He is the head of the household. When it comes to any major decision, his vote counts for 60 per cent, and mine for 40 per cent. My grandfather was right. This is difficult. I find it challenging to submit to my husband.

But I discovered that once I learned to obey him, it gave him a greater sense of responsibility, of wanting to take care of the family even more. In addition, when my children see that I obey him, they learn to obey him and respect him as a father.

Being the heart of the family, my role is to complement, and not to compete with, his. I never challenge his views in front of others, which would make him feel small, insignificant and disrespected. We try not to fight or quarrel in front of the children...

Read more here.

After reading this article, i am greatly appalled. And flabbergasted. And amazed. And a whole lot of other emotions, all with negative connotations. Do you see where all the flaws in this lady's opinions are coming from? She is a University Graduate, but the blasphemous stuff she's uttering is astonishing.

I totally agree with her that we should give a 110% in a marriage. But to do that even when the husband is a couch potato or a scumbag or some motherf**ker? That's ridiculous. That's equivalent to saying that the wife should stay in a marriage and continue to accept and live under the same roof, even though the husband is a wife-beater, a raging alcoholic, or a downright abusive sloth. Are you sure? I don't think so. That's suicide and stupidity.

A marriage, i feel, is a union between the man and the woman. Both parties must help out in this union. There is no such thing as submission or whatsoever. This is not a master-slave relationship. Both must feel responsible. Both must feel comfortable with what the other expects one to do. It doesn't matter who submits. Hell, i don't even like the word submit. There is no such thing in a marriage. It doesn't matter who gives in. It is not a sign of weakness. It matters if the person giving in all the time is the same one person, and is being exploited by the other. That's not right then, because the essence of respect is absent.

There's another frightful point that this write brought up. To obey the husband, is to instill a greater sense of responsibility towards the family in him. Are you bloody kidding me? The husband must be willing to give a 110% to the family all the time, just like the wife. A family is not a unit made up of independent individuals. If you want to set up a family, then you jolly well put in the effort, and not wait for the wife to look after you, slave after you and obey your evry whim. That's wrong. Both will be doomed from the start. There must be love, with no conditions attached.

Decision-making is not always a clear cut 60%-40% ratio. That's dumb. Marriage is not a math paper, where application of Mathematical formulae would lead to success. Decision-making is a mutual thing, one based on trust, and one that both agrees upon amiciably. Sometimes the husband has more say, because he simply knows better, and has more experience in that particular area, but sometimes the wife knows better. And the husband shouldn't feel inferior or useless as a result. Likewise, when the Husband has a greater part in the decision, the Wife should understand that allowing him to do so is not a sign of submission.

Anyhow, here are some of the other comments.

Obedience or subservience?

An Excerpt:

THERE is nothing more Neanderthal, so some think, than telling a modern woman she should obey her husband.

But when a university-educated career woman asserts that wifely submission is the key to her happy, 17-year marriage, it calls for readers to put aside their knee-jerk reactions and look at what she is really saying.

The many objections to Frances Ong Hock Lin's commentary, "To love ... is to obey" (June 28) were to be expected (they made up two-thirds of the 40 letters received). So let's start instead with those few readers who agree with her...

Read more here.

And the latest article by the author who caused all this debate.

First a wife, then a career woman

An Excerpt:

Modern marriages might benefit if women rediscovered their feminine side

I WAS chastised by reader Eunice Lim ("Obedience or subservience?", July 2, 2005) for having my judgment "clouded" by my grandfather's "obsolete concept of family values". "Two generations, one Women's Charter, and numerous amendments later, they no longer deserve any place in society", she asserted.

In Singapore, the divorce rate is rising. There are more single, highly educated women now than two generations ago. A growing number of Singaporean men prefer to marry women from Vietnam and China.

While there are many factors contributing to this situation, one reason could be that, with education, women are now less willing to work at a marriage when they encounter problems. Financially independent, it is much easier for them to throw in the towel.

I believe that more women are walking out of marriages nowadays because they have lost that feminine touch. In the past, women accepted that they were feminine. Being feminine does not make one weak...

Read more here.

I personally think this reader sums it up nicely.

"Equality comes from the ability to make a choice. Men should never expect their wives to submit, and if a woman does, the man would do well to remember that she does it because she chooses to — and not because it is his right to have a submissive wife."

Pre-medication

2005-07-05T00:04:00.000+10:00

So tomorrow i am heading for my wisdom tooth surgery in the morning. I have started on my course of pre-medication. Got hell of a lot of stuff to take. 2 capsules of antibiotics, thrice a day, 1 tablet to reduce swelling, also thrice a day. My friends are bewildered. Apparently, they never had to embark on a course of pre-medication before their wisdom tooth surgery. Not sure why i have no, but no cause for hysteria, as i completely comprehend the dentist's logic. He wants me to start the medication first to ensure that sufficient medication gets into my circulation by the time i go for my surgery tomorrow. First-pass metabolism. Some of the medicine absorped by your body is broken down by the liver and removed from the body before their effects can be utilized. So taking the pre-medication earlier, will ensure a higher concentration of the drugs in your blood, and thus ease my discomfort after the surgery.

I am not nervous at all, not yet i guess. We shall see tomorrow.

Anyhow, i bought the Les Choristes soundtrack. It's simply beautiful. Beautiful. Mesmerizing. No other words to describe it. Lovely.

Went to watch Mr and Mrs Smith today with Yinglin. I heard a lot of mixed reviews about it. And they all belong to extreme end. Some praised it to the high heavens, others scorned at it. I watched it, because Angelina Jolie looked very good in the movie poster and that all the views i heard have one thing in common - Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had very strong on-screen chemistry. Plus, a sentence uttered by Jennifer (my friend) that i could not forget. She said, "How could anyone not like Angelina Jolie?" I was quite confused, almost perturbed by that statement. Why not? Ha ha. I never found out.

Anyhow, i think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are really good actors. This is the first time i think Brad Pitt can act. Usually, when someone mentions his name, i will just think that he is a guy that everyone thinks is cute (me excluded). But today, i saw that he had a flair for acting. And Angelina Jolie was sexy. Alas, the plot and the directing of the script was dumb. Plainly boring and clique. So if you are contemplating watching it, watch it if you have nothing left to do, or if you want to see the chemistry sizzle between the leading cast. If you want to appreciate a good show, i suggest you turn to some other shows then.

Yinglin and i then made a on-the-spur-of-the-moment decision to go for a haircut. Let's just say that i have a very different haircut, so much so i can't get use to it. In fact, i keep thinking i look like a bouncer. And i don't know why. Last time, i thought i looked like an apple, the time before last, a mushroom. Now this. I think that the hairstyle makes me look disproportional. But Yinglin kept saying otherwise. Ha ha, what's done is done. I am fine with it. The bouncer impression will wear off soon...i hope.

Met up with Irene for dinner, where i have to admit i was completely outrageously broke. The haircut was unplanned. I had only 65 cents for Buger King. And let's just say, there is simply nothing to eat with something less than a dollar. It was pathetic. Irene offered to blanjah me, which i politely but firmly refused. Overspending. I deserve the consequences. Now i am indebted to Yinglin, since she has kindly offered to pay for my share first. I need to learn some self-discipline. My expenditure is getting from bad to worse. And i am prevented from working (Yinglin asked me to join her as a waitress, which i excitedly want to!!!), thanks to my surgery tomorrow and my departure in less than 2 weeks. Shit. It's not like i don't want to work for my own keep.

And how is it possible, i have to fly back so soon??!! I don't want!!! Don't get me wrong. I can't wait to resume my studies, but i am going to be all alone in my apartment. All my friends (non-med), and even Carol (no matter how much i complain about her bad habits!), won't be back till a week later. Hai.

Les Choristes

2005-07-04T02:52:00.000+10:00

I got sick of reading my novels, and spent the whole day watching telly, as a result.

Watched the film, a french film, Les Choristes, known as The Choir in English. A beautiful show, about a teacher disciplining a group of difficult boys, by teaching them to sing. And there was this boy (who really sung during the show) with a voice that is so beautiful, it's insane. The whole choir sang really well. It was because of the songs, which intrigued me to watch the show.

I hope i can get the soundtrack tomorrow. It's simply breath-taking.

2005-07-04T02:51:00.000+10:00

Jean-Baptiste Maunier, the boy with the voice of an angel and the haunting looks of a soulful singer.

Money-Minded world

2005-07-03T17:46:00.000+10:00

Another incident that i wanted to highlight a few days back, but my internet was screwed, so i couldn't.

Anyhow, whilst meeting up with Zhili on Friday, she was telling us about the fire at Plaza Singapura on 22 June 2005. Here's the clipping about the incident from The Straits Times, or Today, courtesy of the Singapore Civil Defence Force.

Anyhow, diners in Swensens all rushed to evacuate, but the annoying manager barred their paths and demanded that they paid for their meals first. So a long queue ensued, as people hurried to pay their 'dues'.

The behaviour of this particular manager is completely baffling. Is money more important than peoples' lives?? What exactly is wrong with our society nowadays? It seems that there are far more important things in life than life itself. It's amazing you know.

Subsequently, an irate diner sent a complaint to the newspapers. I can't find the link to the newspaper article, but i found it in a forum. You can read it here. Anyhow, here's the whole complaint.

TodayOnline, June 24, 2005

Fire! But they were told to pay first before leaving
Staff of restaurant blocked evacuating customers

I REFER to the small fire that broke out at Plaza Singapura on Tuesday night. While it was rather scary being at the scene, I thought the building's staff and management reacted quickly and professionally.

However, I'd like to draw attention to a dangerous and irresponsible act by one tenant.

A friend and I were having dinner at the Swensen's restaurant when the fire broke out.

Our dinner had only just been served and we had barely started eating, but it was smoking and there were requests on the public address system for everyone to leave immediately.

So, the customers in Swensen's got up to evacuate the site.

At this point, the staff of Swensen's blocked the way and insisted we pay before leaving.

This meant that around 30 people had to wait in line to pay, when the building had already been evacuated and smoke was filling the restaurant!

The manager told us they were given 15 minutes to collect payment before allowing us to leave.

The 15 minutes could easily have cost lives. What if something had exploded? Or if children had passed out from smoke inhalation?

I am disgusted at this ridiculous prioritising of money over life. I hope something can be done to prevent such irresponsible acts from occurring again.

Letter from NICHOLAS TAN WEN-YU

And this is what Swensens had to say. Click here to go to the forum.

FROM TODAY ONLINE

SWENSEN'S SORRY, OFFERS SWEETENER
---------------------------------
WE refer to the letter by Mr Nicholas Tan Wen-Yu, "Fire! But they were told to pay first before leaving" (June 24).

We have taken a very serious view of this matter and would like to assure Mr Tan and all our customers that in such a situation, our utmost concern would always be the safety and well-being of both our customers as well as our staff. This cannot be compromised.

At the time the evacuation order was made, there was already a queue at the cashier's counter. Diners were then advised that there was an evacuation. Our managers at that point tried to clear the process of cashiering quickly and were perhaps over-zealous in trying to close as many bills as possible.

In an event of an evacuation, our procedure calls for ceasing all activities immediately and this would include payment settlement. We apologise for the distress caused to Mr Tan and all other customers who might have felt the same.

Our safety procedures, among other standard operating procedures, form part of our managerial staff training. Nevertheless, a retraining process and a reiteration of customer safety measures is being immediately undertaken and we have made it more comprehensive and added more focus to this aspect.

We will endeavour to continue to provide a safe, comfortable and enjoyable experience for all our diners at all times. We have certainly learnt from this experience. The management and staff at Swensen's Plaza Singapura sincerely apologise for the distress caused, and this weekend, would like to extend a waiver of service charge to all customers.

Ambulance Blockers = Patient Killers?

2005-07-03T15:39:00.000+10:00

On Wednesday night, i headed with my friends to the pub for a drink (supposedly). Anyhow, we were stranded along the roadsides, flailing our arms like chickens as we attempted to flag down a taxi in desperation. But the roads were all jammed up, and no vacant cabs in sight. Then we heard the ever familiar wailing sound of a siren. A Civil Defence Ambulance was trying to pass through the crowded lane, but the other inconsiderate drivers were oblivious. They didn't even budge, despite the ear-busting, nerve-shrieking sound of the mournful siren. After 7 minutes, the ambulance only inched its way across the intersection. Can you imagine what would have happened to the unfortunate patient lying inside the ambulance? What would happen if the patient have a life-threatening condition? 1 minute is crucial, to determine the fine line between life and death, let alone 7 minutes!

My friends and i were mortified. I simply cannot understand how warped the mentality of some people are. I know they are eagar to club, hook up with some girl or guy and get laid, but come on man, there are greater priorities in life. A life could be at stake. I don't know what happened to the ambulance in the end. I can imagine the frustration of the ambulance driver. These self-centered, thoughtless buggers ought to be taught a lesson.

Anyhow, i was flipping through the papers a few days back, when i discovered someone else who had the same observation. He wrote in to the papers.

All ambulances are installed with a camera that can note down the senseless drivers license plate. They can fined or jailed. I prefer the latter. Such boorish behaviour should never be tolerated.

Those who block ambulances are caught on tape

An Excerpt:

I refer to the letter, "Reward drivers for civic consciousness" (June 27) by Mr Herbert Teo, and thank Mr Teo and other civic-minded drivers like him, who make a conscious effort to give way to emergency vehicles responding to distress calls.

Every second truly counts when we convey patients to hospitals in our ambulances.

The sooner a patient in critical condition arrives, the earlier life-saving treatment can be administered.

Unfortunately, a small minority fail to recognise this and obstruct our ambulances, despite the activation of loud sirens and flashing lights to alert them to give way.

Motorists must realise that by not giving way to emergency vehicles, they are not only committing a serious traffic offence but also endangering the lives of people who critically require the use of our emergency services.

As a deterrent measure, since September 2002, the Singapore Civil Defence Force has installed cameras onboard our fire engines and ambulances.

This allows us to capture the video footage of motorists who fail to give way when our emergency vehicles are on call.

The tape of such offences would be sent to the Traffic Police for follow-up action to be taken...

Read more here.

Wireless Woes

2005-07-03T02:48:00.000+10:00

My internet has been down the past 2 days, thanks to a glitch in the telephone line. Previously, i used cable. But during my stint in Australia, my mom had it replaced with wireless. And it's unstable as hell. I can't even use my wireless speakers for my stereos because they affect each other. The music emanated alternated between loud, soft or a complete silence, and my internet was disrupted. I switched the wireless speakers off, in irritation. Then, on Friday morning, the damn wireless refused to work. I was too busy to deal with it till today. Anyhow, i wouldn't have any idea, since i wasn't around when the wireless modem and adapters that come along with it were installed. So i wouldn't know what was happening. But my mom had to take off to Jakarta for her monthly business trip, so it was out of the question, getting her to fix it. My brother was simply too lazy and not bothered. He knew that i would get round to fixing it by hook or crook. That cunning tick. And i did. I called the company responsible for the network, several times, but it didn't help. I decide to ignore the problem and wait till my mum came back. Was lazing around the house the whole of today, and thus completed reading 2 novels. And then i still had time left in the night, and i was getting desperate to use the net. I felt cut off.

Eventually, i dismantled the entire device from my brother's computer, and installed it onto mine. After which, i went round the whole house, detaching the house phones from the sockets, because it was apparently a telephone line problem. Then i had to trial and error to see which line was faulty. In the end, i discovered the fault, and the rest is history. I got the damn thing to work.

I have got more photos on the way. On Thursday, i went to the Asian Civilizations Museum with Wai Han and my cousin, Gabriel to view the exhibition called, "Journey of Faith". It included the art and artifacts from the Vatican. Although the Vatican exhibition was the main highlight, there were other artifacts from the other major religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Islam. The museum was shrouded in so much darkness, it was near impossible to get any clear photos, since flash was not allowed. I think it is a ploy of the museum. But why not allow us to snap photos? I understand that the flash may damage some artifacts, but i am sure, increasing the intensity of the overhead lights by just a fraction wouldn't be harmful. The Vatican exhibition was cloaked in even more secrecy. No photos allowed, and i don't know why. I learnt a couple of amazing stuff from the exhibition, even though the hours of intense browsing through the different stations, and the straining of my ears to hear and understand the museum guide resulted in a very aching back, and tired feet.

Although Wai Han only enjoyed the Vatican exhibition, i was happy to browse through the sections on the other religions. The Vatican exhibition yielded alot of information that i didn't know prior to the visit, as well as strengthened certain information that i was doubtful about. It was good.

We went on to Cineleisure to watch War of the Worlds. Let me holler this. GO AND WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T! IT IS A MARVELLOUS SHOW! It really is. In the first part of the movie, you really feel the fear of the characters as the aliens started their attack. The effects were superb. There is no other way to put it. With the amount of money Spielberg can afford, you won't be disappointed. The way the buildings cracked, the roads spilt etc etc, you will be impressed. The only thing i don't like is the child actor, Dakota Fanning. She kept screaming and screaming. Yeah, i know she is supposed to act terrified, but that was way too much screaming. The screams were ringing in my ears, and reverberating in my head. I would have just knocked the kid unconscious, in a bid to shut her up, if i were Tom Cruise, but i guess it added to the effects of the movie. Despite the seriousness of the situation, there were some hilarious dialogue and action strewn in too. Like the part where Tom Cruise and his character's kids were in a house, after fleeing from the aliens. He attempted to feed them, with a loaf of bread. And he said, "Here's one for you, one for Rachael, one for Robbie and one for the house." And he carelessly flipped the last piece away. It was really funny, the flippant way he behaved. Go catch the movie, you will be missing out on a lot if you missed it.

After the amazing movie, we headed to Kinokuniyo. It was the last day to use te 20% coupons, and i had 2 of them. I bought a few books before which i have yet to touch. But no matter how i reason with myself not to purchase my books, it didn't work. I figured that i would buy those books ultimately, and i might as well buy them now with the 20% discount coupons i had. It would be cheaper over the long run. Got to see the big picture. And that was how i succumbed to the little shopaholic voice in my head. Didn't take much resistance, did it? I don't regret my purchases, though i am starting to get a little edgy about getting a job next semester. I can't afford to keep this up, depleting my bank account to finance my shopping sprees, even if it is over worthwhile stuff like books. I bought the William Faulkner's box set which includes the books, As i lay dying, Light in August and The Sound and the Fury, as well as the book, Callgirl by Jeanette L.Angell. It was in fact, the last book on the shelf. Thank God i was in time. It was actually recommended in The Age. I read about it when i was in Australia.

In the process of browsing in Kinokuniya, i was busy looking at the books stacked neatly on the bookshelves as i walked slowly past them, when i was halted in my tracks by this girl who materialized in front of me.
"Do you want to come for Bible study?" she asked politely.
I stared at her, unable to believe what i was hearing. I know of Christians going around recruiting new blood, but this was the first time i encountered one. Christian classmates i had in the past steered clear of trying to convert me, because they knew i was a stauch Catholic, and i would never entertain the notion of converting, despite the many questions i have about the Church. So this came as a surprise, and i was rather amused. Plus, i was a bit taken aback. Isn't this too much? Simply approaching a stranger in broad daylight and posing such incredulous questions. Shouldn't you build up a rapport first?? No wonder i know of many people who were frightened by such high-handed tactics, and thus put off by Christianity. I am not in the least bit surprised.

Since i didn't give an answer, the girl continued.
"Are you Christian?"
I finally flund my voice and replied.
"No i'm not... I'm Catholic."
She stared at me in bewilderment. She didn't get it. I think she was confused that i made such a strong distinction between Christianity and Catholicism. I was prepared to launch into an argument if she wanted to pursue the matter, but she smartly left it, and i side-stepped her and moved on, leaving her alone to ponder over what i said. I was a bit disappointed though, i was itching for a debate. I am mad. Heh.

In the night, Wai Han and i went over to Yiwei's house to have steamboat. There i met up with other friends like Jiaying, Yanlin and Shuxin. I haven't met Shuxin in 4 years, but her easygoing personality and her unique laugh were still there. But like all girls my age (except for me and a couple of others ), many slimmed down when we entered JC (Junior College), i guess to attract the guys. I am not saying this in a sarcastic or mean way, i am just being matter-of-fact. But it is all good. We lingered around and caught up with the old times. In case you are wondering how we met up, we were TKGuides when we were in seondary school. The TK Gang. Haha. By the way, it is the TKGians, the Tanjong Katong Girls' School Guides. People are always confusing us with TKSS, Tanjong Katong Secondary School, and it gets on our nerves at times. We are just proud of our former secondary school.

Anyhow, we were clearing up and i was attempting to wash the plates when Yiwei's aunt strode into the kitchen and commented, "Do you wash dishes at home?"
"Yeah, i do."
"Really? You don't look like the kind."

I seriously didn't know how to respond. I didn't know whether to get angry, but it is Yiwei's aunt we are talking about, and i didn't want to appear rude, or to laugh it off, and not be a brat and take things so seriously. After all the aunt was smiling. I just kept quiet. Do i look like a f**king spoilt brat to you? Wait till you meet my roommate. Then you know what the f**k is a spoilt brat. What the hell. I hate being accussed of something that i am not. I shall refrain from letting out a volley of curse words since it is Yiwei's aunt we are talking about. A friend's aunt. I am going to remain civilized and courteous.

On Friday, i met up with 2 of my other good friends, Lydia and Zhili. Haven't met them in ages. We ate pasta (yes, pasta!) in Pasta Cafe at Taka. The lobster frapiccini was delicious. We caught up with the gossip of whatever that had taken place in my absence. Discussed about JC classmates, Australia and everything else under the sun. Then i dragged them to watch a horror show, Ghost Train, amidst their protests and objections (Search on Google if you like. I wanted to link it, but when i saw the poster, my heart nearly stopped, and i hastily closed the window before copying the url). In the end, all 3 of us were huddling and shutting our eyes because we were so fearful. Zhili reprimanded me in mock anger, and promised that she would never watch any horror show with me, since we would all be wasting our money by shutting our eyes and shaking in terror. Then she threw her hands up in exasperation, because she knew it would never happen. She knew i would make the brainless suggestion of watching a horror show again in the future, and she would make another mistake of being dragged to watch it. Ha ha. Sporting friends i have. :)

We proceeded to Crystal Jade to have our dinners. I haven't been to Crystal Jade to eat before. There simply was no occasion to dine there. Anyhow, i was baffled that all the waiters and waitresses spoke in Mandarin. I know it is a Chinese restaurant, but still, i thought they would converse in English. Thankfully Zhili was there to help us. I would be lost in my Mandarin, trying in vain to convey my intentions. Lydia would be slightly better. At least she would try. But her efforts would have us reduced into fits of laughter. I tasted the fried rice and the Xiao Long Bao, highly recommended by Zhili. I must say they were really good. The Xiao Long Bao had soup and meat packed inside the small dough, it was impressive. Very nice. Lydia's boyfriend joined us later. Alas i had to leave 10 seconds after he arrived, and couldn't find out more about him. (Yes Lydia, i am spot checking. Heh heh! :] ) Rest assured i was not being anti-social, but my parents were going to pick me up before they catch their flight to Jakarta and time was tight. So i left in a hurry.

Today, i decided to just stay in. Actually i couldn't sleep because images from the horror show was racing through my mind. I was actually spooked. Even though i watched like only 30% of the show, and this 30% was viewed through parted fingers. Zhili would slap me if she knew it. Ha ha. It didn't help that i decided to bunk on my parents' king size bed in their absence. And there was an attached toilet which was emitting dripping noises. Scared the hell right out of me. The worse part is, when i am scared, i freeze and not move a single inch. And i try to breathe as little as possible. Dumb i know, but it is all so real. I could only croak out for my dogs and made sure they slept beside me. Yikes. Horror shows are an addiction.

Oh, and my brother whipped up Mee Goreng for my lunch today. Yup, you got that right. My younger brother can cook. He's male. And he loves it. His elder sister, which is yours truly, can't. And i am female. And i detest it. Have a problem with that? Aye, too bad. I have decided i will marry a guy who can cook for me. Haha!

P/S: Here are the novels i completed reading. The Shadow in the North and The Tiger in the Well, both by Philip Pullman.

2005-07-03T02:47:00.000+10:00

The National Day preparations i saw, en route to the Asian Civilizations Museum. Singapore's National Day falls on the 9th of August.

2005-07-03T02:45:00.000+10:00

The bright red chairs, still swathed in their plastic sheets.

2005-07-03T02:44:00.000+10:00

The army boys who helped in putting up the National Day structures, taking a break.

2005-07-03T02:43:00.000+10:00

The Supreme Court of Singapore. The old building.

2005-07-03T02:42:00.000+10:00

Me at the Asian Civilizations Museum located in Empress Place.

2005-07-03T02:41:00.000+10:00

A statue of Buddha. He was an Indian Prince who attained enlightenment whilst meditating under a tree. The serpent-like thing behind him was the Guardian of a River who protected him when some evil spirit tried to distract him to prevent him from attaining enlightenment. Read more here.

I realize that serpents are generally regarded in good light in other religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism and even Islam i think. Only in Christianity, it is regarded as an evil creature, the one who tempted Eve.

2005-07-03T02:37:00.001+10:00

Ganesh, the Hindu God. The museum guide said that his father accidentally beheaded him. Out of remorse, he swore he put the head of the first living vreature he saw back onto his son's body. And you guessed it. He saw an elephant. You can read more here.

2005-07-03T02:37:00.000+10:00

2005-07-03T02:31:00.000+10:00

The steamboat Contents gobbled up courtesy of 6 ravenous gals.

2005-07-03T02:30:00.000+10:00

From back row to front: Wai Han, Shuxin, Yanlin, Jiaying and Me.

2005-07-03T02:28:00.000+10:00

The group of us at Yiwei's house for steamboat. From left clockwise (starting with the girl in pink), Yiwei, Shuxin, Wai Han, Jiaying, Me & Yanlin.

2005-07-03T02:26:00.000+10:00

Zhili & Lydia in Pasta Cafe.

2005-07-03T02:25:00.000+10:00

The Xiao Long Bao we had at Crystal Jade Restaurant.

Silent, and clenched jaw

2005-06-30T02:45:00.000+10:00

I went to Zouks for the first time tonight. I have always made it clear that i do not club. I only sit around, have a couple of drinks and have a nice long chat with my friends.

It didn't happen today. Somehow, things spun out of control. I went to Zouks. I didn't want to be a wet blanket.

I went in. It was crowded. It was insanely crowded. It was smoky. The music was blasting, but that's fine, i like it. But it just wasn't me. I saw girls and guys. Girls who all dressed the same, and thus all looked the same to me. I saw guys. I would have thought they were ok, if i haven't heard one of them snickering and calling the girl ahead of us, fat. That was simply uncalled for, and too shallow for me. My mood plunged all the way down. I don't like shallow superficial fucks.

I went with Lydia, Xueling, Violet, Liying and Yinru. I just cannot click with them. Too different, our personalities. When they talk, i kept silent, and listened. I feel no need to contribute at all, and that is very unlike me.

I really don't like the club scene. I saw girls laughing hysterically, holding jugs of beer, falling over themselves and over the guys. I saw shallow superficial guys. So many. Too many. It's disappointing. Why behave like this?

The taxi driver who sent us there was a bastard. He was a terrible influence. He urged us to club. Urged us. He bragged about his younger days and how he clubbed. He bragged about how he turned to the bottle when he was depressed. How can you brag about such stuff? I am embarassed for him. He even insisted what he did was right. Drowning you sorrows in alcohol? That's right. Well, i hate to tell you this. You are a complete failure and loser in life.

The last straw came when someone i knew from JC tapped me in the shoulder. She was a smart student, totally proper-looking and decent. I saw her, smiled briefly and walked off. Smoke trailed out of her mouth, she sported spike hair, and was wedged between 2 guys? I can't tell anymore. This is crazy. She is ruining herself.

I left the club scene. With Lydia. Disappointed and bitter. And clad with a thick smell of cigarette smoke. And of course, probably left behind a whole bunch of disappointed, disbelieving, and disgusted friends, who cannot believe i refuse to linger in the crowded place even for an hour more. I don't give a shit. Why do i feel they are there only to show off their drinking skills and to brag about their medical knowlege? I didn't even engage in their medical talk. What for? My knowlege is not for me to boast around; it's just to save lives. Isn't that the simple reason i entered medicine for? Since when did it become a competition? Since when did drinking alcohol become a competition?

I am disillusioned. So much so, i don't think i will ever drink again. So many people. So many mistakes. So many ruined lives. I am very disappointed. A simple round of drinks and a talk with friends banished only to my fantasy i guess.

Very very disappointed.

Dead....tired

2005-06-29T21:10:00.000+10:00

I'm not typing this in a hospital in case you wonder why i was MIA yesterday. I didn't crash or anything like that. Just completely exhausted. I have long forgotten what is it like to wake up at 6.45am in the freaking morning. I had to drag my ass out of bed, stumble to the toilet, before sleep-walking to the car. And through all this, my brother was still sleeping soundly. And he is the one who has to go to school. Amazing. He came down at 7.15am, and the school gates close at 7.25am to bar latecomers from entering. Crazy.

He was telling me to use all the shortcuts my father used. Which i stupidly listened to. Why on earth did i think i would be able to use the shortcuts, my father with 30 years experience under his belt, could do? In the end, we changed lanes constantly and made last minute turns. Scaring my mum who was in the backseat, and making me sober up a little. It was pretty fun though. But i hit the curb thrice. With my back tyres, because i steered too early. I was quite mad when it happened.

Today i swore i wasn't going to repeat it, and i didn't! What's more, i managed to slide my car smoothly into the parking slot between the pillar and another car, without making the other driver wait too long. Previously i would drive to the higher levels to park, because i didn't want the other motorists to wait for me. And i always parked in slots where there are no cars flanking on either side. Hence, i am rather happy this morning. Even my mum was impressed. My parents also couldn't believe i could navigate a tight U-turn near my brother's school. Heh.

Yesterday, i met up with Yiwei. We had Sakae sushi buffet. It was marvellous. Besides helping ourselves to the sushi on the conveyor belt, we ordered through the computer as well. It was that high-tech. We were at the Marina Square outlet, and there were very few people, so we lingered there for a long time. My target was to eat 40 plates between the both of us. My former student, Ronin, could eat 20++ plates, close to 30, by himself, and i wanted to break his record. In the end, we could only manage a miserable 22 plates. Yiwei wanted to die because she was so bloated and she thought she was suffering from heartburn. Haha. Being very garang, she also decided to try a new sushi. Some fermented bean crap, which her Japanese language teacher fancies a lot. When it came, we were just gaping at it. Yiwei had prodded it with her chopsticks, and it was sticky. It reminded us (nauseatingly) of vomit and guts (because prior to this, i was sharing with her some gut-wrenching, bile-rising, medical stories). She tasted it and nearly gagged. She insisted i try the other one.

Seeing her reaction, i decided not to take a risk, but to employ a safer (albeit somewhat rude) method which i haven't used since i was a kid. I took a tentative whiff of the sushi, and that was it. I was never going to touch it. Ever. It tasted of vomit. Seriously. Like what the hell. How can someone consume it?? Yiwei who refused to waste the sushi, dipped half the sushi in wasabi sauce to conceal the taste, before popping it into her mouth. Halfway, she wrinkled her nose and started pinching her nose in desperation. Then she stopped chewing and just stared ahead. She was going to retch man. I had nowhere to dodge! Haha. Finally, she slowly sipped her green tea, before compelling herself to swallow the half-masticated bolus down her oesophagus. And she refused to touch the other portion. Haha. Why torture yourself in the first place? :p

By the time we exited the restaurant, Yiwei couldn't walk straight. In fact she wanted to buy some Chinese medicine to aid in her digestion. I merely rolled my eyes (i am not a big fan of Chinese medicine, they smell, taste and look gross; they are even worse than the pills, tablets and capsules from Western medicine which is bad enough) and objected. I think she somehow managed to crawl home to sleep through the unpleasantness. Strangely i was ok. I think i must have been trained up when i was in Australia. I can stomach larger proportions now. Yay!

Met up with my mom later at Tampines Mall to purchase a pair of sports shoes for running. There was no Adidas, or Aasics. The New Balance designs are atrocious. In the end, against my better judgement, i bought a pair of Nikes. I have been told that Nike products have a limited lifespan (they have been manufactured this way), though i am not sure how true is it. But to me, design overrules quality. So well, too bad. But the pair of Black Nikes i bought is really unique and cool. Love them. They are cross trainers, so i am all prepared for my hiking trips in future (ahem ahem, Suba, Wenting and Erfana. You are not backing out from our future Mountaineering trips...). Went to Popular as well to replenish my fast depleted supply of pens, lecture pads and exercise books in Australia. Hey Charmaine, i sort of forgot what kind of pens you asked me to buy. *grins sheepishly* I bought all black, 1 gel, 2 ball point (1 like mine, the other is the one you wanted), hopefully it is correct. Heh heh.

Oh yeah, whilst i was still in Tampines Mall, i received an SMS from Jiawei that turned my heart cold. I shrieked so loudly in the middle of the mall, my mum whirled around, startled, thinking i have gone right out of my mind. I didn't dare tell her that my friend just smsed me that my results were out. Like what the f**k. It was supposed to be out only on the 8th of July. I was caught totally off guard. I wasn't prepared for this shit. I panicked. And i think i spread some of the hysteria to my friends. When i came home, i was so damn nervous, thinking that i failed, and i will be forced to fly back earlier to take some dumb supp papers. But i PASSED!! P-A-S-S!!! Yipee!!! Haha!!!!

*****
I bought yet another novel, Misfortune by Wesley Stace. If you are wondering how the hell i managed to complete reading all the other novels i bought, i didn't. I have a penchant to buy books that caught my eyes (in case they disappear when i want to purchase them next time or i forget about buying and thus lose a perfectly good novel to read), and store them up to read in the near future.

Bought a couple of CDs too. Il Divo, Green Day's American Idiot and the soundtrack for Spirited Away.

2005-06-29T21:09:00.000+10:00

Love this outlet. See how empty it is? So we won't have to rush for the more delicious sushi ;P, and we don't have to feel guilty when we lingered at our seats for a long time.

2005-06-29T21:08:00.000+10:00

The conveyor belt carrying the sumptous sushi, slowly drifting by our seats.

2005-06-29T21:07:00.000+10:00

The computer screen where we could order our sushi as well. Damn hi-tech, and damn shiok ordering as many sushi as we liked!

2005-06-29T21:06:00.000+10:00

Our lovely spread!

2005-06-29T21:04:00.000+10:00

Our buffet, nearly gone. 22 plates and nearly gorged to death.

2005-06-29T21:03:00.001+10:00

Our fabulous spread of sushi!

2005-06-29T21:03:00.000+10:00

The eeky fermented bean sushi. It is not corn, and don't be deceive by it. It is sticky and smells of puke.

2005-06-29T21:01:00.000+10:00

Yiwei, chewing the revolting sushi carefully, so as not to taste it. But it ain't helping. She nearly retch later. Haha!

2005-06-29T21:00:00.000+10:00

Yiwei, trying to wash down the disgusting sushi with her green tea. It helped...a little.

First solo mission...accomplished

2005-06-28T02:40:00.000+10:00

I left my house 10 minutes earlier than i normally would when i take a bus, just to get to Kah Ming's house, and ended up 15 minutes early. Somehow, i thought i would take a longer time than when i use a public transport. Now when i reflect about it, i can't help but roll my eyes. Ha!

I was very nervous when i took the car keys and strode purposefully to the carpark. I didn't quite understand why i am going through all this stress and needless anxiety for.

Anyhow, i got into my family's X-Trail, and started the engine. From then on, i felt like i wasn't controlling the vehicle, and that i was just merely in a body that was doing the driving. You know, that kind of dreamy state, when you are aware (vaguely) of what is happening, but you feel that you are not really doing that activity, but you are on autopilot? Yeah, it felt like that, and i hated it because it scares me. Anyhow, it felt like second nature as i drove on the road. Prior to driving, i actually gave myself a hard pinch to make sure i wasn't dreaming. Heh. I blasted the radio too, i don't like silence. And the driving felt normal. I just picture what Raye (my friend) would have done. Blaring the music and navigating the car. It went smoothly.

I parked at the multi-storey carpark and even exited, before calling my mum to let her know i was fine. She was aghast when she realized i parked the car in the carpark. Apparently, she didn't think i possess the ability or the confidence to park the car in the carpark. Well, now she knows. Anyhow, she enquired whether i had placed any coupons, and i realized, hell no. I had to run back up to tear a couple of coupons. I even fished out some old ones (a trick i learnt from Raye!) to put together with the ones i tore, in order to confuse the attendant and give a false impression that i placed a lot of valid coupons. Haha. My mum was stunned when she realized what i have done. Time to start learning from the crafty younger ones! ;P

In the end, i went to fetch my mum from the station after work as well. Kah Ming was directing the route, and to my horror (and maybe hers as well), we realized we had to make a U-turn. In case you don't know, making a U-turn was never in my plans. Heading straight and maneuvering right and left were the only things on my agenda. Imagine my horror, when i discovered i had to execute such a tricky movement with my immensely large SUV in a tiny road. I was actually holding my breath, hoping the SUV could complete the U-turn, without me having to reverse on the main road. Thank God it went smoothly. The place was crowded with pedestrains too, and i didn't dare glance at them. I bet they were staring at us in amazement and amusement.

Kah Ming then came over to my house for a chat. We have lots of catching up to do man. Apparently, my parents are quite comfortable with me driving solo now (how strange and quick they change their minds!), they want me to send my brother to school in the mornings. That's fine by me. My mum is tagging along tomorrow for a trial run, and for me to be familiarize with the route. My brother can't believe it. It's good, because i wouldn't nag like my father. My brother is always late for school. In the past 6 months, he was actually late a whooping 11 times, and the DM (Discipline Master) has been harassing our house phoneline. That's why my father pounding with adrenaline, would speed and zip through the highway to send my brother to school before the school gates close, and at the same time give him a huge lecture. With me, i am silent. I don't bother to nag. Since he need so much sleep, he can catch up with it in the car. The only catch? I am not going to bother going over the legal speed limit. I am going to travel at the same moderate speed i always drive at, regardless whether he is late or not. And if the DM wants to speak to me, go ahead. If the DM is going to reprimand me, i will blast him back. I think my brother is pretty nervous about that, since i happen to be more laid back than him. Good luck to him from tomorrow onwards. You know school starts at 7.25am, but that fellow wakes up at only 7am?? And it is a good 15 minute drive away, if we are lucky there is no traffic. Tsk tsk. I was never late when i was in JC (junior college), and i took the public transport which is an hour's ride! Talk about a good life.

Anyhow, back to today. It was in the night when i sent Kah Ming back. The first time i drove in the night solo (and one of the very few times i drive in the night). My mum was actually comfortable and reassured enough to let me send Kah Ming back alone. Haha, it is really strange how parents change their minds so easily. The first step is always the hardest i guess.

My phobia is almost gone. Now i just need to tackle the highways, and to convince myself that i have the ability to travel solo on the freeways. I will work on that tomorrow morning. I am actually getting up at 6.45am to get the car, and my brother who is the one that is going for classes, is only rising at 7am. Talk about dedication!

P/S: I have just completed the novel, The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman.

Going solo jitters

2005-06-27T18:12:00.000+10:00

I am going to drive alone for the first time in approximately 1 hour 15 minutes.

Ever since i made the decision 4 hours 15 minutes ago, i have been very ill at ease, very jumpy and extremely nervous. Extremely.

I cannot nap in peace. My sleep was punctuated with so many dreams, that when i wake up, i can't remember what i dreamt of, but only the feeling that there are a lot of things weighing in my mind. How the hell did i get so scared??

I even thought i had a fever, because i was feeling so warm. Only to realize that my window was wide open and i was asleep under direct sunlight.

I am so nervous!

But i got to do this. Somehow, ever the past few days, i have created a phobia, the fear of driving alone. Images of me crashing into something, or ramming the back of other cars, and fuck, even running over pedestrians have been speeding through my mind.

If i don't jumpstart my solo driving soon, i doubt i will ever be able to drive alone again. This is what happened to my mum. And the transference of her fear to me is so great, it is almost causing me to have an anxiety attack.

I am going to drive over to Kah Ming's house later. Although i have got a straight bus to her place, i am adamant to drive over. I need to hone my independent driving skills, which is never possible with my parents around. I need the confidence that i can do this. I can do it. It is only driving. Jiawei did it. En En did it. Jiahui did it. So can i!!! Argghh.

I have been running through the route so many times in my head, it is ridiculous. Don't laugh. I know it is only a short distance away, but still.

I hope my phobia vanishes. Sometimes facing your fear doesn't help. Shit. I will be fine. I will.

Breathe.

Happening Saturday

2005-06-27T01:15:00.000+10:00

I bought the Sony Ericsson K750i today!! Yay!! *Screams and jumps with joy*

Ok, ahem. Madness over. Back to Earth.

Yesterday, i met up with Yinglin. Haven't met her in ages. Anyhow, she got caught up with something, so i decided to browse through HMV whilst waiting for her. That is like a Mega sale now, in HMV!! Albums are sold dirt-cheap, it is mind-boggling. Already i was ticking off the albums i wanted to get. Michael Buble, The Black-Eyed Peas, Mozart's Magic Flute, Green Day, Backstreet Boys and maybe even Jamie Callum!!! Gosh, i am going to spend a bomb again. If every vacation is going to be like this, where i return home and splurge insane amounts of money on music and books, i will be declared a bankrupt pretty soon.

When Yinglin arrived, we lunched at Thai Express. I haven't eaten anything the whole morning and i was ravenous. Since it was Thai food, i was looking to avoid consuming any spicy stuff. Spicy stuff, in an empty stomach, first thing in the morning, can wreck havoc in the lavatories. So anyhow, Yinglin was recommending the Fire Noodles, a new dish that is very popular, but is not included in the menu. It is a mystery dish i think. She described it as something like kuay teow, similar to the one in Nooch Noodle Bar. So i went ahead with her recommendations.

When the dish arrived, it was small. Ok, actually, ever since i came back to Singapore, i find that everything is smaller in size, and i am so not used to it. Smaller proportions, and i am actually disappointed! My friends are aghast that i can actually consume the entire proportion served in Australia. It is really no big deal, you know? Wendy, in particular, was appalled when she heard that i could consume the entire slice of cake served in Crown. Apparently, she had to split the cake with 4 other friends. Er... i don't know what to say. But my friends in Australia, i must say, have equal or even better abilities than me to finish up the slice of cake leh. I think it is all in the mind. Heh heh.

So anyhow, the dish came with a side serving of chilli powder. I decided to add half a teaspoon of the chilli powder to add some flavour. When i tucked in initially, it was not too bad. When i got to the third forkful, i was acutely aware of this gradual wave of heat that was spreading in my mouth. And then the pain hit home. I gasped and gulped down the glass of cold water in front of me. It provided only temporary relief. The heat associated with chilli, and the pain it brings, were unmistakable. I was burning. And i grew nervous, almost fearful, of the repercussions that it would have on my stomach. As if on cue, my stomach started feeling weird. I must have looked very sick, because the waitress on standby grinned and hurriedly refilled my cup with the much needed oasis of cool water. I chugged that down too. Finally, i stared at Yinglin and spluttered, "Damn, this is freaking hot. Why didn't you tell me?!"

She gave an apologetic smile and stammered, "Oops, i forgot to tell you. I should have told them to add less spice too, but i forgot."

She was stammering not because she was afraid of telling me the truth, but because she herself was in trouble. She had the same dish as i was having. So, both of us were in deep shit. Anyhow, i was cursing inwardly. I ate very little or no chilli during my stay in Australia. It was a luxury i cannot afford. The chiili is too ex, and i don't cook. So, to consume chilli in the proportion present in my noodles is pure sucide. On one hand, i was still starving, but to continue munching on that appropriately named dish is going to bring about consequences i cannot bear. On the other, i wasn't willing to fork out more money on another dish. The Fire Noodles ain't cheap.

In the end, Yinglin and i ordered an ice-blended Watermelon + Lime + not sure what other ingredients thrown in drink. We 'pleaded' with the waitress to hurry up with the order. They were all very understanding. So much so, it makes me wonder whether this is a ploy of theirs!

The drink brought much-needed relief. In the end, i drank so much fluid that it diluted the spice in my stomach. So much so, i felt like throwing up, with the amount of fluid sloshing around in me. Yikes. Going to stay away from chilli for now. I don't like the burning sensation of my tongue or in my belly anymore.

We also visited Adidas, and guess what? I stumbled upon a light weight jacket made of a material similar to Nike's dry-fit!! It's climacool!! I bought it on the spot, without hesitation. I have been searching for such a jacket in ages, even way before i flew off to Australia. Now i have got a jacket for summer. Yup, summer. I need something to conceal my T-shirt underneath. Don't intend to iron any of my tops. Too lazy. Haha. And you know, whilst i am enjoying my life right now at home, i am struck with this pang of homesickness already. A significant part of me don't want to return to Australia, where i have to keep after myself (and maybe Carol), and i can no longer enjoy the level of slackness that i am (unfortunately) getting use to. Boy oh boy. I was paying at the cashier, when the lady looked up, gave a megawatt smile and enquired, "Are you Singaporeans?"

I gaped at her. I am pretty sure i don't have an Aussie accent. I make it a point not to have it. I am retaining my Singaporean one.

Finally, i answered, "Erm...yeah."
Yinglin piped out, "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, because you all look like tourists."

Tourists?? By the way, i was dressed like i will always dress in. An orange T-shirt and jeans. Do tourists dress like that?

Yinglin tried to pacify me, saying that it was probably because she was sporting a cap. I seriously doubt it. On one hand, i was glad that i didn't look like a typical Singaporean ( i regard many Singaporeans as snobbish, rude, kiasu people, whom i have utterly no tolerance for). But on the other hand, i was slightly insulted and feeling a bit jaded. Am i that westernized?? I feel like a fish out of water. Thank God that feeling was fleeting.

Anyhow, the lady was really polite and nice. Too nice. I started feeling uncomfortable. You know, she actually took my bag of purchase, came out of the counter, and presented the bag to me with 2 hands, and a large beaming smile on her face. Then, she carefully explained to me about some lucky draw thing, and a card which i can call to feedback about the staff conduct or something and that would entitle me to another lucky draw. She obviously didn't believe us when we said we were Singaporeans. She would have never treated a Singaporean this way. A typical behaviour would be to mutter a 'thank-you' before shoving the bag and recipt into my arms, over the counter. Trust me, there is a marked difference in the attitudes of customer service staff when they handle people of different nationalities. It is downright annoying.

Yinglin and i then rushed to hail a cab to Plaza Singapura to catch a movie. The cabbie started complaining to us about life in Singapore. He had the time to do so, because many of the major roads were closed for the NDP (National Day Parade) Rehearsal, so we had to make this major detour. Although the cabbie did touch upon certain meaningful topics (Yinglin said he was bitter, but i didn't detect any sign of bitterness in the driver though), i wonder whether it is accurate. Bear in mind that he was speaking in Mandarin, and i actually had to reply in my hopefully not-so-halting mandarin. He mentioned that my generation is the one that has to slog madly next time, because of the government and yadda yadda yadda. He added that we should retain our citizenship but get as many PRs as possible from other countries. He said that studying hard now and getting a degree might not help us in securing a good job next time. It no longer works this way. You need to know the key people to get a stable job. He also stated that people from other country expressed that we do not stay in Singapore, but in the village of Lee (a reference to our Minister Mentor, Lee Kuan Yew). He even vocalized that the possibility of a re-merger with Malaysia would become a reality once Johor's economy is on par with us. He even cited Hong Kong and China as an example! I really didn't know what to say. Apparently Singapore has undergone a radical change since i left. The people are getting more vocal (which is good in a way), and more startling events are emerging. Such as the recent furor over SPG (Singapore Party Girl), the dumping of the body parts into the Kallang River and now this. Amazing. I am just going to take what the driver said, with a pinch of salt though. I know his advice are well-intentioned, but i seriously wonder whether they are practical. Singaporeans had this knack for being kiasu anyway.

******
I met up with the Med gang in the night. Jiawei drove his father's car. I wanted to drive too, but i had to persuade Erfana to come all the way to my house just to sit in the car with me, because i was too chicken to go solo. In the end, my mum forbid me to drive alone, so we hitched a ride with Jiawei. My mum (and En En's mum) were anxious about Jiawei's driving skills. I think my mum must have been slapping herself on the forehead, thinking that she should have let me drove instead. Haha. But Jiawei is not a bad driver. I was observing him on the road, and clarifying certain stuff with En En. Feeling nervous about going solo is a pretty normal thing. I was actually developing a phobia thanks to my over-protective parents. But when i saw how coolly Jiawei navigated the car out of tight situations, and how En En would react, i was relieved. It ain't as hard as i made it out to be after all. It's just my parents.

You know, sometimes kids can't fly to greater heights because parents do not know when to let go? Parents are so afraid that their kids will get hurt, they cling on for dear life onto us. It is downright frustrating sometimes. In fact, many times, i wanted to lash out at my mother for being such a worrier, and ultimately succeeding in spreading her fear to me, but i kept my temper in check in the end. Always. Because i didn't want her to keep her troubles all to herself. It is really irritating, because there would be an internal struggle within myself. One part getting scared and contemplating of backing out what i initially set out to do. And the other part, adamant and annoyed, that i didn't get the support or the encouragement i would like to hear. You know, no matter what, we will fly free in the end. It is a matter of you making the process easier. Why spread fear when it is not going to help? So just quit worrying!! Arrghh.

We picked Erfana up at Bugis. She was trapped in the MRT train that had conveniently broken down between Bugis and City hall stations. It took half an hour for the train to crawl to Bugis. We then headed to Geylang to eat the famous fried prawn mee. It was not bad. Apparently, Jiawei is like a food gourmet. He seems to know where to get the best food.

We then wanted to eat durains, but it was impossible to find a legal parking space, so we abandon the idea. Instead of heading home, i suggested that Jiawei should drive through the even numbered streets, a notoriously red light district area. We were not going there for any hanky panky of course. But apparently, En En and Erfana have never seen prostitues before or the tons of men lurking around. I have seen them, because my father brought the whole family down those streets, mainly to warn my brother to avoid such vices and to act as an eye-opener for me. Jiawei proceeded to tell us the 2 main categories that hookers fall into. The fishtank ones and the freelance ones. The freelance is self-explanatory. The fishtank ones meant that the girls had to report to a pimp.

We secured the door locks before crusing down the alleys. I didn't see alot of the females as last time, but i did see hell a lot more guys standing around. It is astounding. I know the men frequent such areas, but i didn't know that many men frequent such spots. I mean, there really was a large assembly of them. It was mind-boggling. From the last time my father drove into these areas to let us 'learn', i actually saw rows of females standing near the roadsides, and men flagrantly oogling at them, staring at them from head to toe before selecting them. The reason why i couldn't get that burning image off my memory is because i was horrified. These men were disgusting and revolting. I mean, if you want to satisfy your needs, fine. But do you have to insult people by being choosy and segregating them in a way similar to a manner that you would select a cow, or a cattle or any other animal for that matter?! That is downright shameful.

So yeah, that concluded a very eventful day. Haha.

Observations of People

2005-06-26T19:03:00.000+10:00

I went to mass today.

In church, there is this girl, about a year younger than me. Before i left for Australia in February this year, she had just given birth to a daughter. I am not sure whether she was married then, but i can recall her, always dabbing tearfully at her eyes with a piece of tissue, when she was in the midst of her pregnancy. She decided not to abort, obviously.

Today, i went back to church after a four month absence. I saw her again, playing with her daughter. She was sitting on the steps, with her back facing me. And then, she stood up. I was shocked when i saw her large tummy. She was pregnant again. I concealed my surprise, and looked away. I didn't want to appear rude.

I was both astounded and impressed. Astounded that she
1) wanted another kid at her age. Hell i wouldn't even want a kid at 30. That's still way too early.

OR

2) didn't learn her lesson. Last time, she was reckless, and fell pregnant. Shouldn't she use some birth control technique more carefully this time??

But i think it is the former option, because, she genuinely looked happy this time round.

I am impressed that she is not affected, or doesn't show that she is affected, by the numerous disapproving, horrified and curious glances thrown in her general direction by the congregation present. Despite talks that we are a modern society, we are really very traditional at heart. Pre-marital sex is a taboo topic that is not dwell upon by the older generations. I am also impressed that this girl has the guts, the strength and the self-confidence to defy the norms of today and to lead the kind of life she wants.

You are probably thinking that this entry is devoted to this girl. Nope. I didn't observe her. Instead, i was observing the people around us, and silently taking in the behaviour of these people towards the girl.

These people were blatantly staring at her. And i mean blatantly. They just kept staring. Not passive stares either. They had all kind of negative expressions on their faces. Horror, disbelief, amazement. You name it. They probably got it. And they didn't bother to conceal their embarassing and rude behaviour. In fact, they even turned their heads as the girl walked pass them. It was really mean of them. They were judging her (and i am probably judging them by writing this entry, but i still have to say this), jumping to all kinds of bad conclusions on the spot. And the irony of it all? We were in God's House, where the priest is preaching about forgiveness, and not judging people.

On another occassion, i was observing this family. At first, this lady carrying her son stood in front of me. 2 other rowdy young boys danced around her, screaming, laughing, playing. They started jumping on the MRT train, attempting to reach the overhead hand grips, which is a very dangerous thing to do on a moving, jerky train. Balancing one kid on her hip, the lady with a small frame started trying to grab hold of the younger of the two boys. Bad move. The boys started treating it like a game, dodging her, and scampering further into the carriage, which left the mother with no choice but to pursue them. The shriekings, screaming and laughing continued for most part of the journey in the crowded train as the mum tried to retain some form of order with her brood.

Nearing the train terminal, when the carriage had emptied out, i noticed the mother seated beside this guy. Amazingly, i discovered that the guy was her husband. I thought he was some sort of stranger, not even lifting a single finger to help his wife discipline his kids who were monkey-ing around. The younger of the 2 rowdy boys jumped up onto the train seat and started pushing and yelling into his dad's ear to get some attention. Instead, the guy simply sat there, refusing to acknowlege his son's presence and stared stoically ahead, with no sign of emotion on his face. It was absurd. How can someone ignore their kids in such a cold manner? How can a husband allow his wife to fend for herself with 3 kids in tow?? In public some more! I couldn't help shaking my head. I wonder what kind of adults the kids would grow up into, having a father like this.

If this happened in the older days, i would have empathtized. Because, traditional Chinese fathers do not show any sort of emotions, as it is viewed as a sign of weakness. And they do not take part in the upbringing of their kids. Their jobs consisted simply of heading out to work, in order to provide for the family. But last time i checked, i was pretty sure it is the year 2005 now.

P/S: Ever since i stepped into Med school, i have been taught not to judge, and to treat all patients. I realized i am learning to be less judgemental, but some people are really astounding in their actions, then i can't help but blog them out.

Uh oh

2005-06-26T02:53:00.000+10:00

Despite guzzling tons of fluid today, and even an onslaught of Vitamin C, i fought a futile battle. Ultimately i succumbed to the vice-like grip of the flu bug. Sniffling endlessly has become a second habit of mine in the past hour. Desperately, i popped a flu tablet. After swallowing it, my maid rushed to my room, waving a strip of the tablets in her hand.

"Have you taken the tablet?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah, why?" I replied casually.
"Erm..."

I raised my eyebrow as i tried to keep the drowsiness that was hitting me like a bullet train, at bay.

"It's expired. July 2004." she mumbled quietly.

What?! I was awake instantly.
"Why are you still keeping the medicine if it has expired?!" i exclaimed loudly.

I could feel the pill lodged uncomfortably in my throat . I could easily stick a finger down my throat to induce vomitting, but the thought of gagging and heaving painfully into the toilet bowl did not sit well with me at the moment. I let it pass. Oh well.

My mum ticked the maid off, and she thinks that i will probably be poisoned by the expired medicine. I don't think so. But what does expired medicine really mean?? Is it simply medicine that is no longer effective? In other words, i just wasted effort and time in swallowing the damn pill i guess.

It is the dreadful weather. The oppressive heat is throwing my body systems into disarray. So my immune system was rendered feeble. Arggh.

P/S: I have a lot to update about today, but i am dead tired. Going to retire to bed. Will update more tomorrow. By the way, i bought The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis!

2005-06-26T02:00:00.000+10:00

The latest gadget unveiled by Sony to rival Apple's iPod is, in my opinion, a significant threat.

Besides the newer, sleeker design available in 3 magnificent colours (which includes my favourite colour, a flashy red!), the battery can be removed and recharged. If you are not already the owner of an iPod, you should have by now discovered that the iPod's battery only has a finite lifespan, and it cannot be removed. Once that is spoilt, you can kiss your iPod's memory goodbye too.

Click here for more information about the Sony NW-HD5 Network Walkman™.

A hurried entry

2005-06-25T02:03:00.000+10:00

First up, if you are intending to watch Initial D, don't even bother. It's so boring and lame and dumb. The plot is ridiculous. The whole show is just for die hard fans to drool over whatever part of the anatomy the camera is zooming in at the moment. I went to watch it with Wendy today, and there was this bunch of pre-teens behind us. Already, i was annoyed with the draggy show, being a clique drool-over-the-hunks, wasting money kind of movie. Then i had to contend with excited squeals and mumurings emanating from behind me whenever the camera showed a particular 'hunk'. I felt like murdering someone. It was then i also realized i was getting old, and no longer going ga-ga over such celebrities. Actually, come to think of it, i doubt i ever been through such a phase. Ok, except maybe David Beckham. But i was very civilized and restrained still.

Went to have an hour of badminton game with Wendy this morning as well. Actually, we booked the court for 2 hours, but scaled it back to 1 at the last moment, and thank God too. I am really getting old. I can't whack as hard or run as much as i want to. I feel lazier. Does that say anything? Darn. And within an hour, i was already breaking out into a sweat. That would have never happened previously. It would have taken me a much longer time to pespire. This can either be a warning sign that my fitness is dwindling (again!) or my metabolic rate is slowing down thanks to the intense weather over here.

Been driving the family car with my mum these few nights. Since i needed to practice, and we needed an excuse to waste petrol, we decided to pay surprise visits with our relatives. Driving ain't too bad. I learn that the key to driving is to be a little more daring and careless. Sometimes when you care too much or think too much, you are actually endangering yourself and the lives of other motorists to a greater extent. I did have a close shave just now again. But it's ok, all part and parcel of learning though i am quite indignant. There was a van parked at the side of the road, occupying my lane, so i was preparing to bypass it. Then this taxi driver had the nerve to cut sharply into my lane, and he simply stopped! I was forced to brake abruptly. And i just gaped at that idiot. I didn't bother using the horn. No point scaring the passenger or my mum.

Anyway, now i had to really move into the next lane to overtake the 2 vehicles. From my wing mirror, i saw a car waiting to turn in at the junction, a distance away. So i pulled out. And that prick, who saw me, continue to accelerate and then stop, before blaring his horn. Like hallo?? You saw me, yet you refuse to give way, and you are horning me??

Sometimes, you ever wonder, in life, you give someone else a chance, yet no one gives you a chance at all? And then you wonder whether you might as well be mean, since no one was kind to you, and the whole vicious cycle repeats. Really annoying.

P/S: I gotta run. It is past midnight, but my brother wants me to jog with him around the neighbourhood. And i thought i said i would quit running...

Why Home is still HOME

2005-06-24T01:19:00.000+10:00

After 4 months of absence, i came back to an apartment. An apartment filled with familiar smells, and familiar sounds. An apartment with a warm homely atmosphere, yapping dogs, and a maid bustling around. The furniture that i have grown used to over the years, the same kind of positions they occupy, and the way they come together to form an arrangement that i have grown accustomed to.

True, there are new additions that stuck out immediately. Like the new plastic chairs and the tables. And even an English chess board nicely laid out, complete with all its pawns. My room remains the same, albeit neater. A lot neater. Certain furniture have been shifted around, to create space or to accomodate other stuff.

I have my 3 meals cooked for me. Steaming, healthy food on the table, as and when i want it. Not food that can be cooked instantly, or food that comes out of a can, but real home-cooked food. I no longer have to fret when i should and how or what i should have for my next meal. I don't have to worry whether the fridged is stocked up with food, or whether it is time to head down to the supermarket to replenish my edibles. I don't have to wonder and calculate whether i have enough cash this week to purchase my groceries or whether i have over-spent.

I no longer have to wash my dishes when i am done with my meals. No longer have to fuss and busy myself with the cleaning of the dining table, the kitchen, the dishes and the rubbish. It is a joy to have a maid around who cleans up after the mess i make, and not the other way round.

I don't have to lug my laundry out to the laundry room to dump them in the washer, and then get startled by the alarm half an hour later to transfer the clothes into the dryer. I don't have to make a mad dash to the dryer once the clothes are dried, in order to prevent other impatient users from tipping my stuff onto the dusty tops of the machines. Now, i simply toss my clothes into the laundry basket, and it will magically take care of itself. I don't have to take the time to fold all my clean clothes before placing them neatly into my wardrobe. Somehow they are always stacked neatly in my wardrobe the next day.

I don't have to huff and pant red-faced as i vacuum the whole house. I don't have to slip into gloves, wrinkle my nose, and try not to get myself dirty as i slosh and wash the toilet. I no longer have to hold the contents down in my stomach as i scrub the damn toilet bowl, trying very hard not to gag.

I can leave my stuff lying around, and somehow i know, they will be back in their original places where i can find them again. I can leave my table in a mess, like a tornado that just whirled through, only to find that it is totally neat an hour later. I can jump out of bed in the morning, with the blankets and pillow and bolster all awry, but they will be neatly arranged before dusk has fallen.

I can surf the net the whole day, without getting all anxious about the household chores that must be piling behind me. I can fall asleep as and when i like, without getting an anxiety attack about the amount of cleaning left undone.

I can fall asleep with a peace of mind, without having to worry whether the alarm will ring or not, as i can be sure one of my family members will be pounding on the door to wake me up.

Most importantly, i get to wake up in the morning and first thing i see are my dogs staring happily at me, with their wagging tails, greeting me excitedly on the start of a brand new day.

Most importantly, i wake up to see my parents seated at the dining table, sipping coffee and reading the papers.

Most importantly, i no longer have meals alone in my apartment. Now i dine with my mother, my brother, my father and my dogs. And the food seem so much more sumptous.

Most importantly, when i leave the house to hang out with my friends, my maid opens and locks the door for me, and i know someone cares.

Most importantly, when i come back home, someone is always there to open the door and welcome me back.

Most importantly, when i return home, the apartment is noisy with yelping dogs, and a smiling maid, and maybe my brother bouncing a ball around in the house, or my father watching the TV or my mum chatting on the telephone. And the house is not silent or dark, and i am all alone, with a huge empty apartment to myself.

Most importantly, i know that my family is close by, and if anything happens, i will receive prompt support and back up; and that people are always looking out for me.

Most importantly, i get to walk my dogs in the park, accompanied sometimes with my mum, as we spend quality time together, even though we are silent for the most part.

Most importantly, i am back with my family, and we are a solid nuclear unit again.

I am truly HOME.

And i had better not get use to this. If not it would be hell when i return to Australia in a couple of weeks.

P/S: I have updated, deleted and added the links at the bottom, so you can check it out.

PPS: Completed the novel, The Angel of Montague Street by Norman Green.

Batman Returns Begins

2005-06-23T02:58:00.000+10:00

Have i mentioned how much i hated Batman? And his stupid friends such as Joker? And how i especially detest the way he always acts so secretively, vanishing after capturing the bad guys? Just like a fantasy Robin Hood conducting a disappearing act? Did i also mention that such was the depth of my ignorance, that when i strode up to the ticket booth to purchase the movie tickets, i actually asked for 'Batman Returns', to which Teresa (my friend) corrected me in embarassment? Well, if i didn't, good. Because i changed my mind drastically. As of a few hours ago. After watching Batman Begins.

It is a superb show. Great plot (although very ordinary just like movies of such genre), great cast with hilarious lines, especially Christian Bale (both the young and the old ones), fantastic action, and of course, a beautiful mean-looking car packed with tons of muscle. It wasn't draggy or clique. In fact, it held my attention throughout the entire show of 2 hrs and 20 minutes, an unusual feat for a movie of such duration, and an easily bored person like me. I like Batman now. Haha. But i always thought Batman had superpowers like X-Men or Fantastic Four. Only through this show then i realize that his behaviour was the result of the culmination between his martial arts training and his impossibly cool gadgets that only excessive amounts of money can buy. Anyhow, i think i will be purchasing the DK publication of Batman sometime soon, and maybe even the Movie Visual guide one, that is, if i start leading a frugal life as of now.

I went to watch the show with my friends Teresa and Raye. We were supposed to watch Mr and Mrs Smith, which i was looking forward to, but Raye watched it already (on VCD some more, and still can tell me not nice!), so i was reluctantly forced to watch Batman Begins, due to a democratic vote. Glad i did though. If not, my ignorant thinking wouldn't have done justice to an excellent show.

We went to check out the Keyboards at Carrefour as well. The better keyboards don't come cheap and were twice above my budget. I was well over my head, and i am definitely not parting with my hard-saved cash that easily, so i guess you all should know the outcome. *Shakes head glumly* Oh well, that's always other things to learn, such as focusing on the Spanish class that i signed up for, and joining Taekwondo and Badminton next semester. No backing out on the sports this time, because Erfana and i made a pact. So there! Heh heh.

Raye dropped each of us home. En route she demonstrated exactly how powerful the bass speakers were in her car. I swear, if anyone collapses from heart failure, just dump them in her car, and i bet you my last dollar, the vigorous thumping from the bass is bound to re-start their hearts. It was that ~~bad~~ good. How can anyone focus and drive with all that disruptive vibrations and noise in their ears, and bodies? The whole car was practically shaking. Crazy leh! It's only cool, if the roof of your car can be wound down, so that the noise is not confined in a small space, and you are speeding along a deserted highway, at say, 160km/h? If not, i say, forget it. And it is a loss of precious boot space too.

P/S: I have just completed reading Out by Natsuo Kirino.

2005-06-23T02:54:00.000+10:00

Batman Begins

Photo courtesy of ComicBookMovie.

Rain rain go away!

2005-06-22T01:19:00.000+10:00

Was supposed to skate at East Coast Park with Wai Han today. But i should have anticipated the weather. Everytime the both of us make plans to skate, the heavens will open up and pour down upon us. Every single time. I don't have the faintest idea why. As if that was not enough, it rained the whole bloody day, so even postponing our activity from the morning to the afternoon didn't help. We ended up not meeting at all, but stayed at home to read our novels instead.

Since my skating plans went down the drain, i decided to have a go at driving today, by driving the car home after sending my mom to work, with my dad's supervision of course. There was significantly a reduction in the amount of yelling my father did. Come to think of it, he didn't even raise his voice at me throughout the entire journey. Remember in the first week after i passed my driving test, he was constantly ~~yelling~~ teaching me to be as good a driver as him? But when we reached home, my mum called me. Apparently, my father messaged her that my driving was giving him a heart attack. I don't know whether he did it in jest, but i thought my driving both improved and worsened at the same time. It is such an oxymoron.

I reckon my driving skills improved because i am more confident (although driving solo is still not ranking very high on my priority list just yet), and more daring. Having witnessed how the Aussies drive (by zooming around either very expertly or recklessly. You choose.), i decided i could do the same. My estimation of distances is more accurate, and i could toggle the acceleration and brakes with more ease, and less jerks (which is something my father hates tremendously). I have no qualms with the speed too. And that is where the problem lies. Couple my increased boldness and no fears about speed, i find it very dangerous. On one occasion, i actually went a tad too fast to change lanes that i nearly ended up cutting through 2 lanes. And instead of continuing, i actually swerved back sharply. The amazing part was no one honked at me, and my father was very calm about the whole affair, like it didn't happen. I was a little shocked with myself. But that was just one incident. I may have blown up that minor episode in my mind, but i was quite shaken even though i didn't show it. Another thing, i seemed to have forgotten how to park the car nicely. I had to take several minutes to recall what i was taught, and my father actually stood outside the car to patiently guide me. Amazing. My father must have ate something wrong, or his temper has mellowed with his age. But how can one's temper mellow just by ageing in 4 months??

Went out to Tampines Mall with my mum in the night. Did some shopping. Did you know Giordano finally start selling the low rise, relaxed fit kind of jeans ago?? I was overjoyed when i discovered it. Alas, there was only 1 colour for that kind of cutting, so i only bought one pair of jeans. And a couple of T-shirts. I have to give Giordano some credit. The printed T-shirts they are churning out now are quite nice, though i wouldn't be caught wearing them in Singapore. Bought them to be worn in Australia. Then we headed to G2000 to have a look at the formal clothes. My mum saw me put on the formal pants and she was so shocked to see my thigh muscles bulging out. Apparently she never seen them before. She couldn't believe her eyes. I think she never really comprehended when i said i built muscles from Judo. Either that or she never expected the muscles to be so huge. Haha. Anyhow, she forced me to try on a skirt. Not really force. I was in a good mood, and for once, i was really curious how i would look like in a skirt. The only skirts i worn so far is my Junior College's skirt, that's all.

So anyhow, there i was in the fitting room with a black skirt. Actually i couldn't tell which was the front or the back of the skirt. They looked the same. Unlike skirts, pants contain zippers in the front. Skirts have them at the sides. I ended up searching for the tag which is normally located on the back side of the skirt. I expected to have trouble fitting into a skirt. Again i was amazed to find that i could very easily slip into the skirt, and it wasn't as tight-fitting or uncomfortable i thought it to be. In fact, it was surprisingly more comfortable than the pants. Ok, don't go assuming that i will be wearing skirts from now on. I am not. Anyhow, when i 'paraded' in front of my mum, she couldn't stop grinning. Well, so now, i may look into purchasing skirts instead of pants. For one thing, they are definitely easier to iron.

I then headed to Adidas to attempt to find a dry-fit jacket. But such jackets seem to be non-existent nowadays. My Nike dry-fit jacket is threatening to disintegrate on me soon, and i need to find a replacement quick.

Oh yeah, i popped by the handphone shop to check out the latest camera phone. Sony Ericsson has always been the leading brand for camera phones; and true to their word, their latest model did not disappoint. The K750i, equipped with a stylish 2.0 megapixels camera, and a USB cable. I am seriously contemplating purchasing it. Actually, you can say the deal has been sealed. I have convinced my mum. We are now just searching for the best deal, so yay!! I can snap scenes that i want to capture impromptu. This is also the main reason why i set up my photoblog. I have been seeing alot of memorable spectacles that i couldn't capture because of a lack of a camera on hand. My Kodak is too large to be lugged with me every minute of the day. Even if i don't get this phone, i will be getting a small cheap digicam then. So i might as well get this phone.

P/S: I have read a couple of novels in the past few days. You can check out my take on these books:
1) The Good Doctor by Damon Galgut
2) My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
3) The Girls He adored by Jonathan Nasaw

PPS: Did you know that humans have gotten so bored that they actually invented dog condoms? I am assuming the condoms is meant for dog-dog interaction and not for human-dog interaction. Did you know that humans are the only species in the whole animal kingdom to practice abstinence for sex? Now they want to force it on the other animal groups. So typical of Mankind. Anyhow, i read about this via B3.

2005-06-22T00:35:00.000+10:00

The Sony Ericsson K750i. Amazing features. 2.0 Megapixels camera.

2005-06-22T00:34:00.000+10:00

The back of the phone. It's so sleek. Plus, the lens of the camera is not exposed like other camera phones. Instead the silver cover can slide over the lens to offer protection.

Sugar popcorn

2005-06-21T02:18:00.000+10:00

I was supposed to drive the family car today, under my dad's supervision, in case my driving skills get a little rusty. But i gave that a miss, to head down to the city with Wai Han.

We browsed in Kinokuniya bookstore for most of the afternoon, checking out the latest releases, graphic novels and comics. I couldn't find the DK publication for Fantastic Four, guess it isn't out yet. I bought the DK publication for X-Men previously, and it's really good. Love it. Ended up buying the highly anticipated novel, Tyrant, by one of my favourite authors, Valerio Massimo Manfredi. Couldn't find the book in Australia though, maybe it has not been released there yet.

We proceeded to catch the movie, Monster-In-Law, starring Jennifer Lopez and Michael Vartan, 2 of my favourite actresses and actors! You have got to catch it, it is really funny. Wai Han who was extremely reluctant to watch it, ended up enjoying the show. Micheal Vartan got such a hot bod, it's breath-taking! J.Lo is as usual, very classy and stylish. But i think the credit of the show should also be given to Jane Fonda, who was hilarious!

And finally, finally i could savour sweet popcorn. Australia only sells salted popcorn, which is a great disappointment for people like me who are blessed with a sweet tooth. You can't imagine how terrible it is to sit through a whole movie, without anything popcorn to munch on. Somehow, a movie without popcorn feels like something's missing. Choctops, no matter how yummy they are, just cannot replace the humble popcorn. Wonder why Australia insists on salted popcorn only, anyway. Hell, they don't even have Nachos!

Ok, i got to end here. Am exhausted after crawling through practically the entire Orchard Road. The sweltering heat can really kill. I swear i will be shortened when i reach Melbourne for next semester, as half of me would have melted by then. That said, i realised that i grew taller. Either that, or Wai Han grew shorter. But my dad commented that i grew taller too. Which is kind of absurd, since i am pushing 20. But my height really shows. When i take the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) train to the city, i observed i towered almost over everyone, both guy and girl. How to find a partner like this??

P/S: By the way, i have set up a photoblog. You can find it here. Have a look at the Url, sounds familiar? Yup, you got that right, it is the name of another bacteria.

2005-06-21T02:16:00.000+10:00

The first aid kit i purchased during the KL (Kuala Lumpur) trip. I was debating between the red or the army green one. The red colour is the nicer one, though it is rather clique.

Why the sudden urge to get a first aid kit?
Because i needed to at least ensure CPR can be done in a hygenic way, using face masks, and to minimize the risk of infection with gloves. Apparently, we have a moral obligation to help, no matter what kind of illness the casualty has.

2005-06-21T02:12:00.000+10:00

The first aid kit, opened up. Now, all i have to do is get some triangular bandages, roller bandages, face masks and gloves.

2005-06-21T02:11:00.000+10:00

Randy, looking handsome as usual. Recently groomed. At least he ain't camera shy, bad haircut or not.

2005-06-21T01:52:00.000+10:00

Jackie. He simply refused to look at the camera, despite my patient cajoling and persuasion. And everytime i knelt to his level to take a shot, he comes snuggling right up, which prevents me from taking his photo. Is that cunning or what?

2005-06-21T01:49:00.000+10:00

See that red thing? That's Jackie's collar. No, you are not seeing things. I am well aware it looks like a miniature belt i bought from some clothes store. But that was the nicest meanest looking leather collar i could find in the whole store.

Why blood red then? It's my favourite collar, and the only other colour available is black. Black is Randy's colour. Heh heh.

Kuala Lumpur Trip

2005-06-20T01:44:00.000+10:00

I'm back from Kuala Lumpur. It was a busy busy weekend, as we rushed to shop. The line of clothing there is unique from Singapore, so you will never have to be afraid of spotting the same T-shirt design you are sporting on, on someone else. Trust me, when that happens, it can be pretty embarassing and annoying. The OP (Ocean Pacific) brand of clothes is like that. I try not to wear my clothes bought from this store in Singapore; only wear them in Australia. Haha.

Anyhow, there simply wasn't any time to shop much. The clothes there are definitely cheaper than Singapore's, and the designs unique. I met up with Mun Ling. Can you believe that the hotel i stayed for the night, was located just in front of Mun Ling's condominuim? It was unbelievable! But i couldn't spare the time to pop by her place to meet her dog though. She brought us around to the major shopping malls, like Sungei Wang, and KLCC (don't know what it stands for, maybe Kuala Lumpur Community Centre? Heh heh!). There was another major shopping centre, Mid Valley, that was located like a 45minutes drive away? We couldn't go there though. According to Mun Ling, i would be much happier there. But never mind, another time, i suppose.

As usual, i headed into all the sports shops. They have brands like Romp, Diesel (not sure whether Singapore has it, don't remember ever seeing it), and a lot more, which sell clothes that are not irritatingly cute (catch my drift?), but cater to comfort and style. But many times, i was disappointed. Found a nice design, but don't have my size, it was always too freaking large. Like Mun Ling so aptly put it, larger than a girl, smaller than a guy, caught in between.

I also decided to venture into FCUK, after Mun Ling and En En were raving about it in Australia. It was not bad, bought a T-shirt. I wanted to get this black jacket, which says To Hell or something like that on the back, but my mum and aunt were ~~protesting~~ objecting. They claimed that it was too guyish. Maybe it is, but it was really cool. Oh well.

The bus journey to and fro, from Singapore to Kuala Lumper was smooth-sailing. We sat in this bus, which is single deck, but has the height of a double-decker. We were cruising at speeds that no bus drivers in Singapore would be caught dead doing. And it was a double-deck some more. Got quite frightening on certain occasions, especially the return journey, which was quite bumpy.

We had a rest stop midway, at a place called, Chong Peng. And there, i laid eyes on the largest domestic live fishes i have ever seen in my life. It was a huge huge huge long fat black fish. The moment you see it, your jaw will drop, and you really wonder whether you are seeing things. It was crazy, i don't know how the fish could grow to such a gigantic size. Amazing stuff they must be feeding them.

******
At the family gathering over the weekend (to view my cousin's new condominium), we sat around chatting. By golly, somehow the conversation turned to medical stuff, as my relatives shoot me with questions about cadavers that i have seen, medical conditions and all. My aunt even asked me what was wrong with her knee. It was stressful. Although, i have been prepared for such 'confrontations' by my professors, where relatives assumed you are a doctor even though you attented like 10 weeks of official med school?, it was still a little unnerving. On one hand, you have a few hypothesis, but on the other, you can't say what you think it may be, as people will take your word for real, no matter how times you empathsize the need to consult a doctor for a diagnosis, and that you are only a mere med student with speculations. In the end, i just shrugged my shoulders, pretended to be an idiot, and said i haven't learnt about that particular anatomy yet. It is really scary how your words can have so much weight all of a sudden. Other than that, the discussion about stuff like Thalassaemias, gout, and hell, even lymphocytes and botox shots were enjoyable. Really glad i took the time to remember and understand my stuff.

I also discovered that certain words like neurones, cadavers and haemoglobin which i always took for granted that everyone knows, are actually considered medical jargon. My relatives have actually no clue of what i was talking about, and i had to explain to them in layman's terms. It was quite surprising to me, and i was rather taken aback. I guess now i know better.

2005-06-20T01:43:00.000+10:00

The coach we took, up to Kula Lumpur.
Large and spacious.